Page 95 of The Failed Audition

“Yes,” Nikolai says lowly. “With my help. I’ve spent twenty years training on the apparatus she loves. I’ve spent my entire life in the circus. I have knowledge and experience that she needs. There isnothingfor her in Ohio.” Anger protrudes the veins in his arms and neck, his muscles flexing.

My throat swells. Behind Nikolai, I now notice all who gathers. Not just Timo. There’s Luka. And Dimitri—there are dozens…no,severaldozen athletes, all broad-shouldered, strong and hard-jawed. Gray eyes.

Most of them have those gray eyes. Kotovas. Cousins. Brothers. His family.

They stand as though they’re ready to back him. For anything. For everything.

“Her whole life is in Ohio,” Shay retorts. “She doesn’t belong here.”

Shay ismyfamily. He is the one familiarity I have.

“Fight! Fight! Fight!” people begin to chant, not only in the pool but around us.

I shake my head. No.No oneis fighting.

The Kotovas start speaking in Russian, shouting over each other and the hostile encouragements. Nikolai rotates a fraction and yells a few foreign words back to them.

I meet Shay’s concerned gaze that fixes on me. His eyes soften so much.You know him. For years. You know him.His voice is drowned by the crowd, but I read his lips:Come home.He’s telling me to come home. With him.

My eyes burn, restraining combative emotions.

“Thora,” I hear Nikolai’s loud voice in the mass.

I turn my head.

His sincerity, his intensity, it rips right through me. “Don’t leave.Please.”

I inhale a pained breath. I’m warring with my dreams and with reality. Is it courageous to stay here or is it just a fool’s chase? I’m not sure…

“Thora,” Nikolai forces, my attention his once more, “you can succeed.”

Shay’s hands ball into fists. “Says the guy who’s been sleeping with her.”

“Fight! Fight! Fight!”

My stomach knots and unknots at Shay’s disillusion and the real fact. I haven’t slept with Nikolai. That’s not what this is about. In the pit of my ear, I hear his words spoken from months ago.

It’s wasted courage. And wasted love. You shouldn’t have to waste those things.

I can do this.

You can do this, Thora.It’s not over. It doesn’t have to be.

Not yet.

Nikolai takes a few commanding strides towards Shay, who stands his ground. My heart thrashes. They won’t fight. “Whatdoes it matter to you if I have?” He’s subtly implying:do you have feelings for her?

No. Not like that.

“She’s my best friend. If I see a guy using her, I’m going to step in the fucking way.”

“FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”

I keep shaking my head.

“This is the life she wants. Let her live it.”

Shay lets out an aggravated laugh and shouts over the chanting, “You think she wants to live this life?! The minute she doesn’t land a contract, she’s going to be back in Ohio. And you’re going to lose your fuck buddy—”

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