I will my breathing to steady, but it’s nearly impossible. With everymemory, my anxiety ratchets up. The scratchy sheets on hospital beds. The loud noises. Whispered discussions ofwhat if?andwe can’t tell her. Surgeries. So many surgeries. Flowers. I still hate the smell of them.
“How about this? I’ll come with you and have my teeth cleaned first. Then, if you’re comfortable with it, you’ll get yours done too.”
Josie flips her head so quickly, the braid Tyler is working on falls free. “You’d do that?”
His expression goes soft, his blue eyes full of more warmth than I’ve ever seen. “Of course I would. You are one of the most important people in the world to me. Don’t ever be afraid to tell me when something scares you. I’ll always do everything I can to help make it better.”
Josie studies him, her brow furrowed, as if she’s trying to make sense of his words. I get it. I’m right there with her. I feel the same way Tyler does, but even so, to hear those words so earnestly from him? To know he cares about her, that she’s that important, is everything for a girl like Josie. A girl like me. “You’d do the same for Scarlett?”
Tyler nods. “And Bray and Ava. The four of you are my world.”
With tears welling in my eyes and a lancing pain in my chest, I fall back against the wall. Any chance I had of protecting my heart just went out the window. This man owns me. And I have a feeling he always will.
THIRTY-TWO
TYLER
By the glowof the night light, I check in on Scarlett. She’s sleeping soundly, her favorite pink bear smooshed against her face. I move the bear a little and brush my fingers through her silky blond hair. With a scrunch of her nose, she shifts, turning so her other cheek is pressed to the mattress, but she doesn’t wake. I watch her for a few more minutes, wishing I had unlimited time with each of my kids.
It took a while to get Josie down since she’s nervous about the dentist tomorrow, but she’s finally asleep, so when I leave Scarlett’s room, I knock on Bray’s door to say good night.
“Come in,” he calls from his bed. He’s on his phone, which is pretty typical lately, but he drops it when I step inside.
“Ready for your game this weekend?”
“You mean games,” he teases. He likes to point out that he plays a lot of back-to-back games, whereas we professionals need longer breaks between them. He’s not wrong. The older I get, the harder it is to push myself the way I did when I was his age.
“Yeah. That’s what I meant.”
He laughs, his dark shaggy hair brushing his forehead. “Kyle’s dad said I could sleep over Friday night so Ava doesn’t have to wake up early on Saturday to drive me to the arena.”
It’s hard not to smile at that. It’s taken a little whilefor Brayden to settle in at his new school, but he’s finally making friends. It helps that one of his teammates is in class with him. It’s just what he needs and exactly why I begged Trish to let me keep him in this school even after she gets out of rehab. Which should be any day now, actually. Fuck, I’ve got to follow up on that. Things are going so well here. The last thing we need is an unpredictable Trisha to rock the boat. If only I could control every aspect of these kids’ lives.
It’s exhausting, waiting for the court to decide whether I’m a suitable choice. Waiting for Trish to decide whether she wants to be a parent. Hell, even waiting for my wife to finally look at me like she trusts me. Because today in Madi’s office, she appeared ready to run. Ready to distance herself again, even while we both knew she could still feel my touch between her thighs.
It’s going to take more than a few orgasms to prove to her that I’m not going anywhere. Lucky for both of us, I’m up for the fight.
“Awesome, Bray. I’ll call Kyle’s dad tomorrow and make sure everything is set for the weekend. Everything else good? You all caught up on your homework?”
With an easy smile, he leans back against his headboard and picks up his phone, practically dismissing me. “Yup, Daddy War. All my work is done. You can relax now. You’ve done your fatherly duties for the night.”
“Cut the shit,” I warn him. “You know I don’t consider any of this a duty. I like having you here, and if you’re happy here and want to stay, we can talk to your mom.”
His attitude softens, along with his posture. “I know. And I didn’t mean any disrespect.”
“I don’t feel disrespected. Just want you to know I love having you here. You aren’t an obligation. You’rewhyI like coming home. Why I have this home in the first place.”
“Pretty sure you love coming home now because of the redhead in your bed,” he taunts.
All I can do is laugh. “Yeah, I definitely like coming home to my wife. But she’s not the only one I look forward to seeing after traveling.” I tap on the doorframe as I walk out. “Night, Bray.”
“Night, Daddy War,” he hollers.
I temper my responding laugh as I shuffle down the quiet hallway. With everyone tucked in and Maria’s door shut, I allow myself to relax. In our bedroom, I find Ava sitting on my side of the bed in nothing but a towel, facing the window, her hair wet and her hands gripping the edge of the mattress. All that easiness drains from me instantly and is replaced with a heavy unease. “Everything okay?”
She doesn’t startle. She doesn’t even move. For a moment I think maybe she didn’t hear me. But then her raspy admission almost takes me out at the knees.
“No one has ever braided my hair.” She turns to face me, tears cascading down her face. They’re flowing freely, like she isn’t even aware of them. “I don’t know if anyone ever really loved me. Not the way you love Josie. Unconditionally. Without effort.”