Page 94 of The Failed Audition

I know how this looks to Shay, someone thousands of miles across the country.

Girl moves to Vegas to follow her dreams.

Girl gets trained by Guy.

Girl falls for Guy.

Girl forgets about her dreams in favor of love.

But I moved to Vegas to join Aerial Ethereal. Nikolai is helping me do just that, and he’d rather me succeed than start a relationship.Circus or a man.I’m choosing the circus. Now. And forever.

And if I forget, Nikolai promised he’d remind me.

Shay’s face hardens as soon as he notices Nikolai. Next to me. Since the wet T-shirt contest is on the other side of the pool, there are slightly less bodies and general commotion. But eyes flicker this way, and I have the sense that people are watching us from cabanas and the water.

I swallow a lump and step forward to introduce them. “Shay,” I start, “this is—”

“Don’t say it,” Shay tells me, shaking his head with a twisted face. He’s already come to the right conclusion. That I’m with Nikolai. So his reaction—it’s a valid one. “Dammit, Thora. You’re better than this!”

His voice slices my gut.

“You must be the best friend,” Nikolai says with a great deal of disdain. If looks could kill, Shay would be dead five times over.

Shay layers on a murderous glare of his own. “And she’s never saidone thingabout you.”Because I knew you’d react this way.

I raise my hands between them, standing directly in the middle of two different worlds. I wonder if they will ever bridge, if they ever can. “Please, let me explain.” More and more people filter over here, with drinks in hand, to watch this “fight” that’s become a bigger spectacle than a wet T-shirt contest.

“Sure,” Shay says, his voice caged with hurt. “Explain to me how the Thora James I’ve known for eight fucking years could throw away a college scholarship for a guy. One year, Thora, you hadone yearleft.”

“He’s training me.” Tears sting my eyes. “Okay, he’shelpingme.” I am pleading with him to understand, to picture what I do. But my viewpoint is a solitary one.

“Bullshit.” He points at Nikolai now. “Iseethe way he’s looking at you.”

“I didn’t leave everything for a guy!” I shout back.

“Then tell me I’m wrong! Tell me that you’renotwith him.”

I struggle for breath, swallowing air before I say, “I can’t…”

He rests his hands on his head like I sucker-punched him. “Goddammit, Thora.Goddammit.”

“I’m the same person.” I haven’t changed in the way he believes.My dreams are all the same.

He drops his arms. “Wake up. You’re never going to be an aerialist in a world-renowned troupe. Do you hear how crazy that is?” I’m shaking, fighting back tears. “He’s giving you false hope so he can keep you around, probably tofuck you—”

“You’re a coward.” Nikolai’s hollow voice nearly silences the muttering crowds. He’s by my side, and then he protectively passes me, brushing my hand like sayingI’m here for youbefore he takes a few steps ahead and faces Shay. “If you’re going to slander me, speak directlytome, not to her.”

Shay’s doubt leeches my brain. His belief isn’t true. It’s not true. Nikolai’s intentions are as pure as mine. I know they are, in my heart. I know it.

“Yeah, I have something to say to you,” Shay grits.

“Ooooh,” people in the pool echo, hands cupped over their mouths to create the noise. I realize I’ve shuffled to the side, in order to see both Shay and Nikolai from a spectator position, but I’m still closer to them than anyone else at the pool party.

“Leave Thora alone,” Shay sneers. “If you like her at all, you’ll stop feeding her bullshit—”

“It’s not bullshit.” Nikolai glares. “She has the ability to be better.”

“With your help, right?” Shay nods like he sees right through him. My stomach clenches.It’s not true.

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