Page 10 of Where the Stars Heal

“That’s amazing. I’ve always wanted to learn how to draw,” she says. “Maybe one day you could teach me?”

The air between us starts feeling a little awkward, andI’m not quite sure what to say after that, so I nervously pull at the hem of my shirt.

Madison pays no attention to the awkwardness and continues, “So, we’re all heading down to Falls Creek to go swimming, and then we’re having a barbecue at the park. We wanted to see if you’d like to come with us.”

My hands start to get clammy. I look around, not wanting to make eye contact with her whilst trying to come up with some sort of excuse not to go. I know Hunter would want me there, but I know he’s trying to give me space. I see the worried looks he gives me, and yet I’m not ready… I don’t think I am, anyway.

“Hey, hey. Halle.” Madison’s calm voice pulls me out of the spiral I was heading down. My eyes lock with hers, deep brown and comforting. She wraps her arm around my shoulder and leans in. Her hug feels calming, a type of calm I haven’t felt in so long, and I frantically blink away the tears that are starting to form.

“It’s okay, Halle. You don’t have to come. I just didn’t want you to feel left out because sometimes feeling left out can be just as sad.” She hugs me hard and goes to get up.

Taking a step to the door, she adds, “I know you’re not ready for all of this, but I’ll be here when you are.”

I jump up and close the door behind Madison as she leaves. Leaning against it, I take a deep breath. I could go down to Falls Creek with everyone, but I’m pretty sure everyone’s left now, and it would feel weird. I don’t want anyone to babysit me. Feeling frustrated with myself for always hiding and doing nothing, I decide to take a small step. Grabbing my phone and not allowing any time to hesitate, I message Hunter.

Me: Is there any chance you need help at the bar this weekend?

I wait nervously, tapping my phone on the side of my leg, wondering if he’s still here and will just come in to talk to me or if he’ll reply. Seconds pass, and I start doubting myself and if this is the right move.

My phone vibrates in my hand, and I look down to see a reply from Hunter.

Hunter: There’s a job waiting for you whenever you’re ready lil sis.

A breath I didn’t realize I was holding in whooshes out, and I relax a little.

Me: K, when can I start?

Hunter: Proud of you lil sis. Saturday we’ll need you. I’ll show you the ropes before we open.

I’m staring at the words Hunter sent: ‘We’ll need you.’ It’s a feeling I’m not used to. Before I can reply, Hunter sends another text.

Hunter: You sure you don’t want to come swimming?

Me: Nah, I’ll see ya later. Thanks Hunter

Dropping my phone to the bed, I pick up my sketch pad and listen through the door to see if anyone’s still around. It’s quiet, the music is off, and not a sound of laughter or conversation. I step out and head to the front of the house. Sitting down on the swing chair, I cross my legs. All thetowels that are usually hanging over the porch railing are gone, and the pile of shoes are still there, but I know everyone will be back late after the barbecue.

The sun is high, and the air is hot and muggy. A sweat breaks out across my temples, and I stare out into the street. No noise, not a single person around. It’s peaceful.

I wish my mind knew peace. It overthinks everything: did I act the right way at breakfast, was I wasting space, was I wearing the right thing, did I upset Madison, am I being a burden to Hunter asking for a job? I start to sketch; I need to escape, and I need to do it without relying on those pills.

Focusing on what’s in front of me, I realize I’ve drawn his eyes. The vivid green, the flecks of gold. Great, now he’s invading my subconscious thoughts, too. Does he know Hunter’s offering me a job? Will he be just as angry about that as me living under Hunter’s roof? I’m not sure if I’d rather have him prepared or surprised. There’s something about getting under his skin that’s exciting. I don’t know how to make sense of it, but when he’s around, my mind isn’t so loud. It’s only focused on him, and there’s a feeling underneath it all that I can’t quite figure out yet.

I guess I’ll find out Saturday.

5

SHE’S IN MY HEAD

ASHER

I pull into Hunter’s driveway and put my truck into park. Leaning forward, I look out the window and notice the house is dark and quiet. I wonder if Halle’s inside. Is she asleep? Did she go out for the night, or is she finally taking Hunter up on his offer to help out at the bar?

Fuck.I hit the steering wheel, feeling frustrated. The last week with Halle here has had me more on edge than ever before, and I hate it.

All I want is to spend one night not thinking about her, but my thoughts are constantly torn between wishing she would pack her shit and leave, and imagining how those goddamn curves would feel in my hands. That’s all I can seem to do lately—think about her—and it’s driving me insane. Hopping out of my truck, I run my hand through my hair, messing up my curls, and take one last glance at Hunter’s house.

I need to get laid. My plans for tonight are to forget about Halle.

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