Page 102 of Winning the Nightcap

I still don’t know what to say. Should I dig in my heels or just give in and let Dom attempt to help, even though I don’t think that’s possible?

At my silence, Dom lets out a deep breath.

“Okay, I didn’t want to do this, but if you don’t come with me, someone scary will show up next.”

“Dylan isn’t scary.”

“Not Dylan.”

“Neither are Jake or Chris,” I add.

“Not them either.”

“Who the fuck are you talking about, Dom?”

“Ellie. If you don’t come with me now, Ellie will show up next.”

I don’t need to hear anymore before I’m putting on my shoes and cap, then taking Hopper’s leash as Dom hands it to me.

“Thought so,” he says, smug as all hell. “See, Luca? We don’t fuck with Mommy, do we?”

The four of us step onto the elevator and Dom holds Luca’s arm up to force his infant to give him a high five. “Mission accomplished, little man.”

I let out a chuckle for the first time in days, but the relief is short lived at the reminder of what a great dad Dom is. I don’t expect anything less from Dom, or want anything less for Luca, but the jealousy and pain at not having that same relationship with my own father cuts deep any time I think too hard about it. It’s all I can seem to do lately.

Talking about this is going to suck.

* * *

Three hours, two beers, and one pizza later, Dom turns off the TV, leaving us in silence.

Well, almost silence. Hopper is snoring loudly at my feet while Luca plays with a soft toy in his spot on the couch next to Dom.

“Do we have to do this?” I ask.

“Yeah, Aiden. We really do,” he says.

I slump back into the couch, shutting my eyes. It was nice to hangout and talk sports for a couple hours. It was the best distraction from my thoughts I’ve had all week.

“Look, I wouldn’t push you on this if I knew you were talking tosomeone. Evie, Bec, Dylan…anyone. Evie told us what happened with your mom,” Dom says.

I shoot him an irritated look.

Did I expect Evie to keep this a secret? Of course not. But the thought of them talking about this behind my back annoys me all the same. All I can picture are varying looks of pity and judgment. Are they wondering what I did to warrant Mom’s reaction? Do they know Iwasn’t acting like my piece of shit father or do they all assume the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree?

He puts his palms up defensively. “Don’t get mad at the people who care about you for worrying about you. You wanted space, so we agreed to give you space. But a week is long enough. You’ve had time to try to work through this on your own. It’s clear as fucking day that didn’t help. It’s our turn now. At least let us try, okay?”

I’ve known Dom for close to ten years now. He knows about my family’s past, but ever since I first told him everything years ago, I don’t bring it up and he doesn’t ask questions.

“I can’t stop seeing the look Mom gave me. I keep reliving that moment. I don’t ever want her to look at me like that ever again. She was so…angry, but there was also this fear bleeding through. This desperation to get as far away from me as possible.”

“Your mom is sick. This isn’t her fault and it isn’t yours either. You’re seeing a connection that isn’t there. When her mind is clear and she’s lucid, she would never look at you like that.”

“Mom knows I’m going to turn out just like him. She finally saw it for herself and that’s fucking terrifying,” I say. The ache in my chest is burning.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. Your DNA doesn’t make you an asshole, your choices do,” he says. “Do you honestly think she’d be capable of raising you to be anyone other thanherson?Hedidn’t raise you and that’s on him. It’s an insult to your mom to act like everything she did for you had no impact on the person you are now. She didn’t sacrifice everything so you could pretend you’re not worth anything. Your dad missed out on the greatest gift fatherhood has to offer: time with our children. So no, Aiden, he doesn’t get to pass on his mistakes to you. Your mom knows that. Don’t hold this against her or yourself. She can’t control her disease, just like you can’t control who your father is.

“I’m not saying it’s fair what you’re all going through, but you don’t want to miss the time you have left with her. Isn’t it worth risking a bad day to spend even just one more good day with her and Evie? All we have is time. I don’t want you to throw it away because you’re scared.”

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