Page 55 of The World Outside My Window

The door swings open, and a cold wind blows squally rain under the porch and through the front door, soaking the carpet. They step outside, Laura’s grip on Debbie tightening. She pulls her hood up and takes in the garden, the grass flattened by rain, the leaves on the ground heavy with water. The sky is a furious grey, and the wind blows in all directions, taking the raindrops with it, through the bare branches of the trees that have finally given up the last of their leaves to the late-autumn weather.

‘God, it’s hideous. Shall we do this quickly, like ripping off a plaster?’

Laura gives a small nod, then looks out across the street past Jane’s house, to Simon and Sonja’s. The door is closed but there’s a car on the driveway and a light shines in the window. It looks a long way off, but she’s done it before, she can do it again.

‘Right, let’s go.’

They hurry to the end of the path, heads down, through the gate and onto the pavement. They step onto the road, soaked leaves half blocking the drain. Laura lifts her gaze from the ground and her head spins, the grey sky seeming to stretch on forever. A twig snaps beneath her foot and she jumps, looking quickly behind her. No one. Nothing. It’s just her and Debbie, there’s no one following them. They’re fine.

They keep moving forward one step at a time, and Laura keeps her eyes trained ahead, focusing on the solidity of the bricks, the wooden door, the sturdy maple tree in the garden. The world swims in front of her eyes and she struggles to hold her gaze steady. The walls of the house bulge, the tree tips, the letterbox on the door stretches into an ugly mouth, a mirthless laugh. She stops suddenly and drops to a crouch, cradling her head between her hands. She feels Debbie’s hand on her back as water drips down her hair and into her eyes. ‘Come on, Laura, you can do this. We’re nearly there.’

Laura sucks air in through her nose and out through her mouth, in through her nose, out through her mouth, over and over until her head stops spinning and she thinks she’ll be okay to look up again. When she does manage to lift her head, she can see Debbie’s face is etched with concern.

‘What happened?’

‘I don’t know. I panicked.’ She stands carefully, holding Debbie’s hand again. Everything seems to have returned to normal. Debbie was right, shecando this. ‘I’m okay. Let’s go.’

Even though only a few moments have passed by the time they arrive at the Harrisons’ house, to Laura it feels like hours since she left the safety of her front door. But she’s done it, and she feels ridiculously pleased with herself.

Debbie’s hand hovers at the door. ‘Ready?’

Laura nods weakly.

A sharp rap on the door, and a few seconds later it swings open and a tall woman stands there, a harassed look on her face. A child screams in the background.

‘Hello?’ She looks from one to the other with a frown.

Debbie sticks her hand out and smiles and, yet again, Laura is grateful she has someone else to take charge. ‘I’m really sorry to bother you but we wondered if you could help us.’

The woman gives a tight smile, ignoring Debbie’s outstretched hand, and waits for them to continue.

‘I’m Debbie, and this is Laura. She’s Jim’s wife. From across the road?’ Debbie waves in the general direction of the street and Laura watches as the woman’s face softens and a small smile replaces the previously stern look.

‘Ahh, Laura, I’m Sonja. I’ve been expecting you to come round.’ Her voice has a slight burr, more than a hint of a Scandinavian accent.

‘You have?’

She nods. ‘Yes, Carol told me about Jim and said you’d probably come and speak to us.’ She stops, a stricken look on her face. ‘Oh my, she told me you don’t like being outside too, and it’s pouring with rain. Please, come in, come in.’ She steps back to let them in. The baby is still screaming in the background.

‘Sorry about Amelie. She’s got an ear infection and it seems to have turned her into the crossest child in the world, which is why I haven’t left for work yet. I feel bad, leaving her, you know?’

Laura nodded. ‘Do you need to go and see to her?’

‘No, no, Simon’s with her. I expect he’ll be down in a minute.’ She leads them into the kitchen where the rain hammers down on the flat roof of the extension and drowns out some of the sound of crying.

‘Please, sit.’

They sit obediently on the stools indicated. As welcoming as she is, there is something formidable about this woman that makes you do as you’re told.

‘Let me make some coffee.’ They don’t argue and, besides, it will probably do Laura good to have another coffee to clear her head. The vodka followed by the panic attack has left her feeling woozy and light-headed.

‘So, Carol tells me Jim’s disappeared?’

Laura nods.

‘Three weeks ago, huh?’

Laura nods again.

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