Page 137 of Faithful

Fuck! What did I get myself into?

“This video you gave me,” Heller begins, “has proved to be useful.”

I swallow and try to tamp down my panic because so far nothing bad has happened to me. Perhaps, if I remain levelheaded, I will get out of this unscathed.

“I must ask, though,” he continues, “why give me something so… private?”

Now that my eyes are used to the dark, I can clearly see the outline of Heller’s body wrapped in layers of expensive clothes. He’s locked his razor-sharp gaze on mine, and it occurs to me that for an old man, he’s pretty fucking impressive. I can’t help but wonder about the nature of the relationship he had with Kai. Was it strictly an exchange–money for sex–or was it more. Did they have dinners together? Did they watch TV? Did they talk?

No, don’t think about it. It’s done with. It’s in the past. It’s not important. And it’s not your place to judge Kai for doing what he thought was right at that time. Besides, it’s not like you haven’t done the exact same thing.

“I have a predicament,” I tell Heller honestly. “I need for my father to stop ruining my life. And you’re the one who can help me do that.”

“And what does it have to do with Kai? Besides the fact that he’s in the photos your father somehow obtained.”

“You know.” I’m certain of it. People like Charles Heller are not dumb. Although I didn’t tell him much during our first meeting at Ruddies, he’s probably already investigated the hell out of me. And if Gavin got his hands on the photos of Kai and me in a club in Vegas, who knows what Heller’s team dug up.

“The shots of him with another young man…” Heller smiles. “The ones circulating online… I’m guessing the young man is you.”

“Yes.”

“And you’re putting yourself on the line because?”

I’m not sure lying is needed or even possible in this situation. So I just come out with it. “I love him, and I want to be with him and my father is making it difficult by threatening Kai with exposing his past.”

Heller remains quiet for a long moment, but his eyes never leave my face and I’m nervous. I’m giving away my every secret right now. I’m entrusting them to a person I don’t know, to a person who could take what I granted in good faith and turn this information against me.

“You're a brave young man,” Heller says eventually.

“Will you use the video then?”

“Your father is playing dirty.”

“He doesn’t know how to play clean.”

“I gathered that.”

There’s another lengthy pause. Then Heller gestures at the door.

“So, will you?” I repeat my earlier question.

He nods. “Yes. And I appreciate your discretion.”

Soon I’m behind the wheel of my car, headed back home.

17 CHECKMATE

Two days later, I receive a call from my father.

I don’t pick up. I don’t feel like talking to him after everything he’s put me through since Christmas. Earlier in the week, he had his PR team email me a list of potential dates to the fast-approaching gala. Then he followed up with an email himself, insisting that I choose one of the girls so he could reach out to her parents for further arrangements.

Asshole.

Not knowing that I had already briefly spoken to my mother about Kai, Gavin got her involved. Shortly after his demands were communicated, she insisted on a serious phone conversation during which she asked me why I wasn’t taking the person I was seeing to the gala. She wanted to meet “the lucky young lady.”

God, I felt like shit for lying to her.

Then I emailed Gavin back, stating that bringing a date to the event I was actually working wouldn’t be polite. She’d end up being on her own anyway.