Page 7 of The World Outside My Window

The candlelight flickered between us as Jim studied the menu.

‘It’s always hard finding somewhere decent to take a chef,’ he said, running his finger slowly down the steak list. ‘But I’ve been here before and the food is pretty good.’ He gave a goofy grin. ‘Not as good as yours, obviously.’

‘It looks lovely,’ I agreed, even though I was trying to ignore the over-inflated prices. This wasn’t the sort of place I normally came to and I couldn’t help feeling a little self-conscious, not least because everyone in here – Jim included – was at least ten years older than me. ‘I’m just grateful to eat something I haven’t had to cook myself.’

‘Well, good.’

The waiter appeared at our table and Jim put his menu down.

‘We’ll both have the steak, rare, and a bottle of the Pinot Noir,’ he said.

‘Oh, I—’ I started, but Jim flashed me a smile.

‘Trust me, the steak is the best thing in here.’

‘Okay,’ I agreed, handing my menu back.

He studied me in the dim light. His eyes shone and I noticed the fine lines radiating out from them, the hint of grey at his temples, the only obvious sign of the fourteen years between us. He was so handsome, and so much more loving and attentive than men my own age. Not that I’d had much experience. I’d only ever had two boyfriends before, and they had never been as exciting and intense as this.Thiswas what romance should look like. This was how real men did it.

It had only been two weeks since Jim had burst into my kitchen and into my life. Since then we’d seen each other most days, and each time had felt more extraordinary than the one before.

‘You barely know him,’ Debbie had said when I’d told her I thought I was falling in love.

‘But I feel as though we’ve known each other for years,’ I’d admitted, knowing I was failing to explain the true depths of my feelings for this man. She’d frowned, as I’d known she would.

‘Laura, what’s going on? This isn’t you. This isn’t how you behave.’

‘What do you mean?’ My voice had been sharp and Debbie had noticed.

She’d sighed. ‘I mean—’ She’d shrugged. ‘Nothing. I guess… I just think you should be careful. You’ve gone this long without giving your life up for a man, and I just worry that you’ve gone a bit gaga for this Jim.’

‘Gaga? I thought you’d be happy for me,’ I’d said, more than a little grumpily.

‘I am. I will be,’ she’d said. ‘I just think you’re taking it a bit too fast. What’s the hurry?’

‘How long were you with Steve before you got married?’ I’d said, challenging.

‘You’re thinking ofmarryingthis guy?’

‘No! But you’re missing my point. You and Steve weren’t together very long before you became serious. I just don’t understand why you’ve got such a problem with me doing the same.’

She’d hesitated then, and studied the tabletop where our almost-empty glasses of wine sat in puddles of water. Then she’d looked up at me with concern in her eyes. ‘Because this is so out of character, Lau. I’ve always thrown myself into relationships full pelt, you know that. But you? You don’t. You’re careful, more cautious. And this is—’ She’d stopped again, frowned. ‘I just want you to be careful, that’s all. Promise me you will be?’

I’d softened and decided not to cause an argument. Debbie was my oldest friend, and she was only looking out for me. Besides our other friends had arrived then and the moment had gone.

‘Promise,’ I’d agreed as the others had sat down. We hadn’t said another word on the subject for the rest of the evening or, in fact, since that night a few days before. But now, as I sat opposite this man who’d turned my world upside down in just two short weeks, I felt a nugget of resentment at Debbie for not being more supportive, for trying to spoil what otherwise felt so amazing, so new. So thrilling.

The waiter arrived with the wine and Jim and I chatted easily. Even though we hadn’t known each other long it felt easy, natural between us.

We were on our second bottle of wine and our steak plates had been cleared away when Jim reached across the table and took my hands. A spark ripped through me at his touch, the way it always did, and his gaze was intense, as though he was searching right into my soul.

‘I’ve got something to tell you,’ he said, licking his lips nervously. ‘And it affects us.’

‘What is it? What’s wrong?’ I said. I felt dizzy with worry.

‘You know I work for a hotel chain?’

I nodded.

---