“Nash,” she moans, and fuck me. I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from groaning from the sound that leaves her lips.
My hands are shaking as they fight the urge to caress the warm skin beneath them and roam around until they can bring her to the precipice of pleasure. Her shoulders and arms are beautifully decorated with patches of thin, delicate ink that perfectly contrast the palette of soft neutrals of her complexion.
I want to trace the patterns of her tattoos and uncover what made her choose each intricate design, but that’s not what tonight is about. I’ve just gotten her to trust me enough to not leave her hurt and alone. I can’t cross that line. Not tonight.
Goosebumps scatter over her skin in a soft pattern. “Shh, pretty girl,” I whisper into her hair as I tug the shirt down over her head and shoulders, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.
She sleepily helps me get her arms through the sleeves, her eyes remaining closed, but I can see them flutter beneath hereyelids. The doctor shot her up with something great for the pain, so I know that’s what’s keeping her so compliant. My Bailey girl is the least bit cooperative when she's wide awake. Not like she used to be.
Once the shirt is covering her torso, and shielding my view of those perfect, pink and hard peaks, I lift her slightly, enough to pull the dress all the way down her legs as I lay her back. I catch sight of a strip of red lace as I tug her shirt the rest of the way down and I swear to god my mouth fucking salivates.
Looking around the room, I search for something, anything, to throw over her body and cover it before my restraint snaps and I can no longer hold back from touching her. The need coursing through me is too powerful, too electric to ignore, but I must. My cock’s straining in my jeans, and I need another cold shower to kill the blazing urge that’s building within me.
I find a small, light pink throw in a storage ottoman bench at the edge of her bed, and slowly cover her with it. She immediately snuggles into her pillow, noticeably wincing as she moves her ankle.
“Why’d you come back, Nash?” she murmurs into the darkness of the room.
I know she’s not aware of what she’s saying, but I answer her regardless. “B, I already told you.”
There’s a slow, barely noticeable shake of her head. The blanket of her delicate gold hair glistens against the dark gray silk of her pillowcase. I watch her in awe, entranced by her beauty even now as she sleeps, her makeup smeared in gray circles around her eyes from the tears that escaped earlier from the pain of her injury.
Her soft voice, thick and hoarse from the painkillers, continues to circulate in the air around us as she speaks.
“I was finally getting over you. I was trying, but now…” She pauses, slowly tilting her head and fluttering her eyes opento gaze at me. Dark blue eyes meticulously watch me through hooded lids as she tries her best to stay awake, but the medicine coursing through her veins fights to drag her into slumber. “You shouldn’t have come back.”
The pain in her tone is unmatched, and my chest aches to know I caused it. That I’m continuing to cause it. “I won’t be here for long, B. You’ll be rid of me soon.”
Her eyes open wider, her body shifting until she’s nearly sitting up, leaning back on her elbows. “But what if I don’t want you to go?” The silence in the room is deafening. Nothing but the sound of our unsteady breaths in perfect rhythm. “Stay, Nash.”
She extends an arm out to me, and I want to take it. I so badly want to take her hand in mine and let her convince me to stay, but that won’t do us any good.
“You don’t want me to stay, Angel. You never did. You wanted the idea of me to be burned into your memory, branded on your skin. But not the real me. No, if you knew him, you wouldn’t be asking him to stay…” I pause, unsure if she’s even comprehending what I’m saying but her gaze remains focused on me, glued to mine like I’m the only thing in the room she sees. “You’d be begging him to go if you knew what was good for you.”
Desire flares in her eyes as she watches me, hoping I’ll make some move to appease her, but when I don’t, she lifts her foot up, showing me the bandage wrapped around it.
“I’ve never known what’s good for me. Come, Nash, just for tonight. Stay with me tonight and tomorrow…” Her voice dies on her lips and my feet move of their own accord, forcing me to the side of her bed without my permission. It’s like I’m floating in the air, my body being dragged to her by some enchantment. “Tomorrow you can choose to go. You made the choice on your own last time. Let me have this one chance to make mine. Even if it’s a mistake, I’ll regret.”
Chapter Eighteen
Bailey
Flashback - Twelve Years Ago
Unrequited love. It’s not typically something I would have associated with my future when I was younger. Though neither was the alternative. Unconditional and everlasting love.
I didn’t long for a big house on hundreds of acres of land, with the white picket fence, large kitchen and dining room for entertaining, and a family den to spend as much quality time with my husband and five kids. Not a huge porch deck that extended the entire property where we'd sit and look out toward the barn and watch the animals roam on the open range. Cattle grazing on the greenest pasture. A herd of horses in stables, the children could learn to ride. Not even a whole coop full of chickens.
I didn’t dream of staying home and caring for the kids while my husband tended our family ranch, only to come home to a clean house and a freshly cooked comfort meal I’d spent all day preparing from scratch. That was the life my mama had, and every woman before her. A life my little sister Brynn and mostof the girls our age dreamed of having, but I always felt different about it.
I wanted a husband—a partner I could do life with. We’d date for a few years, get to know each other before committing to a lifetime together. We’d travel, spend as much quality time just ourselves before starting a family—two kids max. Hopefully, with whatever careers we chose, we’d buy a nice house, plenty of land and maybe a few baby goats just so the kids could play. Then they’d grow up and have lives of their own and hope to do what their heart desired.
However, the day I met Nash Bishop, all of that changed. I wanted it all with him, anything I could take. If he wanted to leave Crossroads and spend our entire lives, just the two of us, I’d do it. So long as I could spend eternity with him. And soon enough, when I got to know him, that seemed like the most realistic option.
Nash wasn't the type who’d want any of it. Not a wife or kids, not a mundane nine-to-five job, nor a lifetime of working to tend a ranch. Unlike his brothers, Nash’s cowboy horse was a motorcycle, and his attire was made of leather, not denim.
I was willing to make the sacrifice, however big or small, just to get to do life with him.
There was one time when all of it seemed possible. I was sixteen and Nash was just shy of eighteen. It was a scorching summer, shortly after we’d spent some time together on the Ferris wheel down at the county fair. He’d been out with Jase all morning and when they came back, mama offered him to stay for dinner. Although, by this point, he’d been friends with Jase for a few years, mama had never invited him to stay, much less to feed him. She was known for her southern hospitality, good cooking, and need for everyone to eat it, though that courtesy never extended to the Bishop’s. Not since the first day he’d showed up.