Page 7 of Meet Jon, the Billionaire

I felt my stomach. I was hungry, but I’d learned to ignore anything that got in the way of my goals, including physical discomfort. “Fair enough.”

I bit into the sandwich and gestured at the files on my computer. “Acme Bread has been phoning it in for the past two decades, Darwin. Their fiscal strategy is a cut and paste of the previous year with minimum changes. They’ve been getting by on market presence and brand recognition alone.”

“If anyone can straighten them out, I would imagine that it’s you.” Darwin opened up a bottle of something bubbly and set it in front of me.

“What in the world is this?” I sniffed the bottle, and found it had an oddly acrid aroma, with a hint of ginger.

“Kombucha,” Darwin declared. “It will help keep your gut in shape.”

“My gut is in fantastic shape.”

“I mean on the inside, Jonathon.” He rolled his eyes. “Drink it. You’ve been eating erratically for too long and this will help keep your gut in balance.”

“If you say so, Darwin.” I tried it and grimaced. “It tastes horrible.”

“Unfortunate, as I can’t leave until you’ve finished every last drop.”

I gave him a look. “Sometimes I wonder which one of us is in charge, Darwin.”

“Don’t be silly, Jonathon. You are, of course. But since you pay me to take care of you, and I’m in charge of your health, sometimes I outrank you.”

I tilted my head to the side. “That didn’t make any sense.”

“It will one day, when you’re truly wise. Eat up. Drink up.”

I obliged, enjoying the sandwich but cursing the kombucha. I flicked through the files on my screen one by one, scanning more than reading. When I take over a new company, the first thing I want to do is create some value for the investors, so they feel good about the new leadership. To that end, I usually try to expand a little. Nothing says business is booming better than building new locations.

Brick and mortar was still essential to a business like Acme. I perused the files, searching for any good locations which had already been scouted. I figured I would start there and then do my own search.

Most of the locales were less than primo. One of them was even in a shopping mall. A mall. I deleted that entire file. Then I came across something that made me stop cold. Right there, in New York City, was a primo location.

“Check this out, Darwin,” I said, finishing off the last of my sandwich though half the bottle of kombucha remained. “A corner lot, right in the heart of gentrified Brooklyn.”

“Indeed.”

“Yeah, you know what the first three rules of opening a new business are, right?”

“I believe that would be location, location, location, sir. For example, my location will be right here until you finish that kombucha.”

I took another swig and gasped at the foul taste. “Can’t they make this stuff taste any better?”

“You could always acquire the company and make them do so,” Darwin suggested helpfully.

“Don’t tempt me. It wouldn’t be wise to buy another business this soon, anyway. Not until I get this one to turn a profit. But I digress.” I peered at the lot, zooming in on the dimensions and the square footage. “My god… this location is like a license to print money.”

“I would imagine that you have sufficient capital to acquire it, yes?”

“Capital isn’t the issue, apparently.” My smile turned into a frown. “It looks like there are more than twenty different interested parties vying to be the one to purchase that lot from the city.”

“Well, a little competition just makes it more fun.”

“True enough, but I don’t see a lot of competition here… the only problem is, the city zoning board is known to be somewhat biased toward big-box retailers, and unfortunately, that’s us.”

“So you’re saying that there’s no hope?”

I grimaced. “I’ll never say that there’s no hope, Darwin, but… it’s going to be like ice skating uphill. In fact, one of the other bidders is a legacy business that’s been on that street for forty years.”

“I see.”

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