Page 104 of Severance

My gaze follows his silhouette through the dark the room, studying his movements. His body is fit and elegant, as if it were made for sex, and I have no idea why he chose to have it with me.

* * *

The first thing I see when I step out into the hallway is a streak of light spilling from under the door of Mikah’s room. A mixture of panic and shame rushes through me because we left the kitchen a mess, but what actually bothers me is the fact that he might have heard us.

Having another guy listen to me losing my virginity is not how I envisioned my first time with Dakota going. The idea of it makes me a little sick.

Clutching the edges of the towel that’s wrapped around me, I tiptoe into the bathroom and nervously shut the door. My chest is heavy and I can’t seem to catch my breath. My brain’s still processing everything that just happen between Dakota and me. There’s a twister of different emotions raging inside my head right now, and each one is fighting to be in the lead.

I turn on the faucet and splash cold water over my face, wondering if my parents will be able to tell a difference, but when I look in the mirror, my eyes look the same. They’re big and brown with mascara smudged underneath. But that can be easily fixed. There’s nothing in them hinting at my not being a virgin anymore. My mouth’s still swollen from all the kissing, but that’ll go away by the time I get home. There’s a tiny red spot right above my collarbone from where Dakota’s lip got carried away, but that won’t be visible either.

My gaze darts from the mirror to the shower stall and back. I stand like that, motionless, soaking up all the new feelings possessing me, until a faint knock on the door drags me out of my daze.

“Alana?” Dakota’s hushed voice calls from the hallway. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah…yeah…” I clench at my towel harder.

“I brought you a t-shirt.”

After a brief moment of hesitation, I go to the door and unlock it. He slips into the bathroom and hands me one of his oversized band t-shirts. “Are you okay?” There’s concern in his gaze.

“Yes.” I nod.

“Are you sure?” He shuts the door and reaches for my shoulders; his palms slide up to my neck and cradle my face. “Does it hurt that much?”

My heart drops to my stomach when I feel sticky wetness sliding down my inner thigh.

“No, no.” I shake my head nervously, fisting the towel. “I’m fine. I’ll be right out.”

Maybe it’s my eyes that give away my panic, or maybe Dakota’s just that good at reading me. He scoops me into his arms and I rest my head on his chest. “What’s wrong, Moonchild?”

I’m not sure if this is the reassurance I needed, but it feels nice—his warm body against mine, his gentle hands in my hair, and his soft lips on my forehead.

“It’s just very overwhelming,” I confess, wrapping my arms around his torso.

“My first time wasn’t that great either. It’s okay. It takes practice.” He laughs a little, tightening his grip.

“I think I’m bleeding,” I say quietly, feeling uneasy. “I need to take a shower.”

“What a coincidence. I need a shower too.”

“Are you going to get mad if I ask you to take me home after?” I ask tentatively.

“No, but I’ll be sad.”

“I don’t want my parents questioning me about tonight.”

“I barely got to have you and you’re already running away from me, Moonchild.” He sinks both hands into my hair.

“I’m not running.”

“I know you’re not.” He gives me a dimpled smile.

After we take a shower and get dressed, we clean up the kitchen. Then I pack up some of the smaller things I brought with me, and Dakota drives me home.

My mind’s still racing long after he’s gone, and I decide to sort all the cupcake photos from today. The selfies he took of us in the kitchen go out to him at around five in the morning. Once the email is sent, I close my laptop and go to sleep.

* * *

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