Page 33 of Double Play

He nods, slipping under the covers next to her as I mirror him on the other side. Reaching out, I band an arm around her waist, pulling her into my warm body and holding onto her like a lifeline. I can’t stop myself from burying my nose into her hair, the unmistakable smell of both our colognes mixed together filling me with a sense of possession so strong it makes my head spin. She hums contentedly, turning so her back is to my front before instinctively extending her small hands toward Jacks. Immediately, he slides closer, pressing a ghost of a kiss to her lips as he settles onto her pillow.

We don’t change positions for the rest of the night, holding Arden until the sun comes up—knowing that no matter where life brings us, nothing will ever top the feeling of having her in our arms.

TWENTY-SIX

ARDEN

“What does this mean?”I say, dragging my fingertip along the dark, haunting tattoo inked on Hawk’s right arm as Jackson sleeps peacefully behind me. Tracing the staircase that leads to a cluster of thick, black clouds, I stop and stare at the silhouette that ascends it.

He looks down, taking a slow breath before lifting his arm from where it’s draped over me. “It’s me. All my life, I’ve felt like I was climbing, but no matter how hard I tried, I could never reach the top. Even being drafted and getting called up to the Fury—I still felt like there were miles and miles to go before I’d ever be happy.

“When my dad took my brothers, I lost sleep wishing he’d have given enough of a shit to at least check in and let me know how they were. It sucked that he didn’t want me, but I kind of understood because I was technically an adult. He wanted the family my mom wasn’t able to give him, so he made it with his new wife while I stayed behind and ensured that she’d be safe after I left for the minors. I was barely legal, yet I was dealing with so much. Losing them sent me to a really dark place, and the only thing that kept me from drowning was the thought that someday, I’d have money and a big enough house to take them back. They’d each have their own rooms that they could decorate any way they wanted, and they’d never have to sleep on a dirty, stained floor ever again.

“The first couple of years were hard because not only did my dad cut off all contact, but I was also traveling nonstop most of the time. I was making money, but not enough to really get the things they’d need. It wasn’t until I was called up that the bigger contract offer came, the one I knew would allow me to support them.

“I was so fucking excited. I got a financial advisor, and we worked on this big, elaborate plan to build a house on the beach where Hayden and Henry could come visit. Then, when they were old enough to choose, maybe they’d want to stay. But when I made the call to my dad to tell him that I was ready to have the boys in my life again, he threatened me with a restraining order. He said they were angry with me for choosing my mom—which I suspected was bullshit—and that as their guardian, he wouldn’t allow me near them.”

I bring my tear-filled gaze up to his, my brows pulled inward as my heart shatters for this amazing man. He gave up a proper childhood to raise his brothers, and they were ripped away like his feelings didn’t matter. Under his broody exterior, Hawk Mason is one of the most beautiful human beings I’ve ever met, and it kills me that he lives every day without the one thing he wants most.

“Couldn’t you get a lawyer and fight to see them? Don’t the courts usually want to keep siblings together?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Neither of the states we live in protects sibling rights. I’ve hired multiple attorneys and tried to get visitation, but as long as they’re under eighteen, he’s allowed to say no. I even suggested mediation with just him and me so I could show him that their best interest is always my main priority, but he refused. My only hope now is that once they’re adults, they’ll reach out. That’s one good thing about being in the public eye—they’ll always know where to find me.”

Tears flow freely down my cheeks, and I reach up, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck so I can pull his mouth to mine. His tongue slides along my bottom lip, causing sparks of electricity to prick at my chest, and I open, allowing him to taste me. My heart flips and flutters as I breathe him in, feeling incredibly lucky that he’s shown me parts of him that he keeps so close. Hawk has changed me in ways he’ll never know, and I hope I can provide even half the comfort to him that he does to me.

I break the connection, pressing my forehead against his. “I’m sure they miss you so much. Someday, you’ll get a chance to tell them everything. I’m sure of it.” He nods weakly, taking my hand and stroking his thumb over my knuckles. The gesture is oddly intimate, but I love it when his touch is tender and full of emotion. I know he has trouble expressing himself—which isn’t really a surprise since he wasn’t shown much love growing up—but in these moments, I don’t need words. I can feel it.

“And the other arm?” I ask, curious about the rest of his tattoos. The two couldn’t be more different. Where the right is dark and chaotic, the left is bright and inviting. The only similarity is the faceless silhouette, leisurely wading in a shallow pond while airy trees hang overhead, running up the length of his bicep.

He rolls onto his back, lifting his arm and lying it over his stomach so I can study it more intently. “It’s him,” he says, lifting his head toward Jackson. I purse my lips, running my hand along the serene artwork, following the curl of the branches that wind above the man as he takes in his own reflection on the water’s surface.

