Page 33 of Harvest Moon

“Hard on you two, too, losing a daughter.”

Henrik nodded, and Barbara was fixated on the pan in front of her.

“It is,” was all he said on that. “But it’s hard from the other way too. Nobody ever talks about that as much though—how omegas need alphas every bit as much as y’all need us. Guess it’s not really the same when you don’t see omegas go all feral, but I don’t know what I’d do without Barbara.”

She sent him a sweet smile, and he glanced her way before turning back to me.

“But it’s rough, counting on an alpha, needing them there, and having them disappear on you. I’ve seen omegas give too much, spread themselves way too thin, trying to fill a gap they only fill soothing their alpha. It’s not just about heat, it’s—it’s about having a place.”

With an awful, sinking feeling, I thought about Alexis—I’d left him behind for years. Had I caused him to feel anything like that hurt?

“Never thought about it that way,” I admitted, scowling.

Henrik nodded. “Can’t say you see omegas making a fuss quite the same way alphas do. And same way we don’t know what to do about the Condition—sometimes it’s just hard for alphas who get all big and in charge to think about everybody all the time. It’s why I’m glad we’ve got Linden Grove as pack alpha now. Glad we got you too.”

Oh lord, I was sure I hadn’t done anything to deserve all that. If I’d caused Alexis even a second’s pain, I was as lousy an alpha as they came.

Barbara must’ve sensed my discomfort when she came over, because she gave me extra bacon and changed the subject.

“You think you’ll be able to manage the farm today on your own, Ridge?” she asked.

I nodded. “It’s been pretty dry out lately. I’ll make sure everything’s getting plenty of water, buried deep enough. I’ve got this. Absolutely.”

After all, I’d been expecting to watch over my parents’ farm alone. One single day was nothing.

She sat down with her own plate after putting more bacon and eggs in the middle of the table. “You just let us know if you need anything, all right?”

“Will do, Mrs. Hill.”

But when I got outside, I realized there was one thing I needed to do first.

All through breakfast, I hadn’t been able to shake the idea of Alexis waiting all those years I was in school, a hole inside him like the kind Henrik had described.

Nobody ever talked much about things omegas struggled with—not outside of the Condition, but that was physical. It was easy to see. I knew a guy’s heart could hurt just as bad as his body, and I hoped I hadn’t done anything to make Alexis feel like that. All of a sudden, I had the impression I had some making up to do, and even if he’d been fine without me, it wouldn’t harm a thing for me to put in some effort with him.

I paced on the porch, my phone in my hand. Every little bit the sun rose poured warmth and light over the bleached-out boards of the porch and the dry, creaky porch swing where Henrik sat with a book most afternoons.

This shouldn’t be hard. As kids and as teenagers, Alexis and I had run across the field to meet up, banging on old screen doors until somebody’s ma answered and pointed us in the right direction.

We hadn’t needed plans or phones or anything but each other. Neither one of us had ever been an imposition.

Now, I didn’t think he even wanted me here with the Groves. For god’s sake, just me being there had kept him from going on a pack run that first Sunday.

But I couldn’t stand the thought of losing him forever, of this awkwardness between us growing till it was all that was left.

With one last nervous swallow, I hit his name with the pad of my thumb and called him. My pacing slowed till I stood in place while the phone rang in my ear.

Finally, when I thought he wasn’t going to pick up and I’d have to leave a voicemail, the ringing stopped. Along with my heart.

“Hey.” With such a short word, there was no damn way I heard as much annoyance in his voice as I thought.

“Alexis, hey. Hi.”

“What’s up, Ridge?”

Okay, maybe I did hear some genuine annoyance in there.

“I had a thought today...” Even when I trailed off, Alexis didn’t say anything, but he’d always been real good at listening. That, at least, wasn’t a sign I could read anything bad into. “With us both being new to the pack, and the apple orchard being such a big deal around here—well, I haven’t had a chance to go out and see it. It occurred to me that maybe you hadn’t either? So I was thinking you and me could go out there together. Maybe this weekend, when Birch is around so Mrs. Claudia won’t need you quite so bad.”

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