Page 13 of Anytime I Want

Nathan narrows his eyes in thought. “I didn’t notice anything. But we don’t talk about you all the time.” I catch Nathan’s hand before he makes contact with my shoulder. “Let’s go to your house and play PlayStation. Or watch a baseball game. The Diamondbacks are playing. We can bet on the winner.”

“You and your bets, bro.” I smirk, shaking my head.

“Hey, you didn’t seem to mind that much last time,” Nathan jokes.

“You’re right. What are the terms?”

***

Julia

“Chloe. A date with Graham.” I clasp my hands and look in my bedroom mirror before spinning around to face her. “I wish I knew what we were doing. All he told me was—”

“A magical adventure and dress for outside. I know. You’ve only told me a million times. You look great. Ready for a magical outdoor date,” Chloe promises. I look down at my outfit one more time: mid-length shorts, a green shirt to complement my eyes that hits right at the waist of my shorts, a flannel shirt tied at my waist, and white canvas shoes. Nothing overly fancy but I feel cute, which seems most important. I turn around to critique my hair in the mirror one more time. Chloe curled my blond hair into perfect beachy waves and used her makeup magic to make my eyes pop. I take a deep breath and smile. “I think I’m ready.”

“Do you have gum? Or mints?” Chloe asks absently, staring at her phone.

“What? Why would I need that?” I cover my flushed cheeks with my hands. Chloe shakes her head in surprise, clearly checking back into the conversation.

“In case he kisses you, duh. He’s been wanting to kiss you for, what, nine years? And don’t try to tell me that you don’t feel the same way.”

I stare into space, remembering when I was nine, just how badly I wanted that kiss.

***

Seven Years Earlier

“One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississ—Ahh!” I scream under my blanket as the lightning flashes. “I am nine years old. I can handle a little thunderstorm,” I say. “It’s just a storm. It’s just a storm.” Thunder crashes outside so loudly, it shakes the entire house. It woke me up out of a dead sleep. I must’ve fallen asleep while I was reading. “AHH! It’s not just a storm. It’s not just a storm.” I wrap myself up in my blanket and run for the door. I hate these monsoons that come out of nowhere. It’s three o’clock in the afternoon, and the sky is covered with clouds and dust that makes it look more like 10 p.m. “Mom! Mom!!” I yell as I throw my door open, running into the hallway. A small pair of arms catches me right before I crash into someone.

“Julia? Julia! Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Graham says, his eyes taking in the tears running down my cheeks.

“Nothing. Nothing. I just need to talk to my mom,” I say as I frantically wipe the tears from my face.

“She took Nate to the store. Mom and I were here visiting and stayed to be with you while they were gone. Your mom just called to say they are waiting out the storm." He pulls me to the kitchen. "Come on, my mom is making cookies.”

“Chocolate chip?” I ask hopefully.

“Of course. What other kind is there?”

“Nathan likes snickerdoodles.”

“Well, that’s fine. Those are good too but nothing compares to a good chocolate chip cookie. They make everything better! And my mom makes the best ones! Let’s go downstairs and watch the storm through the back door.” Graham grabs my hand and starts tugging me towards the door.

He’s holding my hand, I think, letting him pull me along.

“Wait!” I say, as another thunder crashes with lightning flashing at almost the same time. “I… I’m…”

“What? What’s wrong?” Graham asks when I don't finish.

“Uhm. I’m scared. Where’s my mom again? She was here when I fell asleep.”

“She had to take Nathan to the store.” Graham says distractedly as he glances around the hallway. Suddenly his eyes light up. “I know! Let’s build a fort around the TV. We can turn it up really loud and watch whatever you want. And when the cookies are done, I’ll bring you some!”

I smile, tears filling my eyes again. “That sounds awesome. Thank you.” I fling my arms around his neck and hold on tight. I feel his lips lightly brush my hair and pull back in surprise. Graham’s face turns red as he glances at my lips.Is he going to kiss me?I think excitedly. He starts to lean forward, closing his eyes and puckering his lips.

“Graham!” his mom calls. “Cookies are ready!” Graham jumps back, letting go of me, spinning on his heel to head down the stairs.

“Let’s go.” Graham yells a little too loudly. “We have a fort to make and cookies to eat!” he says, sprinting down the stairs. I stand there staring for a second, thinking about what could’ve been my first kiss. Lightning flashes, brightening the hallway and scaring me into action, following him down the stairs.