“By the time I was drafted, I was a shell of the old Hawk. I had a fresh wound from losing my brothers, and leaving the only place I’d ever known only made it worse. It wasn’t that I really missed home because I never even knew what that word meant, but I wasn’t exactly in the ideal headspace to meet and connect with new people. So, I didn’t. I spent hours in my hotel room, avoiding any team events that weren’t mandatory, and I was perfectly content falling into my anxiety and depression while everyone else got to know one another.

“On road trips, we had roommates, and I guess Jackson drew the short straw because he always ended up with me. He’d ask me to go out for drinks or to play video games, but I always said no. I didn’t have it in me to fake being happy just to make him comfortable, so I figured if I turned him down enough times, he’d move on.”

I giggle quietly, peering over my shoulder at Jacks as he sleeps soundly. His face is relaxed, and he looks truly happy, just like he always does. He’s a ray of sunshine in this world, even when he isn’t awake. “And he didn’t,” I say knowingly.

“Nope,” he replies, chuckling. “He annoyed the fuck out of me until I finally agreed to a game of Fortnite. At first, we didn’t talk at all. We wordlessly made our way around the map, learning enough about each other that we didn’t even have to communicate out loud to win. I don’t think he realizes it, but the friendship he offered without pushing me for more than I could give made things feel less hopeless. Like I could sort through my shit, and he’d still be there, ready and waiting with an extra controller in his hand. I’m not very easy to love, but you’d never know it with the way he does it so effortlessly. He battles my darkness with his light every day, and I’ll never be able to thank him enough for that.”

I smile tenderly, weaving our fingers together as I bring my eyes to his. “He knows. And for what it’s worth,” I say, swallowing the emotion in my throat, “youareeasy to love.” His expression softens, and he kisses me gently, telling me that he hears the words I’m not saying. I don’t know if he’s really ready for them to be spoken into the universe, but they’re waiting on the tip of my tongue for the very moment he is. I love Hawk Mason with everything I have.

“Ask me about the tattoo on my back,” he says against my lips. I smirk, because out of all the pieces on his body, that’s the one I’ve gotten to examine the most. He’s been comfortable walking around the house without a shirt since I got here, even before things became physical between us, and I always felt like I could really pore over every detail because when I was behind him, I knew he couldn’t see me. I looked my fill many times, memorizing the scene that brings both sleeves together. On his right, the dark smoke flows over his shoulders, rolling toward the middle of his upper back before gradually dispersing. On his left, the intricate branch designs curl up and around, breaking through the black clouds and ending at the base of his neck. Below it all stands a beautiful woman with dark hair, looking up at the chaos as if she’s completely unafraid. The first time I saw it, I nearly stopped breathing as I took in the bravery written across her expression, wishing I had that kind of dauntless strength within me.

“Tell me,” I reply, wanting more than anything to hear the story behind it.

He exhales a slow, shaky breath, speaking quietly. “She came to me in a dream shortly after I was drafted. I shrugged it off at first because nothing about her made sense, but when she started showing up night after night, I couldn’t help but wonder why. Every time, she walked toward me, stopping when she was close enough to touch. She’d reach out and take my hand in hers, and the strangest sense of calm would wash over me. It was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. At least until I met you.” I freeze, my brows pulling tight in confusion, but before my mind has a chance to run away on its own, he continues.

“The first night you were here, when you brought me into your bathroom to check my face after you punched me—that was when everything started to connect. It was the most innocent, meaningless gesture for you, but it shook my world. At first, I tried to push it all away. I pretended that your fingers ghosting along my jaw didn’t bring me that same feeling of warmth and safety I got in my dreams. I thought if I ignored it enough, I’d realize that your touch wasn’t so unmistakably familiar. You were off-limits because, even though Jackson wasn’t ready to admit how he felt, I knew you held his heart. I was afraid that if I let myself believe what was already so clear in my head—that she was you—I’d lose him.

“I know it sounds crazy,” he says, shaking his head, “and maybe it is. But I have this feeling that, even before I knew you, you were my peace. We were meant to find each other—all of us—and now the two of you are inked on my body and soul permanently.”

I lie there, completely speechless, blinking slowly as I process his words. I don’t even realize I’m crying until he reaches out and smooths the tears running down my face away with the pads of his thumbs. My heart whooshes loudly between my ears, screaming at me tosay it. To tell him what I’m feeling, regardless of the repercussions.

“Hawk, I?—”

“I love you, Arden,” he blurts, cutting me off. I suck in a quiet gasp, watching as an emotion I’ve never seen before passes over his face. It’s soft, yet nervous, like he thinks there’s even the smallest possibility that I wouldn’t feel the same. But he’s crazy if that’s the case because there isn’t a single part of me that isn’t head-over-heels for him.

“I love you too,” I whisper, and he exhales a relieved breath as a genuine smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. It’s the first time I’ve seen him like this, and I’m shocked when two deep dimples sink into his tan cheeks. My jaw drops and I choke out a laugh, bringing my fingers up to run over them.