Page 63 of Behind the Bars

“Yes,Elliott?”

“Can I leavenow?”

“Yes,Elliott.”

* * *

Isatin the courtroom the day Todd was found guilty. I sat in the courtroom as his mother howled out in anguish. I sat in the courtroom as Todd burst into tears. I sat in the courtroom as his brother’s face went pale. I sat in the courtroom as his father stayed completelystill.

The sentence: life in prison with no chance forparole.

Todd Clause would spend his life behind bars for the murder of my sister, and the world called itjustice.

There’s no such thing asjustice.

There was no justice in that courtroom, because as Todd walked away to rot in a cell, Katie was still gone. As Todd’s lungs rose and fell, Katlyn Rae Adams had no more inhales to meet or exhales torelease.

I studied their pain and their suffering, but it meant nothing tome.

That case wasn’t a victory, it wasn’t awin.

There was no such thing as justice when it came to the murder of an innocent person. There was simply a hollowness that lived within each person who had to say goodbye toosoon.

Yes, Todd Clause would spend his life locked away, but that didn’t bring me any peace of mind. There would never be peace, because my sister was still dead, and it was all because ofme.

Subject: Where are you?

Eli,

I’m worried. Where areyou?

-Jazz

Subject: I don’t know

Eli,

I don’t know what happened. Are you busy? Are you mad at me? Did something go wrong? I just cannot imagine anything that would make you stop talking to me. I just want to know if you’re okay, and if you’re not, let me help. I’ll do anything. I miss you, Eli. I miss you so much, and not hearing from you is making me sick. I don’t know what todo.

If I don’t hear from you, I’ll leave you alone after this. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll goaway.

Please let me hear fromyou.

-Jazz

Also, I still loveyou.

No matterwhat.

Chapter Eighteen

Elliott

Each dayI stared at Jasmine’s emails, unable to reply. The cursor blinked and blinked, but I couldn’t bring myself to type out the words to tell her Katie was gone. I also couldn’t bring myself to a place where I would open myself up to being comforted byJasmine.

Even from four thousand, six hundred, and twenty-four miles away, I knew she’d make me feel better, and I didn’t wantthat.

There was a burning that had been weighing in my gut since Katie had passed away, and I wanted it to stay there as a reminder that I was responsible for herdeath.

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