Page 76 of Love Me, I Dare You

The reality is we’re only this happy because we’re alone. There is no noise. No friends or family telling us how much of a horrible idea this is, or get in the way of our happiness. It’s a dream we’re fooling ourselves into believing could be a reality. I’ve gone down this road before, and I’m not sure my heart can handle it if he were to once again walk away.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Nash

Growing up as the youngest of four boys, there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do. I was born with three built in best friends who understood me better than anyone because they knew everything about me. Not only did we share blood, parents, and lived in the same home, but we knew everything there was to know about each other's childhood, went through similar traumas, and dealt with the same adversity.

Yet, I felt out of place in my family. Monty, Beau and Theo had an entire life together before me—despite that they were only six, four, and three years older than me, respectively. I wasn’t like them. As we grew older, my opposing personality and outlook on life became more clear. Unlike the three of my brothers, trouble followed me everywhere I went.

In the years before I was born, Monty used to tell me things weren’t all that bad between Delia and Franklin. They never were the poster couple for a healthy, love filled marriage, but they also weren’t as abusive and neglectful as they soon would become. Something happened after I was born. Delia fell into a deep depression that turned her into the husk of a woman sheonce was, all while Franklin became more aggressive toward her, my brother’s and I.

Two years later, they had Monroe, and for a while, things were back to normal. Not sure why they thought another child would solve their endless list of marital woes and troubles, but when she found out she was finally having a baby girl, it was like my mother became someone new—her old self. She was kind and loving toward us and I’d never seen her so excited about something, though it didn’t last. When Monroe was about four years old, the hatred and resentment our parents felt for one another resulted in Franklin’s severe alcoholism, and our mother finally succumbing to the mental health issues which had always plagued her.

That’s when my brothers and I knew we had to stick together. We only had each other, no parental figures to support us and guide us through life. We had one responsibility, and that was to be a united front for Monroe. I was only two years older than her, but soon enough, I learned what it meant to be a burden no one wanted to deal with. Monty tried his best to protect us, but Franklin knew when to act. He knew Monty would try to stop him, so he ensured his violent and abusive behavior, toward me in particular, occurred when he, or any of my brothers, weren’t around.

Franklin’s abuse and Delia’s neglect became our new normal. Although Monty was there for us in any way he could be, he knew there was really nothing he could do without risking Franklin turning his anger on Monroe. That was his biggest fear. It was mine too, which is why I think I took on the bulk of my father’s fury. Other than my brothers, who were old enough to be out of the house on their own, I had little freedom because of my age. Monty grew older and began thinking of his own future. Beau and Theo were busy with whatever girls they were trying to impress, ‌and I had no one to relate to the shit I was dealing with.

Not until I was about thirteen and began spending more time out in town or around the vacant plots of land on the nearby properties, looking for trouble of my own. That’s when I met Jase—not that we had the slightest bit in common, but I think that’s exactly why our friendship worked. By befriending the enemy, I rebelled against every shitty thing I’d been dealt.

Jase had his own demons to fight, given his father was one of the most influential and well-respected men in all of Crossroads, but that title came with a responsibility of always being the exemplary son—something Jase had no interest in being. I used to tease him that our friendship resulted from his father's direct opposition. For a long time, I’d thought the only reason Franklin hated Bismarck King so much was because of the success and wealth he’d come into. Where my father was a deadbeat alcoholic with no promising future and only a plot of land to his name, Bismarck had everything. A large plot of land with a beautiful house, a fortune inherited from his father, and the love and support of his family.

All I’d known then was the two of them had grown up together, attended the same school, but that was as far as their relationship went. There was always a distaste toward them but soon after the issues between my parents began, Franklin’s hatred of Mayor King went far beyond some school age rivalry. His hatred ran deep and when he found out I had befriended Jase, he sent me to the hospital with broken ribs.

Years later, when I discovered the truth behind his hatred, it made so much sense.

I think that’s why the guilt I felt for what I’d done with Bailey hit so hard. I didn’t want my relationship with Jase to become anything like our fathers. Regardless of whether I felt something for her, I should have known better than to get involved with her. Bottom line is that Jase trusted me. I’d given him my word when I first met Bailey—when it was obvious she had hearts in her eyesthe moment she looked my way. I promised him I would never cross the line with her.

Jase’s reaction when I did was expected, and although I never asked for his forgiveness or deserved an apology, I regret how badly it ruined our friendship. This trip down memory lane wasn’t something I wanted to take, but it was all I could think about as Jase’s truck pulled into my family’s yard.

Especially now that I knew what Bailey and I had was something worth fighting for.

The midnight blue F250 Super Duty was a monster as it drifted through the overgrown weeds we’d yet to remove from the landscape. The engine roared as it steered through the dry terrain, crushing the weeds under its tires. Jase’s eyes met mine, a flicker of uncertainty flashing within as he exited the cab. He embodies a sense of power and control as he struts toward me.

The last time we were together, he’d asked me if there was anything between Bailey and me he should be worried about. I denied it, though I also disappeared with her moments later. I’m sure the reason he’s come out here is that he’s suspicious.

“Never thought I’d see you back out here,” I tell him as he approaches. He’s dressed for the occasion, distressed jeans, a navy blue Carolina Panthers t-shirt that’s seen better days—probably since the last time the Panthers appeared in the playoffs—and a pair of worn out cowboy boots. Though it’s his mop of blonde hair, which is longer than I’ve ever seen on him, covered in a navy blue UNC Baseball cap, that makes him look unlike the guy I once called best friend.

The years have been good to Jase, but gone is his carefree nature and in its place there’s a haunted look in his gaze that reminds me of one I see when I look in the mirror every morning.

Looking around at the state of the ranch, he shows no emotion or insight into what he’s thinking. “Yeah, well, it’s beenyears since this place looked remotely viable. Didn’t quite know what type of creature I’d find out here in the weeds.”

We’re three weeks out from our completion timeline, and I’d never been more confident that we were going to make it to our deadline. The main house is nearly complete, just the last of the kitchen appliances and light furnishing need to be installed, while the brand new barn storage we built is fully functional, currently housing materials, tools, and my Daisy.

“You can relax. There ain’t any monsters out here anymore.”

“Place looks good. Honestly, I’ll admit I doubted you’d be able to get it done. It’s almost unrecognizable.”

“Yeah, you should see the inside. Monty outdid himself with the layout and new floor plan, but Monroe helped put everything together with her unique eye for design.” I notice him grow tense at the mention of my sister, but brush it off. Preferring to get down to why he’s driven all the way out here today. “Anyway, what brings you out to my neck of the woods?”

He looks nervous as he tucks his hands into the pocket of his jeans. “Just stopping by to see if you want to go for some burgers and beers, my treat.”

My brows raise in question. Well, that’s unlike him. “Why?”

“What do you mean, why?”

I choke out a laugh at the defensive tone in his voice. Something is up with Jase. It has been, it seems, since before I came back to town. “I mean, what’s the real reason you want to wine and dine me, Jase?”

With a shrug of his shoulders, he kicks a rock into the dirt at my feet. “Can’t an old friend invite an old friend for some food?”

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