Page 103 of Winning the Nightcap

“Scared doesn’t even begin to cover it. I’m fuckinghaunted. I have no idea what to do.”

“You get help, Aiden. Real help. I didn’t realize you were internalizing everything that happened with your dad. I would have given this to you when you moved back if I had known. Here,” he says, handing me a business card.

“What’s this?” I ask.

“This is who I talk to. I’ve been in therapy since Luca was born,” Dom says.

“What? I didn’t know. Are you good?”

“Getting there,” Dom says with a shrug. “Becoming parents is the best and fucking hardest thing Ellie and I are ever going to do. I needed help figuring that shit out. Everything about our life changed in a second. No matter how prepared I thought I was, I was wrong.”

I had no idea. Dom hadn’t mentioned anything about talking to a professional since Luca was born last fall.

“Shit, I feel bad. I had no idea. Has it helped?”

“It’s not easy, but talking about it helps more than I thought it would. I couldn’t be the husband or father I want to be without an outlet like this. I didn’t say anything because at first, I was embarrassed. It felt like I was admitting my own failure. But I don’t regret it. I plan to go as long as I need to. I owe it to Ellie, Luca, and myself.”

“I’m really glad it’s working for you. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were having a hard time,” I say.

“It’s difficult to talk about, same as you, I bet. I promise I’ll clue you in next time I need a friend, if you promise to do the same. I don’twant to see you like this again.”

I look down, turning the card over in my hand. Dom always seems happy and unbelievably grateful. Even when he and Ellie talk about how hard it can be taking care of Luca, he never seems to be struggling. He’s made the adjustment seem effortless. I didn’t realize how well he could hide how hard this has been for him mentally. But didn’t I do the same thing? At least until the most recent incident ignited my baggage like fucking kindling.

“I’ll call them,” I decide.

“Really?” He sounds surprised. Maybe he thought I’d put up more of a fight, but Dom sharing this with me tells me he really wants to see me give it a shot. If it helped him, maybe it could help me too. He huffs out a heavy breath. “Happy to hear it.” He turns to Luca and prompts him to give him another high five. “We got another win, Luca. Look at us, killing it on boys’ day.”

“Speaking of, where is Ellie?”

“She won’t be back until later, her and the girls…” his voice trails off when we hear the garage door opening and a moment later Ellie walks in, seemingly in a good mood, until she spots me.

“Aiden, run! She’ll kill you,” Dom yells, running over to Ellie to block her from me. He all but throws Luca into her arms. “Murder is a felony, babe. Think of your son.”

Ellie doesn’t say a word. She takes Luca, lifting him into the air and smiling at him before blowing a raspberry on his stomach then sitting him on her hip. Her gaze locks with mine and the smile drops from her face.

“Aiden, do you remember what I told you would happen if you hurt my girl?”

Over the last week, the only interruption from the horrible memory of what happened when I last saw Mom has been the memory of Bec’s face falling after she told me she loved me…and I didn’t say it back.

I was so messed up from everything else going on, I couldn’t process that Bec was telling me she loves me—that she loves me like I love her. She needed to take our relationship at her own pace, something I’ve been happy to do. Hearing her admit to loving me should have been the best day of my life. Instead, it was overshadowed by all the fucked-up shit from the day before. I should have told her what happened with Mom sooner. We could have worked through it together, but instead I fucked everything up.

I wish I could have told Bec how much I love her. How my days begin and end with her on my mind. How I want to hold her in my arms every night. How I want us to move in together. How badly I want to marry her. How I picture building a family with her. How I’ve been hers since the day we met.

I was so trapped in fucked-up memories and my stupid fear that I couldn’t accept what she was saying. Ellie is right to be pissed at me. I deserve what’s coming.

“I know I fucked up…but I love her,” I say quietly.

She sits on the coffee table in front of me, moving Luca into her lap, where he starts playing with her hair. She stares me down with a look so cold I wait for my heart to freeze.

“I know you do. I’m truly sorry about what happened with your mom,” she says. The look she gives me is heartfelt. Fuck, it tears my insides up even more than they already are. “So how are we going to fix this?”

A few feet away, I watch Dom’s shoulders fall with relief. Turns out we both thought Ellie was more prepared to hurt me than help me.

“Don’t look so surprised, Price. I’m asking you again.Howare we going to fix this?” she asks impatiently.

“Why are you willing to help me? I hurt her,” I say, willing my voice to stay calm.

“Tell me. If she told you she loved you on any other day, would youhave reacted the same way?” Ellie asks.

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