Page 53 of The World Outside My Window

‘Are you serious? You said it when we watched that film a while back,Steel Magnolias, and they were getting married.’

I didn’t reply. I remembered the film but I didn’t remember saying that. But I also didn’t want to cause a row, not today of all days. This was meant to be the happiest day of my life, and I didn’t want to spoil it after Jim had gone to so much effort. So I just reached for his hand and squeezed it, and held it until we arrived at our hotel.

As we let ourselves into our room I felt momentarily disappointed at how ordinary it looked, and chastised myself immediately for being such a spoilt brat. It might not be a fancy honeymoon suite, but that wasn’t what getting married to the person you loved was all about. Still, I thought, as we carried our bags over the threshold, a girl only gets married once.

I didn’t have long to dwell, because Jim was like an excited puppy beside me, bouncing around from one thing to the next, barely able to settle.

‘What on earth is wrong with you?’ I said, grinning at him indulgently as he fiddled with the kettle, opened a packet of shortbread, picked up one of the pillows from the bed. He threw the pillow down, picked up his small holdall, and unzipped it.

‘I’ve got a surprise for you,’ he said, rummaging inside his bag.

‘Another one?’ I wasn’t sure I could take any more surprises today.

‘This is part of the same one really.’ He pulled something wrapped in plastic out of his bag and held it in the air triumphantly. ‘Ta-da! Your wedding dress!’

‘Oh!’ I stepped forward to look at it more closely. ‘It’s…’

‘You don’t like it.’ He sounded like a heartbroken little boy.

‘No, I do, it’s lovely. It’s just – I hadn’t expected it.’ I took the dress from him and held it up in front of me and turned to face the mirror. It was pale blue, floor-length with short puffed sleeves. It was so far away from what I would ever have chosen I wanted to cry, but I didn’t want to upset Jim so I plastered a smile on my face. ‘Thank you, Jim, it’s beautiful,’ I said.

He wrapped his arms around me from behind and looked over my shoulder at us both in the mirror. ‘Do you really like it? I wanted you to have something special to wear.’

I turned my head and kissed him. ‘I do, thank you. I love you.’

‘I love you too, wife-to-be.’

19

NOW – 8 OCTOBER 1992

Number seven Willow Crescent

Simon and Sonja Harrison and baby Amelie

‘Come on, chop-chop.’ Laura groans as she squints through half-closed eyes to find Debbie perched on the edge of her bed.

‘What are you doing here?’ she mumbles, her mouth dry.

‘Ben let me in.’

Laura rubs her eyes to try and clear her mind. What on earth is Debbie talking about? Why is Ben here?

Slowly, her mind fog clears and fragments of the previous evening float into her mind. The birthday card she’d found locked away in Jim’s office… crying on Ben’s shoulder… drinking too much wine… and what had happened after that? Had Benstayed?

‘Ben?’ she says, the only word she can manage.

‘When you rang me last night you were in such a state I asked him to stay with you to make sure you were okay. He slept on the sofa.’

‘Oh God…’ Laura groans, shame flooding her body.

‘It’s fine. It was just a precaution. He didn’t seem to mind.’

‘Where is he now?’

‘Downstairs, making coffee.’

‘Right.’ She can’t think about the fool she must have made of herself in front of this man she’s only known for five minutes.

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