Page 138 of Faithful

Arguing about it on the phone isn’t something I’ve been looking forward to. That’s why I let the call go to voicemail.

I do listen to that voicemail later, and it’s not what I expected at all. It’s not my father trying to do damage control and force me into going out with a girl to an event with lots of press. It’s my father spewing obscenities and cursing me in a way that could ban this (allegedly) religious man from heaven for good.

You ungrateful piece of shit!

Do you have any idea what you did?

Why can’t you keep your filthy mouth shut, you faggot!

That is where I draw my phone away from my ear. My entire body is shaking, and I can’t make the tremor go away.

All twenty-three pathetic years of my life flash in front of my eyes, all twenty-three years of walking on eggshells and being afraid, of trying to please the man who’s my father, of putting the reputation of the Watson family before my own needs and desires.

And that’s what I get?

Fuck him.

Fuck Gavin and all that he stands for.

* * *

“I want to see you.”

This is what I tell Kai when, after mustering up the leftovers of my courage and sanity, I dial his number an hour later from Leigh’s phone.

My request is met with dead silence and for a second there, I’m convinced we got disconnected.

“Hey?” I whisper, my voice slamming against the stillness on the line like flesh against a brick wall.

I’m in my room with the door shut, pacing. Leigh is out in the kitchen trying to make dinner, but I can already smell something burning. She’s not a great cook and leaving her unattended for long with the oven could be dangerous.

I don’t know why all these random thoughts rush through my mind as I wait for Kai’s response.

“You know I can’t,” he says solemnly.

And fuck, I miss his voice. I miss it so much that I don’t care he’s not telling me the things I really want to hear. He could be calling me names, just like my father, and I’d be hard and halfway to heaven simply because it’s him.

“Remember I asked you to trust me?” I murmur, my breathing suddenly uneven, my pulse lightning fast.

“I do trust you, but–”

“Just stop and listen to what I have to say.” I interrupt him before he begins listing all the reasons why we’re not allowed to meet up. He doesn’t know that I’m taking care of the problem, and it’s probably best we don’t discuss the ins and outs of my recent venture on the phone because Gavin could easily have had someone bug Kai’s device. Don’t know how, but I wouldn’t put it past him. His connections run deep. He’s got the entire police department charmed. So I’m not showing all my aces just yet. I’m playing this game my way now.

“Okay,” Kai agrees.

“I promised I’d handle my father… and I did. So would you do me a favor and let me see you before you go to Europe?”

Again, Kai takes his time as if he’s thinking of the best answer. And I wonder if the anarchy that’s taken over my head has taken over his head too. Finally, he speaks and it’s not what I thought he’d say. “You know, every time I leave my apartment complex, I see the same car–I think I’m supposed to–standing either right outside the front entrance or the parking lot exit. One of those all-black vehicles with tinted windows. The kind that screamsI’m tailing you. Sometimes it’s waiting for me near the studio we’re recording at…”

“When was the last time you saw that car?”

“Today. In the morning. I was leaving for Westlake.”

“Wanna bet you won’t see it again?”

Pause. Then, “What did you do?”

“I don’t want to talk about it on the phone. Can I see you? Please.”

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