Page 17 of Fake It True

I yelped, looking around wildly and almost tumbling off the sofa out of panic when I heard Leo’s voice.

“Leo?” I squeaked.

“Yeah. You called me.” I could hear the laughter lacing his voice.

My cheeks were burning up. Well,allof me was on fire.

“I think I hit the call button by accident. You know how the text window has the buttons where you can call and—” I started babbling before I snapped my mouth shut. On the heels of a deep breath, I added, “I said “fuck my life” because I was embarrassed that I said I’d love that. If you didn’t know, I’m not cool. I’m not coolat all. I’m not quick or witty or anything like that, especially not over text.”

Leo was silent for a moment before he replied, “Casey, I didn’t ask you out to dinner because I thought you were cool. I like you. It’s as simple as that.”

When he chuckled, the sound spun around my heart, soothing the anxiety rising fast inside. “Well, that’s a relief.”

“I’m just relieved you weren’t saying “fuck my life” because I asked you out to dinner again.”

“Definitely not,” I said flatly. I sat there, holding the phone to my ear, smiling and feeling silly and safe.

“So, about dinner?” Leo prompted.

“I’d love that. Really.”

“And, remind me when our therapy appointment is,” he prompted. “I forgot to write it down.”

For a second, I wanted to tell him it wasn’t necessary for him to go anymore. I knew my parents could never find out whether I had a fiancé and if we were going to therapy. But I actually liked those appointments with him.

For once in my life, I didn’t overthink something. “It’s Tuesday in the afternoon at two.”

“I’ll see you there.”

I didn’t really remember what else we said. It was only later that night when I was falling asleep that I realized I had completely forgotten to dwell on my anxiety around Nathaniel and what happened to my sister.

Chapter Thirteen

CASEY

“Callie was a year older than me. Before she died, I knew something was wrong. She started dating this guy and the next thing I knew she was being really squirrely. She ended up breaking up with that guy. Even though I wasn’t hearing from her as often as I usually did, I hoped for the best. I couldn’t expect her to report back to me all the time. When I went to visit her one weekend, I found out she was dating Nathaniel. Nathaniel’s parents are really close to ours. We grew up together. To be honest, I never trusted him, he always came off as selfish to me. He’s been a part of our family life for years. We did holidays together, dinners, and so on.” I circled my hand in the air. “I started getting really worried about Callie. She played soccer in college and injured her knee pretty badly. That’s when she got hooked on pain meds. When the doctor stopped prescribing them, she found them in other places. The weekend before she died, she told me about that. She was embarrassed and said she wanted to get help, but she made me promise not to tell our parents.” My words came out in a flat tone. I kept the pain of my grief locked up so tight, I felt compressed inside whenever I tried to talk about it.

I took a slow breath. “It was too late. I didn’t know that Nathaniel and another guy were her dealers. They were giving her stronger and stronger stuff. The more addicted somebody is, the more money they spend.” I hadn’t realized tears were rolling down my cheeks until our therapist gently nudged a box of tissues closer to me on the coffee table. Leo was holding my hand, and his thumb brushed in a soothing stroke across the back of it.

“The hospital said it was an accidental overdose. They said Callie could’ve been saved if she’d had emergency medical treatment sooner, and they asked me if I knew where she got her drugs. I know, and I’m pretty sure if I do anything about it it’ll tear my family apart.”

I hadn’t walked into this office today intending to dump the whole story about my sister, but I felt safe with Leo. When Delaney asked me something, everything started to spill out. This was the first time I’d outlined the whole story to anyone. Up to this point, I’d collected the details and kept them tucked away in my own thoughts. The few times I’d spoken of the events, I’d kept the details vague.

I took another breath, letting it out in a deep sigh that felt like it came from the bottom of my feet. Delaney’s gaze was kind. “I’m so sorry,” she said softly. “I realize those words often feel inadequate, but sometimes all we can do is bear witness. Your pain and your loss are real.”

Leo’s voice was gruff when he said, “I’m sorry.”

Every so often, I wondered how obvious it was that Leo and I were telling our stories to each other for the first time. And yet, we were being honest. It was a testament to our therapist’s skills that she had created this space of safety, even though it had started out not-so-honestly for us. Maybe she sensed that, but I found it didn’t really matter to me anymore.

Delaney glanced between Leo and me, adding, “You’ve both experienced a loss due to accidental overdoses. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you those are shockingly common these days.”

“Oh, I’ve looked up the stats,” Leo offered. “It’s devastating.”

Delaney nodded before bringing her attention back to me. I clung to Leo’s hand like a lifeline. You would’ve had to pry my grip free from his at this point. His strong presence was calming and soothing.

“You’re not asking me, but I imagine you’re wondering what you should do about what you know,” she prompted.

My heart ached with every beat whenever I thought about what happened to Callie. “I don’t know how to prove Nathaniel’s involvement. I don’t even know if it’s worth trying.”

---