Page 48 of Owning Nicci

Like—again—what the hell she’s doing in my bed.

“I wanted to thank you.” She slides up the bed, between my legs again, reaching for my stiff cock. “Yesterday was perfect. Having clothes again—” She bites her lip, and I have to force back a groan, thinking of how good those lips felt wrapped around me a moment ago. “I feel safer now. I felt safe again yesterday. I just wanted to show you that I appreciate it?—”

I grab her wrist before she can touch me, grappling with a dozen different emotions as I stare down at her.Why am I not letting her do this?It could be the shift in the power dynamic…I didn’t tell her to come in here and suck me off, she did it of her own free will, and without permission. It would be different if I’d told her that was what I wanted, in exchange for what I did for her yesterday.

This doesn’t feel like she’s my submissive. It feels like she’s my lover. And my instinct tells me that letting this go further is dangerous…for us both.

I could take control of the situation. I could take her into the playroom right now and have her thank me on my terms. But the moment I consider it, another wave of conflicting feelings washes through me—my cock jerking at the thought of having her in the playroom again, of spending my morning lazily taking my pleasure from her and punishing her for coming in here without permission. And yet, there's a strange feeling of discomfort at the idea of taking sexual favors from her in exchange for what I did yesterday.

The truth is, I didn’t do it for an exchange of favors. I agreed to it because I could see she was terrified at being kept naked in a house that now has multiple strange men walking around outside her room, and all I could think about was that man pinning her to the bed, on the verge of violating her before I shot him dead. I thought about all the men whom she had to submit to at the Gilded Lily, who took what they wanted from her, and for that moment, I didn’t see her as my possession. I saw her as a frightened woman in need of protection—and I wanted to do that for her.

I wanted to make her feel safe. And, to my surprise, I enjoyed spoiling her. I’d thought of her as a pretentious socialite before her fall from grace, but she didn’t seem like that when we were out yesterday. She seemed to genuinely enjoy picking out clothesand outfitting her new wardrobe, but she didn’t seem entitled. Maybe it’s just that she knew I could take it all away from her in an instant, but she didn’t seem as spoiled as I’d imagined her being in those circumstances.

It made me feel good, calling out that woman who talked down to her. Giving her back what was taken from her. I felt like her protector, her savior, like I was doing somethinggoodfor once. My brother would never have done any of that for her. And now, having her in my bed offering me sexual favors as thanks feels as if it cheapens it somehow. Like she’s reminding me that I should expect this from her.

Shouldn’t I?It’s not as if what I did yesterday was because I care for her. I was taking careofher, like a pet. Like something valuable that needs to be maintained. It had nothing to do with any kind of feelings I might have for her. Idon’thave feelings for her.

“Get out,” I snap, looking down at her wide blue eyes as I release her hand and bat it away. “I didn’t tell you to come in here,principessa. Go back to your room. You’re lucky I don’t punish you for this.”

The words come out harsh, my frustration over the confused tangle of emotions surging through me plain on my face. Nicci jerks back in surprise, a flash of hurt in her eyes as she recoils.

“I’m sorry, sir,” she says quickly, scrambling out of the bed. I see a glimpse of what’s beneath the silky pink nightgown as she slips off of the mattress—nothing at all, and my cock throbs, aching as I watch her go. She almost bolts for the door, and I can’t stop staring at her—a vision in pink silk and lace. I can see the points of her nipples where it clings to them, skimming over the angles of her body, and I almost get up from the bed and grab her. Desire surges through me, hot and thick, and she’s barely slammed the door behind her before my hand is wrapped around my cock.

I should go after her. Make sure she goes straight back to her room. I should reprimand her.

In a minute.I fall back against the pillows, my hand already stroking roughly along my length, and every thought in my head is filled with her.

When I come, I groan her name as I spill over my fingers.

18

NICCI

Nothing about that went the way I thought it would. I rush out of Savio’s room, tears beading on my eyelashes, and humiliation washes over me.

I was an idiot to think that would work, that it would give me back an ounce of power over him. That he’d realize I had snuck into his room, and let that go, just because I did it to please him. He’s made it clear, over and over, that he’s the one in control. It was stupid to think that yesterday might have changed even a fraction of that.

I rush down the hall to my room, wanting to be behind the closed door, alone. I’m so focused on getting back there, on shutting everything else out, that I almost run directly into the guard coming upstairs. I skid to a stop, about to go around him, but he puts out a hand to stop me.

“Are you alright?”

I hesitate. I have no idea if I’m supposed to talk to these men or not. Truthfully, I don’t really want to. I want to pretend that they’re not even here. They’re for my ‘safety’, according to Savio, but they don’t make me feel safe. They make me feel uncomfortable.

“I’m fine,” I say quickly. “I just need to go back to my room.”

His gaze sweeps over me, and my skin instantly prickles with discomfort. I’m suddenly very aware that I’m in only the babydoll nightgown that I bought yesterday, barefoot and naked underneath it, almost worse than being entirely naked. His gaze heats, full of a hungry lust that I know all too well, and I swallow hard as I start to move past him.

He doesn’t stop me. That’s a relief, at least, but my heart doesn’t stop pounding until I’m back in my room, with the door firmly closed behind me.

Savio doesn’t come to get me for training. He doesn’t come to my room at all. The guards alternate dropping off my breakfast and lunch. One of them is the leering guard from earlier—he lingers just a little too long as he sets down my lunch tray, looking at the leggings and sports bra that I’m wearing before he finally leaves. When I’m done eating, I wait a little while before finally assuming that Savio isn’t coming to get me at all today. I go through a workout of my own—running through crunches and pushups and drills in my room—until I’m sweaty and exhausted. I force myself not to think about the possibility that he’s angry enough with me to call off our deal—or that something else might have happened. I focus on one minute at a time. What’s right in front of me—the next pushup, the next routine, the next achievement. I keep going until I’m finished with my workout and I can go shower.

I go to bed early, not wanting to dwell on what happened this morning and Savio’s conspicuous absence all day. I sleep fitfully at first, drifting in and out, but when sleep finally takes me, I’m dragged down into a nightmare worse than any I’ve had in months.

I’m back at my old house, in my father’s mansion. I’m in his office, standing on the other side of his desk as he lectures me about my failure to keep Dimitri. About how I lost him toa nobody, a girl without money or influence, who can’t do the things for him that our family can. I hear myself explaining, over and over, how I tried my best. How he never wanted me. How I couldn’t even get him to go to bed with me, feeling my cheeks burn red at explaining that, of all things, to my father.

I hear the office door click open. I see my brother walking in, a smirk on his face. I see my father standing up, walking towards me, and I feel the sudden, hot crack of his palm against my cheek.

Maybe you need to be shown what men really want, Nicci. Maybe you need a different kind of lesson.

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