Page 43 of Anytime I Want

“Did you know in Canada, these are called scribblers? Spiral notebooks? Cool, huh?” Graham says.

“What? Why do you know that? And why did you tell me that?” I choke out a laugh.

“I’m clearly nervous. I feel like you’re dumping me before we get a real chance to start something. I know I messed up. I flirted with that girl. I swear I didn’t mean to. When I talked about a beautiful girl calling me hot, I meant you. You didn’t say it with words, but I saw your face when you saw me in costume. That’s why I winked. I was trying…” I put my finger to his lips to stop his rambling.

“Graham. Read me the notes.”

“The notes? What notes?” He starts flipping through the notebook and comes to the glued in scraps of paper. “Oh,thenotes.” He clears his throat. “Really? You want to read them again?” Now it was my time to clear my throat.

“Well, I haven’t technically read them yet.” I feel Graham look at me and I meet his gaze, seeing curiosity in his eyes.

“Why not?”

“I was… scared. I know it’s just a stupid list but at the same time, it’s not a stupid list. I’ve spent years dreaming about it, dreaming about a boy sweeping me off my feet by doing these things. Ever since you forgot to…” I bite my lip, stopping my words.

“Forgot to what?” he asks when I stop talking.

I hesitate for a minute, and he reaches over, putting his hand over mine. I know he is trying to help, trying to encourage me to tell him, but it isn’t going to happen today.

“Never mind. This is silly. I’ll read the notes later.” I let go of his hand and head toward the door.

“‘I remember being in preschool with you. You were so smart. You still are. I’m in awe of your brain.’” I turn to look at him, the book open on his lap, but his eyes are focused on me.What is he doing?“‘You look gorgeous today. I love your hair.’ ‘Thank you for giving me a chance. I hope doing this list will prove how I feel.’” He stands up, letting the notebook fall to the ground. “‘You are one of my favorite people. Being friends with you is the best part of my life. Being more will only make it better.’” He takes a step towards me. I can hear my heart beating in my chest.Can Graham hear it? Do I care?He takes another step. “‘We always have so much fun together. Kissing would make it even more fun.’” He smirks a little, and my cheeks turn red and my lips twitch. I look down, to hide my reaction. “‘Julia, I don’t know if this will be forever, but I would love nothing more than to have a happy for now with you. Chloe told me to tell you that one of her movies said, Love is friendship of fire. I want that with you.’” Graham finally reaches me and threads his fingers through both of my hands. He gently touches his forehead to mine.

“You memorized them?”

“Not all of them are new. Some I wrote years ago and was waiting for a good opportunity to give them to you.” He wipes my cheeks as tears spill over my lashes.

“Graham,” I whisper.

“Julia,” he breathes. “Do you forgive me?”

I go on my toes and press my lips to his. I feel his mouth turn up in a smile before he lets go of my hands and wraps his armsaround my waist. After a few seconds or maybe minutes— who can tell?—I hear my mom lightly clear her throat.

“I didn’t want to interrupt because it was so romantic but also, I’m pretty sure we don’t want this in bedrooms. So, hmm, I was going to say go somewhere else, but that feels like a strange thing to say to my teenage daughter and her beau. So instead I’ll ruin the moment and walk away slowly. No more kissing in here. Thank you and good night.” My mom gives a mock salute before rushing to her bedroom.

“I really like your mom,” Graham says.

“Really? I think she needs to work on her timing.”

Graham

I just thought you'd like to know, I will be referring to you as my girlfriend from now on.

Julia

Oh geez.

Graham

Didn't say no! No take backs. See you after school, girlfriend!

Chapter 24

Julia

“Your mom came in?” Chloe gasps, honestly a bit too dramatically for the situation, but I love her anyways.

“Did Graham run away? Every guy I've ever dated would've run,” Josie says. We are sitting in the library during lunch the Monday after Halloween. We’re in serious need of girl time, according to Chloe—no boys allowed. I reminded her that boys came to the library all the time, and that it probably wasn't the best place to catch up, but she brushed me off and dragged me here anyway.

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