Page 62 of Behind the Bars

I’d stay with her until I knew she wassleeping.

Then, I’d fall asleep right there beside her, because I selfishly didn’t want to bealone.

Subject: Hey

Eli,

I haven’t heard from you. Are you okay? My mom is making me perform in places I’d never want to perform. I’m trying to do what you said and follow my heart, but it’s like she can’t hear how itbeats.

Why haven’t you written? I miss you, and I’m starting toworry.

-Jazz

Also, I loveyou.

Chapter Seventeen

Elliott

School was different than before.No one bullied meanymore.

Principal Williams stepped down from his position. Mom said it was because of his guilty conscience for not doing anything to stop what hadhappened.

When I walked down the hallways, everyone’s eyes darted away from me. Even teachers had a hard time looking my way. It was as if I were finally invisible, the way I’d always dreamed of being. The only person who could see me was Jason, and he wouldn’t leave me alone even when I asked him to goaway.

He took his best friend duties seriously and checked in on me every second of everyday.

“You okay, Elliott?” he’dask.

“I’m okay,” I’dreply.

“Lying?” he’dask.

“Lying,” I’dreply.

The truth was, I’d never be okay. I’d never be the same person I’d been, because I hadn’t been strong enough to save mysister.

Mom forced me to see the guidance counselor, which I hated more than words could express. Mr. Yang sat in front of me, giving me the same kind of broken smiles everyone had been givingme.

“What you went through must have been tough, Elliott,” he toldme.

“Not really. Death is sh-shockingly easy to deal with,” I replied sarcastically. In my mind, I knew I should apologize, but in my heart, I just didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care about anything anymore. My sister was dead, and it was all because of me. She wouldn’t have been in that alleyway if it wasn’t for me. She wouldn’t have been choked to death if I wasn’t a loser. It was pretty much my hands that had been wrapped around her neck, and I’d spend the rest of my life imprisoned by thatguilt.

“I got you some pamphlets,” Mr. Yang said, handing me some folded sheets ofpaper.

Letting Go and Holding ontoMemories

The Facts aboutDeath

How to Deal with theUnthinkable

The Seven Stages ofGrief

“I think those will help,” he toldme.

Right, because mourning was resolved withpamphlets.

“Mr.Yang?”

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