Page 88 of Finding the Pieces

I owe it to Dom, Luca, and myself.

Therapy didn’t work out for me last time, but I have to try again. After telling the girls our birth story, I expected to feel raw and worn down, but I felt lighter than I had in months. That only makes this decision easier.

I sit on the edge of the bed, staring at the business card from Isabel, the woman I met in the park so many months ago. I hope to be like her someday. She seemed so comfortable in who she is and in how she parents. If I want that, I need to make it happen.

Abruptly, I stand, grab my purse, and leave for my appointment before my nerves can get the best of me. Here goes…everything.

***

“Motherfucker,” I mumble as my internet connection fluctuates in and out.

Luca laughs as Dom pushes him on the swing set underneath the willow tree in our backyard before demanding to go down the slide another time. I pause, watching them for a moment before fighting with my laptop again.

I’m finally reconnected when I hear a knock on the gate. Bec and Aiden follow as an overzealous yellow lab bounds into our yard and starts doing zoomies around the playset, where Luca claps in celebration, welcoming his best friend.

“You guys know how to make an entrance,” I say.

“Who us? No, couldn’t be us causing a scene,” Bec says, brushing me off. “We come bearing gifts.”

“Oh my god, I can smell the garlic. Gimme,” I say as Bec and Aiden drop take-out containers on our patio table.

“Uh, you two good for a second? I’d help set up, but I think I need to intervene.”

Hopper is climbing with tentative paws onto the playset rock wall, an adorable little whine escaping his muzzle at the sight of Luca so high and out of reach. He lies down and watches Luca intently, silently begging his buddy to join him back on solid ground.

Shit. The last thing I need is to fall in love with how cute Hopper and Luca are together. I’m just coming back to myself in motherhood…let’s not add a puppy to this mix.

“You know…Luca looks like a dog baby,” Bec sings as she unpacks carryout containers.

I narrow my eyes at her. “If you’re reading my thoughts, I hope you heard the rest of them. Cute. Adorable. But that’s what we have you for, and why I’m so grateful my best girl and her fancy fiancé and dog only liveten minutes away.”

“You and me both.”

I run inside to grab dishes and Luca’s booster seat before Bec and I spend a few minutes setting up the table for us to eat. The guys are plenty busy entertaining Luca and Hopper.

I smile at the chorus of toddler giggles and excited barks. Spring is slowly fading, and with each warmer June day, I feel the life soaking into my skin with the sunshine.

“Can I ask how it’s going, or is that going to stress you out?” Bec asks.

“Despite the cursing you probably heard on your way in, it’s actually going…well?”

“Is that a question or an answer?”

“A little bit of both, I guess.” I shrug, setting aside a stack of napkins. “It’s surprising. Everything is sort of falling into place. I mean, I have no fucking clue what I’m doing, but I already had a few people from my office refer their friends. I booked my first official session.”

Bec’s jaw drops comically low. “What?” she shouts at me before pulling me in for a too-tight hug. “Ellie, oh my god. Lead with that next time! That’s amazing.”

I pat her back lightly, my ability hindered by her tight grip around my arms.

“Down girl. It’s only one appointment.”

“You shut up, Ellie Moretti. This is a big fucking deal. I’m so proud of you. Tell me everything.”

I can’t contain my smile, a mix of nerves and excitement bubbling up as I explain how I booked my first client ever with my own photography business.

“My coworker’s sister is expecting. She’s been looking for a photographer for the birth.”

Bec’s face drops instantly, her expression shifting quickly to one of worry.