Page 54 of The World Outside My Window

‘Anyway, you need to get going,’ Debbie says. ‘We’ve got things to do, people to see. You can’t just sit festering in your pit all day.’

Laura groans. She feels as though she’s only had about five minutes’ sleep. She climbs out of bed and heads to the bathroom. ‘I’ll just have a shower, then I’ll be there.’

As she lets the water pummel her, she thinks about how far she’s come, as well as everything they’ve discovered over the last few days. She’s decided not to jump to conclusions about what she found in Jim’s filing cabinet. She’s watched enough episodes ofColumboto know that, just because something looks a certain way, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not a red herring. Chances are there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for the card – if it was anything to worry about why on earth would he have risked keeping it here? What that explanation might be, however, she has no idea.

Stepping out of the shower, she hurriedly gets dressed and heads down to the kitchen where Debbie and Ben are sitting at the kitchen table, studying something. They both look up as Laura enters.

‘Feeling better?’

‘Yes, thanks,’ Laura replies sheepishly. She’s ashamed of herself, and vows to try and cut back on how much she’s using alcohol as a crutch. ‘What are you doing?’

‘Just looking at what we’ve got so far.’

Laura leans closer to look over Debbie’s shoulder and sees the map of the cul-de-sac with the list of clues scribbled down the side. Underneath it Debbie has added.

Jim’s dad not dead?

Seeingit written down makes Laura shiver despite her promise to herself.

‘I’ve made some toast,’ Ben says, pushing a plate towards her, and she’s overwhelmed with gratitude for these two people. One, her best friend of twenty years, the other a man she’s only known for a few days but who is already starting to feel important to her.

‘Thank you, you two,’ she says. ‘I’m so embarrassed about last night, but I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.’

She picks up a slice of toast. Food is the last thing she fancies, but she knows she has to eat. Even she can see how thin she’s got, how deep the hollows in her cheeks have become, how loose her clothes are.

‘So, are you ready for this morning?’ Debbie says. They’ve planned to go and speak to Simon and Sonja, who live at number seven.

Laura swallows and shrugs. ‘Not really.’

Debbie reaches for her hands and Laura welcomes the comfort she gets from her friend’s touch. ‘You’ll be fine, Lau. You’re doing brilliantly. I’m so proud of you.’

Tears prick Laura’s eyes. How can Debbie be proud of her, when she isn’t even proud of herself? ‘Thank you.’

Debbie pushes the sheet of paper closer. ‘So, this is what we know about the people at number seven so far,’ Debbie says. Laura peers at the scrawled notes.

Simon and Sonja. Young couple, little girl. She works, he’s at home. Plays poker?

‘This doesn’t tell us much,’ Debbie says. ‘Is this all you know?’

‘I think so. I’ve never actually met them.’

‘How about you, Ben? Do you know Simon and Sonja well?’

Ben swallows the piece of toast he’s chewing and shakes his head. ‘Not really. I’ve known Simon for years but we mainly see each other at poker nights or for the occasional beer at the pub. And since baby Amelie was born he’s hardly been out at all so…’ He tails off apologetically. ‘Sorry, I know that’s not much help.’

‘It’s fine.’ Debbie refolds the map and holds her arm out for Laura to take. ‘We might as well get going. Ready?’

Laura nods and stands, clutching Debbie’s hand. ‘Ish.’

‘That’ll do me.’

‘I’m sorry, guys, I’ve got a meeting in an hour, do you mind if I…?’ Ben indicates the door.

‘God, course not. I—’ Laura stops, embarrassed. 'I’m so sorry about last night. I – I really appreciate you staying.’

‘It’s fine, really,’ Ben says, his face flushing. ‘Good luck.’

Ben scurries out and seconds later they hear the door slam, then Debbie takes Laura’s elbow and they head in the same direction. Even though she’s done it several times now, Laura’s heart rate still accelerates with every step closer they get towards the outside world. She inhales slowly, drawing air deep into her lungs. She’ll be fine, there’s nothing to be scared of; she’s already proven that. Perhaps if she tells herself that enough times she’ll eventually believe it. She shrugs her coat on and squeezes Debbie’s hand.

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