Page 16 of Harvest Moon

That look in his dark brown eyes was intense, and not wanting to be caught off guard, I pushed myself to stand.

“You know,” he said, tilting his head to the side, one corner of his mouth lifting more than the other, “if you ever need to work off any of that alpha angst, I wouldn’t mind.”

I scowled. “Sorry?”

His bottom lip stuck out now, and he shrugged. My breath caught when he reached out to fiddle with the topmost closed button on my shirt.

“I know I’m not an omega, but if I can help... I don’t mind being here for you, Ridge.” A flutter of his dark lashes, and I swear to god, my heart stopped in my chest.

“Oh.”

He laughed, a faint reddish hue darkening his cheeks. “That doesn’t sound like the enthusiastic affirmation I was looking for.”

Thank all the birds in the whole damn sky, he dropped his hand. I ducked my head and scratched the back of my neck. That almost would’ve brought me closer to the man, since he was half a head shorter than me, but Pat had taken a step back.

For a second, I squeezed my eyes shut. It wasn’t like he wasn’t a good-looking guy. At least, you know, I couldn’t see much wrong with him. His face was symmetrical, his smile was nice, and I could tell he worked on his body some, even if he didn’t have curves like Alexis did—round muscles that made my heart pound in my chest.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out. “It’s not—I’m just not—”

“Not interested in men?” he asked, his lashes fluttering again as he looked away.

“No. Well, I—” I breathed in sharp and stared down at the old wooden floor. “I’m just not sure I’m all that interested in anybody.”

“Really? Nobody?”

I peeked up at him sheepishly. His gaze was intent now, and interested, but not in a way that looked like he wanted to claw under my clothes, so at least we were headed in the right direction.

“Not really, no,” I admitted. There was only the one exception.

It’d come up in school a lot. There were guys in frats, in those big brick houses, who built their whole lives around drinking beer and getting laid. And being the type of guy I was—big, taciturn, and pretty laid back—I’d made friends, more often than not, with a crowd who liked to think they were going to show me the ways of the world.

I’d never been that interested though. Sure, I’d gotten off before, in my hand, to see what it’d feel like. It was nice—real nice, in fact. But I couldn’t imagine falling into bed just for the sake of that feeling.

Before I opened my heart to somebody, I wanted to get to know them. Everything about them. Why they loved the things they loved, how they subverted their insecurities and faced all those limitations people tried to put on them, who their favorite cousin was.

All right, so I had it bad for Alexis. He was the guy I thought about when I was curious or wanted the distraction or just wanted to feel good. It’d never been porn, or models on magazines, or that hot elf guy in those movies about the little guy and his ring.

It wasn’t until high school that I realized it was strange of me to feel that way, to want one person and nobody else. Most guys I knew, and practically all alphas, shifted their attention to whoever’d sleep with them fastest. And I—I always thought I could live without.

So there I was, fresh out of college, an alpha and a virgin.

It’d taken me a while to convince my friends I really wasn’t interested in making those choices. And heck, it’d taken me just as long to come to terms with who I was. But when I saw heartbreak, or somebody crying because their feelings got all mixed up in the pull of their body, I realized I didn’t regret it.

Maybe I wasn’t driven by those physical passions the way most alphas were, but I’d come to think that was a strength, that maybe I’d be one of those rare alphas who didn’t have to rely on somebody else to calm his bestial nature.

Of course, then I’d gone assaulting Patrick’s cookware, so maybe I wasn’t as together as I thought.

Patrick was standing there, waiting for me to say more, so I smiled at him, even reached over and took his hand for a second. “I do appreciate the offer, Pat. But I don’t go in for the casual stuff, and I’m not in a place to think about anything more than that. I hope that’s okay?”

Patrick laughed. It was a little awkward, and he swayed away from me to reach for a beer in the fridge, so I got to let go of him. “It’s fine. Just thought I’d offer. You know what they say about alphas.”

Well, that brought a blush to my cheeks like nothing else had. I cleared my throat. “People say lots of things they don’t know much about.”

There I was, talking myself around in circles. At least my unease seemed to put Patrick back on solid ground, like maybe he’d realized he wasn’t missing out on the intense alpha experience he’d been expecting.

“This doesn’t have anything to do with Alexis, then? You two were so close in school, we all kind of thought...” He trailed off, and I couldn’t have been more grateful.

Those were thoughts I’d had—I’d hoped for—too. And the last thing I wanted to do was talk about them with Patrick.

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