Page 57 of Anytime I Want

Ginger’s eyes narrow—we are in the front row after all—and she stretches her fingers. She plays very well and sings asong I’ve never heard before. After a minute of her continually glancing at me, I decide to head backstage. I walk behind the black curtain and see Julia, tense, arms folded, glaring daggers at Ginger. I wrap my arms around her waist, and she squeaks a little before spinning to meet my gaze.

“Graham!” She gives me a quick kiss and hug. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you missing your special performance?” She rolls her eyes and lets out a hiss between her clenched teeth.

I choose to ignore the second question.“I wanted to check on you. See how you’re holding up. Are you ready? You’ve got a good group out there. My parents—I know we said we wouldn’t invite them, but we forgot to tell your parents that—your parents, Josie, Nathan, Chloe, and her parents. We’re all rooting for you.”

“I wish she wasn’t such a good singer,” Julia basically growls, ignoring me completely.

“J. Stop. Look at me.” I hold her face with both hands. “It isn’t about her. It isn’t about me or Nathan or anyone. It’s about you. You. You’ve got this. Ignore her.”

Ginger lets out her final note to resounding applause. She skips over to us and puts her hand on my arm.

“Thank you for meeting me backstage! That’s so sweet.” Julia gives her a look of pure disgust and I drop my arm.

Julia mumbles, “Delusional,”under her breath.

“Just wishing my girl good luck.” I wrap my arm around Julia and give Ginger a bland smile. “Good job though. You have a beautiful voice.” I can’t help myself. I don’t have to flirt with her, but I am a give-credit-where-credit’s-due kind of person.

Ginger gives me a brilliant smile and giggles. “Thank you! It was just a warm-up, really, for the school talent show. Will you be there, too?”

Julia rolls her eyes and stomps onto the stage. My shoulders fall, and I give Ginger a hard stare.

“Stop it, Ginger. She’s my girlfriend. Catch up.” I rush back to my seat, ready to watch my girl steal the show.

Julia has her feet planted on the blue X and gives us a wobbly smile. I nod at her, trying to make eye contact. She won’t meet my eye or anyone else's, but I know she knows I’m here.

She closes her eyes and starts to sing. She chose to perform the song a cappella. The first few lines are good, a little quiet, and someone in the back yells for her to sing louder. She stumbles over the next word and has to stop to regroup.

I hold myself back from rushing the stage to hold her hand.She can do this, I remind myself over and over again.

Julia stands on the stage, frozen, her face pale. Her eyes dart across the audience, and I watch her face grow paler and tears threaten to fall.

I call her name and she turns to me. “You can do this, Jules. It’s just you and me.” Her eyes meet mine, and I can see her relax. She takes a step toward me, and Troy starts toward the stage, presumably to tell her to get back to her mark.

My dad stands up, blocking the path with his girth and mean resting face. Troy stops short before saying, “Excuse me.” My dad folds his arms and grunts at him, nodding toward the camera. “That other girl didn’t have to stand on the mark.”

“Well, she was playing the piano. This isn’t how…” My dad raises an eyebrow at him, and he shrinks back. “Never mind. I’ll figure it out.”

I make a face at him, confused why this matters at all before looking at Julia. “Deep breaths.”

She smiles at me, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. The audience is grumbling a little, asking each other what is taking so long. I glance around, trying to see Mabel but I can’t find her. I shake my head, turning my focus back to Julia. I smile and give her a thumbs up, which is stupid because her eyes are closed, but whatever.

She starts singing again, quietly. The song spreads through the activity room, and the noise dies down. As more and more people turn their focus to her, her voice builds, hitting every note.

I watch in awe. I will never be bored of hearing her sing. Her parents both have tears in their eyes. Mom and Dad are holding hands, staring at Julia, and Chloe’s parents are all wrapped up in each other, but thankfully not making out like usual. Julia’s voice can even calm those two down. I shift my focus to the lyrics.

“I saw you through the crowded room

And I just knew–

Knew I’d dance with you forever.

Yet forever is too short when my future shines

In the light of your eyes,

Sweet Mabel Lou.

I always knew.”

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