Page 29 of Enemies, Lovers & A Valentine's Baby

Lila

I stare at my reflection in the mirror as I run the brush through my long, dark hair. Grabbing the glossy waves, I twist it up into a high bun and focus my attention on applying a light coat of mascara. My blue eyes look paler today, staring back at me in the mirror with a hint of sadness.

Being with my sister and her family the other day filled me with so much joy, yet I can’t stop the little bit of envy creeping through. She’s living the life I’ve always wanted, and while I’m incredibly grateful and happy for her, it’s also a reminder of what I lack. I’ll be forty in a few months, and I’m still no closer to figuring out when I’ll ever have my own husband and kids.

I’ve always dreamed of having a lot of kids, but at basically forty, I’m realistic enough to be happy if I could have just one.

Not for the first time, I wonder if I have made the wrong choices in my life. Maybe I just need to settle for a good man, and not worry about the love part. I mean, if arranged marriages can work, then I should be able to figure this out. Right?

Shaking my head as though that would dispel the dark thoughts creeping in, I meet my eyes in the mirror again.

“Somehow things are going to work out,” I smile at myself reassuringly.

I glance at myself a final time before heading out the door.

I’m finally making time for my annual exam with Dr. Vincent as I missed last year’s because from being too busy with work. I should know better. I had my first fainting spell in college, and it turns out I had severe anemia.

It’s something I would probably have known sooner if I’d been better at having consistent checkups.

“You need to make time for your health, Lila.”I can hear Mom’s voice in my head.

***

“Lila Smith?” the receptionist calls out.

“Yes?” I respond, already getting up from my seat.

“Dr. Vincent will see you now,” she says.

“Great, thank you.” I grab my purse, walking in the direction she points me to.

I knock on his office door, only opening it after I hear a muffled ‘come in.’ The graying man sits behind a huge oak desk, a kind smile on his face.

“Lila,” he beams at me.

“Dr. Vincent,” I smile back at him, my turmoil from earlier this morning melting away at the sound of his soothing voice.

“How long has it been?” he asks.

“Almost two years,” I say sheepishly.

“Right. I know that. You think I wouldn’t notice if my favorite patient of seventeen years didn’t come in at the usual time?” He chuckles, taking off the small glasses that are perched on the bridge of his nose.

Dr. Vincent and I have formed a bond over the years. His sessions somehow always end up being therapeutic for me, because we talk about everything, including my plans for the future. He knows how much I want to have a family.

“I’m going to skip the lecture about the importance of taking your health seriously,” he says. I nod sheepishly. There’s nothing that I can say, because he’s right.

He asks me a series of questions to see if there’s been any difference in my lifestyle since the last time he’s seen me.

“Are you currently sexually active?” he asks, and my face turns bright red as I choke out a “no.”

It’s been years since I’ve been intimate with a man.

He continues as if he doesn’t notice my discomfort, used to asking embarrassing questions. “Why don’t you change into this gown? Let me know when you're ready.” I nod and wait for him to walk out of the room before undressing.

I crack open the door and peek my head out to let him know he can come back in.

“Alright, let’s get right to it, shall we?” I nod, walking over to the examination table on the far side of the room and laying on it.

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