Page 51 of My Heart To Heal

Chopped, Is Open For Business

Nick

She’s freaking out. Ican feel it, and I need to back off and give her some space. She has a lot going on right now, and I want to comfort her through it, but I also want to keep her in my life. She set a boundary and told me she didn’t want a relationship, but we’ve been so close, spending so much time together, and those lines are getting blurry.

As I run, I can’t help but consider the two paths I can’t tread right now: the life with Missy and Jonah, us as a family, a real, true, out-in-the-open family, and the life without them in it. Neither of those is an option. She doesn’t want the real, and I can’t lose them, so I’ll toe the line, give her exactly what she needs, and not ask for more.

I decided to stay in town for my run today, and I smile as I see everybody getting ready to start their day, knowing they’re all excited for the salon to open and that they’ll all be there later to support Missy.

Without paying attention to where I’m going, I find myself at the top of the street I grew up on, and I stop. What am I doing here? I actively avoid this place for the most part so it’s a little jarring to stand here, staring at the house that holds the memories of my unhappy childhood.

I think about Jonah. He’s so free and fun. He gets to laugh and play. He knows how loved and safe he is, and he gives that love back. When I took him down to the clinic yesterday, he was so gentle and sweet with the animals, and he brought me so much joy being in his company. Why didn’t my dad feel that way about me?

If I spoke too loudly, closed a door too hard, or woke up too early, it was met with the back of his hand or the boom of his voice. I grew up terrified to make a sound. I swallow hard as memory after memory rushes at me, and I shake my head to push them back — I don’t need them. My dad tried to break me, but he didn’t because of my friends and their parents — because of this town. They supported me, and now they’re going to support Missy and Jonah.

Turning my back on the painful memories, I run back toward the place and the people who got me through. I’m done looking back.

Whoa. Stepping out onto the street after I’m showered and dressed, I’m stunned by the crowd already gathering outside the salon. It feels like the whole town is here.

‘Hey.’ I smile as I meet Doug, Cara, and Bree.

‘Hey, morning.’ Cara beams up at me from her position at Doug’s side as Bree nudges my shoulder with hers in greeting.

‘Where’s Bowie?’ I ask as Lynnie, Merv, and Leo’s dad and stepmom approach.

‘She went upstairs to occupy Jonah while Missy gets ready.’ Doug grins. ‘I might head up and bring them both down, actually.’

‘I’ll go.’ Bree steps away. Everything in me wants to jump in and say I’ll do it, but space, I’m giving her space.

When Bree reemerges, following behind the two kids, I notice she’s not alone, and I swallow hard. Missy is right behind her, and she looks beautiful.

Her hair is loose, and her natural waves are big and bouncy as they tumble over her shoulders and her smile is a thousand watts as she takes in all the love and support of the people of Forest Falls.

Only Doug knows the name of the salon, well, him and a couple of his guys who helped him hang the sign, but it’s been under wraps ever since so she can announce it as part of the opening. This is such a huge moment for her, and I’m so happyjust standing here watching.

‘Hey, y’all.’ She beams as she steps forward, Jonah right in front of her, her hands on his shoulders. ‘Oh my gosh, thank you all so much.’ Her hand comes to her heart, and she meets my gaze. I offer a small smile that she returns with a look of relief, as though she sought me out, as though I'm bringing her comfort, before she gives the crown her attention once more. ‘I just want to say a few words if that’s okay.’ She shrugs, and I know she’s nervous, but she goes on. ‘Moving to a new town, starting a whole new life is kind of terrifying, especially when you have a small person to take care of, but you all have opened up your hearts and your homes to us since the day we arrived in Forest Falls, and I don’t have the words to tell you what that means to us. We love it here.’ She squeezes Jonah’s shoulders, and he grins up at her. ‘We thank you. We love being a part of this community, and, well, I can’t wait to get my hands on your hair.’ She giggles, and the crowd laughs with her.

‘Open the doors,’ Zoe’s voice calls out of Bree’s phone and Missy nods.

‘I mean, you ain’t even here, and you’re still callin’ the shots.’ More laughter, and Missy takes a breath. ‘I will open the doors, Zoe Bennett, but first, I needto let y’all know that,’ she grips the rope attached to the sheet covering the sign and tugs, and I laugh, ‘Choppedis open for business.’

She opens the doors and lets people filter in to see what she’s done with the space, but I stay on the street looking up at the wooden sign and grinning. She named the shop after our show. That’s a sign, right? … I mean, it is actually a sign, but it means something. I’m sure it does.

‘You like it?’

I lower my attention from the sign to the woman in front of me and laugh at the expression on her face.

‘You know I do.’

She turns and heads inside, and I follow. It means something. I know it does.

I Can’t Be Gentle Right Now

Missy

‘Morning, Kacey.’

I beam as I walk into Chopped to see Kacey setting up her station. I hand her the coffee I just picked her up from the diner, which she gratefully takes.

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