Page 10 of Harvest Moon

No, not to throw myself at him and beg for one more chance.

Even if I’d never been all that important to him, he was—he’dbeen—everything to me. I owed it to me, at the very least, to let him know I was leaving.

He took me down to the Tastee Freez, and we ordered and sat out on the metal picnic benches to wait.

“You’re dressed up all fancy,” I said, waving at his clothes. I could count the times I’d seen him in something other than jeans on one hand, so it was a little odd.

Maybe he’d been interviewing for a job? No, that wasn’t too likely. The whole reason for the college degree was to work the family farm. I still remembered him talking about it, all that hope sparking in his warm green eyes when he spun tales of how he’d make everything better, all that hurt when his dad told him he couldn’t. There was no way he’d have time for both a job and the farm, was there?

Sure, I was convinced he was Superman half the time, but in reality, he was just one werewolf. Yeah, a strong young alpha werewolf, but still not a superhero.

Mostly.

He fiddled with his straw wrapper and didn’t respond to the comment about his clothes, but I hadn’t really asked a question, so it was only natural.

They called his name at the window, so he went to grab our drinks and came back to hand me mine.

“My cousin Claudia’s having a baby,” I blurted out, because that’s just the kind of awkward I am. Lead up? Explanation? Nah. Jump in with a half-formed answer to a question that he hadn’t even known to ask.

He lifted a brow but still didn’t ask, just waited for me to explain. He knew how my brain worked.

I sighed, rewound my tongue a few yards as I set my drink down in front of me, and stared at it. “Claud thinks maybe she’s got the Condition. She’s worried, and you know, that can only make it worse.”

“And pregnant,” he said with a wince. “Sorry. I know she’s your favorite.”

Of course he did. How did the man know me so well if we weren’t supposed to be together? Why had he spent years listening to me ramble if he didn’t want me? I cringed at how I sounded in my own mind. I’d pushed Ridge into the boyfriend zone and ignored the possibility that he only wanted to be friends.

I was like one of those alphas who insisted that an omega owed them time because they’d deigned to notice the omega.

But it was okay. Or itwould beokay.

Maybe.

“She’s worried. And she’s got a really hard job,” I continued doggedly. I would get this out if it killed me. He sat there, looking at me, all earnest interest, nodding. “She asked me to come help out.”

Okay, yeah, she hadn’t actually asked, I didn’t think. I might have forced my way in and said I’d do it, but I sure wasn’t going to tell Ridge that. My pride could have this one tiny scrap, right? It could have Ridge think that even if he didn’t want me, maybe someone did.

His hands flexed around his drink, almost like he wanted to reach out and pat my hand, but he stopped himself. Probably didn’t want to give me the wrong idea.

If only he knew how much of the wrong idea I’d had, and for how long.

I sighed and dropped my head into my hands. “I can’t lose her, Ridge. I know I’ve got Mom and Dad and all, but... Claudia’s always been there for me. She’s—”

“Of course,” he agreed. “You’ve got to take care of what matters to you. You going to stay with her for the pregnancy?”

I nodded, refusing to look up at him. “Maybe just, you know,” I mumbled into my drink, trailing off and staring at the ice crystals in it. “Maybe for good.”

“Like not coming back?” he asked, and it was the first time I heard emotion in his voice since he’d gotten home. His voice, usually so even, went breathless and up an octave at the end.

Well, good. Yeah. I could still be surprising, even if I was boring old Alexis, with no college education and no prospects. I made a respectable, if not astounding, living off my podcast, and it was enough for me. Why should I go to great lengths to change that?

I nodded, picking up steam. “Yeah. Well, you know, if Claudia’s having a baby, even if she’s fine, she’s going to have even more responsibility now than before. So she’ll probably need some help, whether it’s with her work or with the baby. And I’m good at... at things.”

Okay, that speech had started well, anyway. But really, what the hell was I good at? Claudia’s job? She was a leader, a counselor, a moderator of disputes. I’d never done any of those things. Good at babies? Oh hell no. I’d tried to change a diaper once and gotten peed on, and it was an experience I didn’t care to repeat.

That didn’t matter, though. I would find a way to be useful to Claudia and Birch, and they would let me stay. Maybe I’d... yeah, maybe I’d date. Maybe I’d even fall in love with someone in the Grove pack and stay forever.

So why, when I imagined getting married and settling down into a home forever, was I still only able to picture myself with Ridge? Ugh, I needed to get a grip.

---