Page 2 of Anytime I Want

“I know, right?”

I glance over my shoulder and see her smug grin. I look up to see if he’s still standing there. He’s long gone, and I am left wondering if the wink really was for me or not.

***

Graham

I think about Julia the whole walk across campus. I don’t understand how every guy in school isn’t in love with her. She’s smart, funny, kind, and so beautiful. I’m late for class again because I walked her to hers. I don't regret it, though. Hopefully I can charm Mr. Dune into not giving me detention. If I tell him I was helping a friend, would he believe me? Maybe he’s a romantic, and I can tell him I was trying to win over my crush.My crush. I hate that it's been years and still she’s just my crush. I want nothing more than to upgrade that, but like I said, years and no dice.

I have been best friends with Nathan since that neighborhood preschool group our moms started. No other moms were interested, so it was the three of us. The first day, I was sitting at the table playing with toy cars when the twins ran in. As soon as I made eye contact with Julia, the clouds parted. Angels sang. Hearts floated around her head. I was twitterpated, in a way only a four-year-old could be. I was mesmerized by her long blond hair. It was wavy and unruly, and I loved it. Still do. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a lollipop to give to her. It was key to getting her to love me. Before I could pass it to her, Nathan jumped in the way and asked to play cars. So, that was that. I'm easily distracted. Always have been. This was the start of me watching Julia while I played with Nathan. In a not creepy way, of course. She might not return my feelings, but I’m not a creep. Over the next few years, things shifted. Nathan and I became more interested in sports, and Julia kept reading. And if she wasn’t reading, she was humming. I have always wanted to hear her sing. Unfortunately, the best I’ve gotten was a light melody through the bedroom wall when I slept over. Eventually, she met Chloe and the space between us grew.

I’ve always liked to make people laugh, just like my dad. He’s a big joker, always making people smile everywhere we go. Truthfully, he is a big everything. Well over six feet and threehundred pounds, his resting face is as terrifying as they come, but he has a sparkle in his brown eyes, just waiting to come out in the form of a joke. I want to be like him, so I am. Julia rolls her eyes a lot when I tease her, but she can’t hide the blush. She likes me; I’m sure of it.

When we started high school, I decided to ask her out. I built up my courage, but on my way to talk to her, I was waylaid by Ginger Cole. She took advantage of my distraction, and so we went out once. I didn’t want to, but I have a hard time saying no. I’ve gotten pretty good at switching it up enough so it’s not a date. That way, I don’t feel like a jerk at the end of the night, punching their shoulder and mentioning how great of a friend they are. No one likes to be rejected. Ask me how I know. Then, after I hung out with Ginger or Marissa or whomever, I would ask Julia out again. She would say no. The never-ending cycle. But one day, she is going to say yes. I’m sure of it. I think. I hope.

I walk into class and sit down beside Nathan.

“Glad you made it. Trying to get my sister to date you again?” Nathan asks, totally straight-faced. Don’t let it fool you— he has a great sense of humor. He just hides it, for a reason I cannot understand or explain. I want everyone to know how entertaining and fun I am.

“Yeah, didn’t make much progress. Maybe you could deliver a note for me?”

“Ha. No. You know I don’t care if you ask her out, but under no circumstances will I ask her out for you. That’s weird. Speaking of weird, remember freshman year when you tried to ask out Julia, but somehow you ended up on a date with Ginger? That was weird.”

“Thank you for the reminder. I love thinking about how I screwed that up. Besides, you know I hate saying no.”

“You know who is good at saying no? Julia. Every single time you ask her out.” Nathan laughs and I reach over to punch him.

“Low blow. She’ll say yes eventually.” I hold up my hand and cross my fingers

“Who will say yes eventually?” a girl asks as she’s sitting down, looking way too eager. She's wearing a cheerleading uniform, and I am sure whatever I say will make it back to Ginger way faster than should be possible.

“Okay, class. Sit down. Let’s talk chemistry.” Mr. Dune yells, saving Nathan and me from having to answer. Nathan winks at me and I mime writing a note with a smirk on my face.

Chapter 2

Nine Years Earlier - Julia, 7 years old

I’m sitting under the tree that marks the line between our yard and Graham’s. He plops himself beside me, trying to read what I was writing, and says, “Whatcha doing?”

I quickly cover my paper. “Nothing.” My face turns red.

“Can I see your paper? Please? My mom says I have eyes that are hard to say no to.”

“Uhm. Well. Can you keep a secret?” I say, worrying my bottom lip.

“Absolutely. I’m the best at it.”

“It’s a list. One day, I’m going to fall in love with a boy that does all these things.” I hand the lined, yellow paper to him.

“Bring me a treat every day. Hug me when I’m scared. Hey! I could do these things. Let me be your boyfriend!”

“Oh Graham.” I giggle. “Do you mean it?”

“Well, yeah! That list seems…”

“Graham! Wanna throw the baseball with me?” Nathan runs to the tree, tossing a baseball from hand to hand.

“Sure! Don’t worry, Julia. I’ll bring you a lollipop tomorrow.”

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