Page 44 of My Heart To Heal

‘Hey, little man.’

My heart flutters at the way Jonah wraps his arms around Nick’s legs and Nick ruffles my baby’s hair. They seem to have genuine affection for each other, and it scares me a little.

‘Jonah, show Nick to the table, please,’ I say, and my son grins.

‘Is he staying for dinner?’

‘Yes, baby, he is.’

Taking Nick’s hand, Jonah leads him to the table, and I follow, carrying his bowl. Sweet Lord, baby Jesus, that ass… his back looks as good as his front.

We sit, Nick next to Jonah and me opposite. I hand him the bowl and cutlery and he thanks me before digging in.

‘Oh, that’s good, thanks, Missy.’ He nods, and I smile softly.

‘You’re welcome.’

‘Mama cooks the best food.’ Jonah says, raising his fork, and my smile widens.

‘Well, you haven’t had a whole lot of other people cook for you to compare, baby, but thank you.’

‘Why are you here?’

‘Jonah, swallow your food before you talk.’

Nick swallows his before answering.

‘Your mama and I started watching a TV show together, and there are two new episodes on tonight, so I thought we could watch it later.’

‘Can I watch?’

‘No, Jonah, it’s grown-up TV,and it’s on way after your bedtime.’

‘So why are you here now?’ Jonah questions and Nick tilts his head, apparently realizing for the first time that he is hours early forChopped.

‘Would you prefer I left?’

‘No.’ Jonah looks horrified, and Nick smiles.

‘I guess I thought if I came early, I’d get to hang out with you for a bit, too.’ Jonah beams up at him, and Nick leans in close to whisper, ‘I also hoped your mom would feed me some of this pasta. I could smell it from the hallway.’

Jonah giggles, and I shake my head.

‘Eat up, you two.’

Dinner was nice. I was a happy observer as Jonah and Nick talked and laughed while they ate. Nick told Jonah about all the animals he has staying at the clinic right now and who he had in today and Jonah told Nick all about his adventures with Bowie and how it had been going back to school after Christmas.

As I leave Jonah playing in the shower and find Nick putting away the dishes he must have just washed, I inhale so very shakily. This feels like more than it’s supposed to.

‘Whatare you doing, friend?’ I say as I round the counter, and he smiles back at me.

‘Don’t do it.’ He sasses, smirking, and I shrug.

‘What?’

‘I can see your little cogs turning. You’re overthinking, freaking out that this is too domesticated. I'm just pulling my weight. You fed me. I cleaned up, simple as that.’ My lips part, and he stares at me, amusement in his eyes as he steps close, leaning in to talk close to my ear. ‘Close your mouth, honey, or I’ll find a use for it.’

My mouth closes, and I press my lips together as heat washes over me, and he laughs, passing me to move to the sofa. I want that. I want him to find a use for my mouth, and suddenly, I can’t wait to get my boy to sleep.

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