Page 139 of Sumanika

I knew I’d just saved her and put the vermilion in her hair to protect her. That didn’t mean she had to be with me.

Oh God!

Please, make me forget everything; I’m begging you.

I took a deep breath, finished my bath, and changed into fresh clothes. I had already hurt her enough; I should have let her be happy and left her alone to live her life. She didn’t need me, and she had made no commitments.

I couldn’t keep her against my will. I had to move on, for both our sakes.

I returned to my bedroom and gathered some papers and an inkpot to lay out the plan for Mehrangarh.

Stepping into the reading room, I spread the map of Mehrangarh wide on the table.

I stared blankly at it, unable to comprehend how we could lead the war and disrupt the invaders’plan without harming anyone. They would cross the river and approach Mehrangarh, where their cannons awaited them. We had to contend with three challenges: the cannons, the enemy soldiers, and the uninvited problem.

I sighed deeply and leaned over the table to gaze at the image of the mountains, while the vision of the empty underground water channel blurred my thoughts.

However, my mind seemed too preoccupied with Suman.

I shook my head. She didn’t need me. I reminded myself that I had to focus on the war. I couldn’t jeopardize everyone’s lives just because I felt hurt.

I didn’t know, but she said she wouldn’t judge me. I understood her pain; no wife would want her husband’s past to be like that. Yet, our marriage didn’t unfold in wonderful ways. It wasn’t even a complete marriage.

"Agastya,"

A sudden, girlish voice caught my attention, causing me to furrow my brows in confusion. At that moment, my mind recognized it immediately.

Rashmika.

I immediately rolled the map, hearing the anklet bells. Panicking, I hurried out of the reading room and stood in front of her.

“Hey,” I said, and she knitted her brows in confusion.

“Why are you panting?” she asked, and I narrowed my brows, trying to act normal.

"Oh, I was just masturbating," I chuckled, and she rolled her eyes and slapped my chest before turning away and sitting on the couch.

"What happened?" I asked, walking and taking a seat beside her.

"Everything is falling apart, Agastya," she unfolded.

"What happened? Is everything okay?" I dared, and she suddenly burst into tears.“I don’t know. It’s getting complicated, and I feel hurt,” she sobbed, covering her face.

I gritted my teeth, wrapping my arms around her shoulder. "Did you two fight about something?"

She hiccuped and nodded.

"About what?"

She lifted her tearful gaze and looked at me.“I told her everything about our plan regarding life, and she said she doesn’t trust me. I don’t know what to do. She keeps asking me why I’m getting married to you, and she isn’t even trying to understand.”

I sighed deeply, asking, "What did you tell her about us?"

She washed her cheeks, sobbing.“I told her we have nothing romantic between us. I’m marrying you to be closer to her. But she asked how she would know you wouldn’t touch me. She said we could both fool her. I mean, why on earth would I fool her? She can’t see what I’m doing to stay close to her. All she cares about is herself,” she whispered through her tears, and I couldn’t help but rub her arm gently.

“Hey, she will understand. She’s different; she can’t grasp what you’re experiencing. The pressure from your family, your father, and brothers. She needs to trust you,” I said, and she shook her head.

“Yes, that’s what I was telling her. I told her to trust me because that’s the only way I could stay here in this Kingdom, and I didn’t know how to express just how much I loved her. She’s starting to doubt me. Tell me, what other option do I really have? Will my parents ever let me stay in Suryagarh without getting married? Or will they allow me to remain in Mehrangarh without tying the knot? You know how these men are. No one would understand if I married someone else. You got me; you understood what I was going through and agreed to this wedding to help me, even knowing we wouldn’t have anything between us. But she thinks I will forget her once I’m married. I don’t know, Agastya. Sometimes, it feels like no matter how much you do for someone, it’s never enough,” she said, and I didn’t know what to say. Well, being a girl, she had feelings for another girl and couldn’t tell anyone about it. As good friends, she confided in me, and that’s where we found ourselves. At first, she tried to act childish in front of her parents to hide her disinterest in the marriage.

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