Page 101 of Faithful

“So you won’t love me back unless I’m out of the closet?” I ask, hoping this question sounds as mature as it did in my head two seconds ago.

Apparently, it sounds ridiculous. Kai’s face twists a little. He frowns. “You didn’t hear a single fucking thing I just said, did you?”

I open my mouth but shut it before more nonsense spills past my lips.

“I already love you,” Kai says breathlessly, releasing my neck. “Loved you for a long time. I just don’t want to be somebody’s secret anymore.”

And then he leaves.

He walks out of my apartment and into the cold Seattle night without another word.

* * *

I hardly get to sleep that night. I spend the first two hours after Kai’s departure looking through his social media and reading our text history. I psychoanalyze every single exchange, looking for hidden meanings perhaps, reliving the memories of our first encounters. They were simple, mostly just physical. Or at least that’s what I believed. When did things get complicated?

Was it Houston?

Nashville?

Vegas?

Or was it at the Tacoma warehouse all those years ago.

The lines are so blurred that it’s difficult to tell when exactly this became about emotions so strong.

Then I spend another hour writing to him on my phone while cradling Ava’s bass and struggling not to cry. I want to know if he’s breaking up with me or if he’s willing to wait. The stupid option that’s hanging between us to end our relationship with no closure isn’t going to cut it. Not for me.

The message is never sent.

Eventually, my brain refuses to cooperate, and I pass out. By that point, dawn has already arrived and the sky has lightened.

Thankfully, it’s the weekend and I’m not needed at the office, so I get to catch up on all the lost sleep that morning.

By the time I finally crawl out of my room, Leigh’s pretty much done with the pot of coffee she brewed earlier like she does almost every day.

I brush my teeth and then settle next to her on the couch and watch some ofThe Witcher.

“They really shouldn’t be taking this long between the seasons,” she complains. “I hate waiting and I forget everything and binging it a second time isn’t the same.”

I nod and take a sip of my coffee.

Leigh pauses the show and says, “I heard arguing last night.”

“Kai was here.”

She turns to me. “I hope you didn’t fuck on this couch again. Because I swear if you did, Watson…”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“Oh.”

My knee jerks, and I have to lay my hand on top of my thigh to remind myself to keep my shit together.

“Dylan?” Leigh’s voice changes. Softens. “What’s going on?”

I place my mug on the coffee table and look at my best friend sitting next to me, wondering how I got so lucky to have someone like her on my side. “I’m not sure I should stay in the closet.”

“Wow… That’s quite the development.”

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