Page 12 of Anytime I Want

“Are you sure he’s not yours?” Josie is talking to me but her eyes are laser-focused on Graham.

“P-positive.” I shake my head, frustrated that I stuttered.Way to show your hand, Julia.I open my mouth to tell her that we are going on a date, and it's a bet and nothing before I decide that would be even more telling. I can’t even think about it without rambling; trying to verbalize it seems like a bad idea. I close my mouth so hard that my teeth clank together. Josie narrows her eyes at me for a second, trying to get a read on me.

“Hmm, okay, well, I’ll see you later. I need to redownload my schedule, then we can compare?”

“Absolutely!” Chloe says. I glare at Chloe a little before I remember I’m not jealous of Josie.I told her he wasn’t mine. I need to act like it. Besides, Josie seems cool. There’s always space for more friends.

“Yep, I gotta run though. Chloe can give you my number. Text me,” I say over my shoulder on my way to class. “If I’m late again, I’m gonna get detention and my parents will kill me.” I pick up the pace, pushing open the doors that Graham just left through, in the opposite direction of where Chloe needs to go.

“Hey!” I look up to see Graham leaning against the wall in the hallway. “It’s okay, you know.”

“What’s okay?” I ask as he falls into step with me. “Being jealous. It’s pretty cute. Besides, you only need to ask, and I can be all yours.” Graham winks, slipping a folded-up piece of paper and a lollipop into my hand. My face flushes as my grin grows, staring at the paper that is undoubtedly another love note. I look up, surprised that Graham is still there, watching my reaction. I thought he would’ve headed to class. I open my mouth to say something but Zack, a guy from the wrestling team, comes up behind Graham and wraps his arms around Graham’s neck. Graham reacts on instinct, the training he had from junior high and ninth-grade wrestling kicking in. Graham grabs his arm,loosening his hold, pulling Zack off balance. In a fluid motion, Graham ducks his head and reverses on Zack, with him ending up in a headlock instead of Graham being in one. Graham releases him, and they laugh together while they do some kind of man handshake. Zack glances at me, smiles, and nods before turning back to Graham. I start to walk to my class, but Graham grabs my wrist, keeping me here. He pulls out his phone and after a second, my phone buzzes.

Graham

Wait. I want to walk you to class.

I smile at my phone before tucking it into my pocket and nodding at Graham. Graham smiles at me and turns his attention to Zack,

“Dang, bro. We could really use you this year with moves like that!”

Graham shakes his head, “Nah, bro. Been there, done that. It’s not for me.”

“Not for you?” Zack scoffs. “You were well on your way to state when you quit freshman year. How could it not be for you?”

Graham rubs the back on his neck. “Yeah. It’s a lot, ya know? I thought I liked it, but then I realized I don’t. It took hours every week and honestly, it was pretty boring. So I quit. Might as well give someone who wants it the time on the mat.”

Zack shakes his head before dropping his chin to his chest. “Man. I’d kill for your skill, and you just walk away like it’s nothing! After almost three years! And not just wrestling. I remember playing rec soccer, baseball, football, and basketball with you. You were always the best.”

Graham throws his head back in laughter while I look at him, my heart sinking in my chest.

“I am pretty awesome at almost everything,” Graham says, flexing his chest in anticipation of Zack hitting him. I stand therewatching Graham and Zack mess around, joking and teasing about sports and how Grahamdoesn’t care. I remember him playing football when he was a kid. Well, really any sport that Uncle Kai could enroll Graham in, he played. And he was good. He worked hard at first, and every time—every single time—he quit. And if Zack isn’t exaggerating, he wrestled for a long time. He just gave it up.Just like he’ll give up on us.That voice in my head reminds me to shore up my defenses. I watch Zack and Graham hit each other’s chests to say goodbye, and Zack nods at me before running off to class. Graham turns, a smile on his face, before he makes eye contact. He must see what I am thinking on my face because he tenses up.

“Jules? You okay?”

I stare at him for a few seconds before shaking my head. Now isn’t the time. Besides, it won’t matter. I know people try to convince him to stick to stuff, but it clearly doesn’t work. I’m not willing to waste my breath. “I’m fine. Good. I’ll see ya later.” I grasp my backpack straps with both hands, dropping the lollipop to the floor and crushing the note.

“Hey, be careful with these. They’re important. Just like you.” Graham winks and I cock my head in disbelief before walking away.

***

Graham

“Okay. Here’s the plan. There’s that old mattress in the garage my mom said I could use. So, we’ll go get new sheets and cover the mattress with blankets and pillows. You’ll drop her off at Fletcher’s field where the truck will be waiting. You’ll drive us around, listening to ‘A Whole New World’, then once we pass the tree line, park and we’ll watch the comet shower! Boom. Magic carpet ride. See the lights. Check and check. And of course, we’llhave lollipops and hot chocolate. Magical, right?” I explain to Nathan. We’re sitting in his front yard, and I’m gesturing as if he can see into my garage.

“So magical.” Nathan deadpans. “Dude. I just need ear plugs. I don’t want to hear your date. I’ll go to the store. I’ll drive. You’ll watch the sky. I’ll drive back to my car, and that’s it. You can bring Julia home in the truck.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to bring Chloe?” I waggle my eyebrows at Nathan. “I bet she’s available. Oo, or Josie.”

“Sure. I’ll ask her. I bet that Julia would love to have someone to focus on besides you.”

“Never mind. I take it back. Just me and her. And you. But don’t talk to her, and no matter what, don’t ask Chloe or Josie. I was joking.”

“Graham. I would never ask Chloe out. You know that. Just, no,” Nathan says, swinging his keys on his finger as he heads towards his car. “Let’s go. Believe it or not, I don’t actually want to spend my whole Saturday planning a romantic date for my sister.”

“And that is why you’re my best friend!” I wrap my arm around Nathan’s shoulder, giving him a goofy hug. I am kidding, but Nathan’s willingness to do whatever he can to help out a friend is incredible. I will never take that for granted. “Also, now’s not the time because it’s about me, but don’t think I didn’t notice that you didn’t say you’d never ask out Josie. We are definitely circling back to that later.” My smile grows as his face flushes a light pink. Nathan shakes his head and goes back to getting things ready, pretending as if I didn’t say anything. We spend the next hour getting everything set up, and by the time we are done, I’m bouncing with excitement.

“Nathan. I get it, it’s weird for you, but can you believe that Julia is finally going out with me? I feel like I have been waitingfor this my whole life. Although, is she okay? We had a weird thing at lunch this week.”

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