Page 18 of Fake It True

“I tend to think secrets out themselves. Eventually,” Leo offered, his tone low and clear. “I mean, obviously the details are completely different, but it’s like my daughter. I wish it had happened differently, but I’m pretty confident I eventually would’ve found out about Dora one way or another. With the Internet, it’s really hard for secrets to stay secret.”

I savored the feel of his thumb idly tracing over the back of my hand. Our therapist was quiet for a beat before she offered, “When I do family therapy, I always tell families if they have any secrets, they’d better be prepared to discover that what they think is a secret isn’t actually. It’s not so much that people know all the details. But when people care about each other, they know when something is being hidden on some level. If that makes any sense. Separate from legal consequences for Nathaniel, you might want to think about how to talk with your parents. If they found out another way, their sense of devastation may run deeper because they will have unintentionally taken part in caring about someone whose actions contributed to Callie’s death.”

Once again, I didn’t realize tears were splashing onto my cheeks until Leo leaned over and fetched the entire box of tissues before handing me a fistful of them.

That was the kicker. My parents were close to someone who made Callie’s addiction worse. I knew eventually I would need to tell them the whole story. I just didn’t know how to go about doing that.

“My concern for you is this will weigh on you until you let them know everything,” Delaney said.

“I know. That’s why it’s so hard. I need to figure out how to tell them.”

Leo squeezed my hand. I looked up into his eyes before turning back to Delaney. “Thank you,” I said softly.

Her brows hitched up in question.

“For listening, for making space so that I could talk about all of that,” I added.

She looked between us. “Like I told you back when we first met, not every therapist is for everybody, but I’m glad you feel comfortable with me. If that’s all I manage to do, I consider that a success.”

I took a shaky breath and dabbed at my eyes. I knew our time was almost up. Rather than waiting for her to figure out how to gracefully exit this conversation, I piped up, “Don’t worry about putting me back together. This isn’t a new story. It’s been a relief just to talk about it.”

She nodded. “You have each other. It’s obvious you’re both supportive of each other. I would just remind you, as I do in every session, when something painful comes up, be gentle with yourself.”

We scheduled our next appointment. When Delaney was entering it into her calendar, I glanced over at Leo. It was no more than a few seconds, but when my gaze snagged his, the moment felt intensely emotional.

Chapter Fourteen

LEO

That afternoon, I went to the station to work out. My mind was still reeling from our therapy appointment. The pain in Casey’s voice had felt like knives dragging across my heart. I’d wanted to do more than hold her hand. I’d wanted to wrap her close and comfort her and protect her from all that pain.

I was wrestling with anger toward the man who had caused her so much pain. While the details were so different, I understood what it was like to lose someone that way and the muddied sadness that came with it.

The news was filled with stories about the scourge of society that opiates had become. Many people understood it on a deeply personal level.

I was leaving the workout room and encountered Graham walking down the hall just as the alert sounded in the station. “Headed out to a training exercise. It’s an actual fire, but it’s small. Ready to roll?” he asked.

“Of course.” I hustled into the locker room and grabbed my gear. “What’s the deal?” I asked as I fell into step beside Hudson and Parker a few minutes later.

“It’s an old abandoned hunting cabin on the outskirts of town. Not sure how, but it caught fire. It’s in an area with a lot ofdead spruce from the spruce bark beetle kill. The town crew is in Anchorage today,” Hudson explained.

I texted my parents on the way, letting them know I might be later than usual tonight. Hunting cabins were scattered all over Alaska. Many of them were actively in use, but there were also plenty that had been abandoned. This one might as well have been a pile of sticks. Unfortunately, someone left behind two rusted tanks of propane. Whatever set off the explosion had created a fast-burning fire.

We hustled that afternoon, setting a perimeter and getting most of the fire under control within a few hours. Part of the crew was going to stay back to monitor the fire for the night. We had to chase off a brown bear coming out of hibernation on the way out.

Bears were hungry during Alaska's spring. “Damn, he’s hungry,” I said to Parker, eyeing the bear’s lean form.

“He’s got his eye on them.” Parker gestured toward a moose and a pair of calves in the distance.

“Aw, hell,” I muttered.

“Looks like mama moose is headed straight toward town, which is probably for the best,” Parker replied.

Aside from the fact that moose were plentiful in Alaska, the females often stayed close to towns when they had calves to protect. Bears were less likely to go where there were more people so they were safer. We guided the bear a few miles away from the fire and from town with two of our trucks.

When I got home a few hours later, I stopped at my parents’ house first. My parents had a bedroom here for Dora. My dad liked to watch the news while Dora would curl up in the recliner with my parents’ elderly mutt.

My dad waggled his brows as he looked up from his chair. “The news usually puts her to sleep.”

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