Page 47 of Judas

He loved her so much that losing her made him want to burn his own world to the ground.

He loved her so much that she was finally able to love herself, just as she was.

Drunk or not, she wanted to tell him how much he had brought to her life. She needed him to understand how truly revolutionary he had been in her world. Carrying his now ready coffee to him waiting on the couch, she practiced how she was going to express all of this to him. When she rounded the corner of the couch she stared down at the beautiful man that loved her and found him slumped over on his side, mouth hanging wide open with a little bit of drool pooling on the cushion beneath his head as a soft snore rumbled from his chest.

For a long moment, she just stood over him watching him sleep, then sighed, “Get some sleep you crazy fool.” She drapedthe blanket from the back of the couch over his comatose body and leaned down to gently kiss his temple, “I love you more than words can say.” She sipped the coffee that was meant for him and wandered back to the kitchen while her soulmate snored behind her.

Chapter thirty-four

Judas suddenly opened his eyes wide and sat up on the couch.

Eliza.

He was certain she had been here. Had he dreamed of her? Judas rolled to his side and smelled the pillow his head had been resting on, the sweet jasmine of her perfume still lingered on the fabric. Then he was hit with both the smell of coffee and bleach.

It was real. She was here. She’d come back.

The joy in his soul propelled him from the couch and he turned to face the kitchen. He appraised the space around him and saw that it sparkled and gleamed as if the last few days had never happened. All the remains of his mental breakdown had been erased and the smell of coffee lingered as he entered the kitchen space. He tried to mentally count the messes she must’ve cleaned up for him and his stomach plummeted. He was terribly mortified that she had to see him in that state.That she’d had to clean up his messes that were of his own making. His head fellinto his hands as he let the humiliation wash over him. He did not deserve her. Never had and never would.

But she came back anyway. He knew it. The rest of his memories may be fuzzy around the edges but he knew he saw her face and she was the only person that would willingly put in all that work to put his home back together.

He rushed to the bedroom, peering inside. Sleeping beneath his sheets was the only woman who had ever made his continued existence a gift. His heart swelled with gratitude to see her in his space again.

He didn’twant to wake her but he had to be near her. He was certain he would crumble to pieces if he wasn't. He slowly approached the bed and gently sat by her side.

As carefully as he could, Judas grazed his fingers across her cheek and whispered, “You, my Eliza, are the greatest gift I have ever been given. You alone have made all the years of solitude worth it. I promise you, I will never stop proving my worth to you.”

She smiled as her eyelids fluttered open. Turning to face him, she took his hand from her face to hold it in her own.

Complete and total devotion shone from his eyes as he looked down at her, “I didn’t mean to wake you, my love.”

“I’m glad you did,” she said, her voice husky from sleep. “Are you feeling better this morning?”

He broke their eye contact glancing toward the floor, “I am feeling grateful to have you here, but I’m also feeling very embarrassed. I’m sorry you had to see me like that. I’m sorry you had to clean up my mess.”

Sitting up, she took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her, “It’s okay to not be perfect all the time. You might be some kind of biblical immortal that I’m sure has a grand purpose in this world, but you’re also still a human. You’re allowed to act like one.”

"I've been in a dark place without you," he whispered.

It was something in his voice that made her pause. Maybe it was the in way he said the work dark or she could've been reading into it, but for a split second, her blood ran cold. "Judas, what do you mean?"

Shaking off her concern, he forced a smile, "Nothing…my choices were pretty bad the last few days, but they could have been worse."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here. And for everything…I haven't exactly been myself either. I know you were just looking out for me," she replied.

Her words warmed him from the inside out. He leaned forward and laid his lips against hers. Pressing his forehead against hers, he whispered, “Thank you for loving me.”

“Right back at ya, baby,” she replied with a sleepy smile as she leaned into a long, deep kiss. She gazed into his face, "Question… um… I saw all the bottles and I need to know… Were those all full?"

His cheeks flushed and he nodded in acknowledgment.

Her eyes grew into huge saucers, "Holy shit, Judas. That's massively impressive and completely terrifying all at once. Just exactly how much alcohol does it take to make an immortal drunk?"

Her words were light hearted and teasing. It made him chuckle and he knew that they were going to be okay.

"Copious amounts," he answered.

She giggled in response and felt her heart swell to know that she was still welcome in his life. Her time here in his apartment had allowed her to finally sleep for a solid chunk of time. She had been able to clear her head and rest her heart. His presence was sanctuary.

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