Page 15 of My Heart To Heal

Now it’s hers: Missy’s. Someone he doesn’t even know, someone who isn’t from Forest Falls. He probably took one look at her pretty brown eyes and just handed over the keys.

Seeing her at the top of the stairs earlier jarred me. I liked the way her hair was fixed in a high ponytail, her waves hanging down. I’ve never seen her looking so casual, as she’s always been in dresses and made-up when I’d seen her before. Today, in jeans and boots, just a little bit of makeup, and all bundled up against the winter in her coat and scarf, she looked adorable. It’s not even that cold today — just a little chill in the air, but it made me think she must like to be cozy. I picture her on the sofa with fluffy socks on her feet and a blanket over her legs, and I smile. Then I realize I’m picturingmysofa, and I stand in a rush. What the hell are you thinking, Nick?

I need to get some sleep. This day is frying my brain.

My feet pound againstthe cold, hard ground. The field I ran laps on for all my years at high school brings back memories with each step. School’s out for the weekend, so I found myself here on my morning run. I’ve run further today than usual, mostly out of frustration. For the past week, I’ve found myself drifting between thoughts of my dad to thoughts of Clint, to the things that piss me off about Missy, to the things I like about her. Annoyingly, there’s more to like than pisses me off, and that in itself drives me crazy.

She’s been at the apartment and the shop with Doug, her bright, sunshiny fucking demeanor annoying me as they loudly discuss their plans for the place. She’d brought me a coffee and breakfast sandwich from the diner, and she told me she asked Merv for my usual order to make sure it was perfect. Then, as she handed them over, she laid out exactly how much my life was about to be disrupted.

‘Doug said he’ll try to keep all the work to your usual business hours so you’re not home while he’s working, but it’ll get a little dusty, and the noise inthe shop might affect you. He’ll try to minimize that, and he’s aiming for a quick turnaround.’

The way she bit into her red, painted bottom lip and gazed up at me like she was nervous about my reaction made me uncomfortable to be standing there in sweatpants. I prayed she’d keep her eyes up. I needed to discharge the current I felt looking into her eyes.

‘So, what you’re saying is that you’re about to start ripping this place apart, and my entire life will be affected by yours.’

She released her lip to take a deep breath. Jesus, Nick, you couldn’t just saythanks, no problem?

‘What I’m saying, what I very clearlyjustsaid, is that we are going to try and work around you to minimize the impact on you.’

‘But there will be an impact.’

Missy huffed loudly, then reached out and snatched the sandwich from my hand before turning and walking away, calling out from the stairwell.

‘You don’t deserve breakfast.’

And despite my annoyance — at myself more than her, I had to fight a smile.

Now I’m going through my usual morning routine: run before work, head home to shower, then down to the clinic, knowing that the work starts today, and before long, the apartment opposite will beoccupied, and the barbershop will once again be open for business.

Y’all Need To Have Sex

Nick

‘Hey, brother.’

Doug stands, smiling widely as he pulls me into a hug before we both sit. We’re heading toward Christmas, and the bar is all lit up. There’s a nice vibe in the air, and I’m loving these now-regular catch-ups with my friend.

‘Still weird in here with no Zoe.’

‘Yeah.’ He nods and takes a breath as he moves his attention around the bar.

The news of Zoe and Leo’s relationship is still pretty fresh and taking some getting used to. Doug didn’t handle it all too well at first — his best friend and his sister, but he’s happy for them now. I think more than anything, he just misses them since they moved to San Diego for the next few months.

‘You think they’ll come back?’ I ask, and he meets my gaze.

‘I think, one way or another, Zoe has left Forest Falls for good. Maybe when Leo’s too old to tattoo, they’ll come back, but nah, I think we only have visits to look forward to from here on out.’

That makes me a little sad. I’m happy that my friends found love after the loss of Luke, Zoe’s husband and Leo’s cousin, but I feel like I just started getting my friends back, and now some of them are gone.

‘You guys ready for Christmas?’ I change the subject, and he nods.

‘Yeah, pretty much. Bowie has Cara sending reminders to the North Pole because we’re staying at her place on Christmas Eve. She wants to make sure Santa knows where to go.’

I laugh — that’s fucking adorable.

‘What about you? Where are you spending the day?’

Doug knows all about my relationship with my dad. It’s been no secret since we were teenagers. I always wanted to be a vet, so I resented the hours he made me work at the shop, and he resented the time I spent studying for a career he didn’t want me to go after. Not to mention the fact that he’s an abusive alcoholic fuck, and my friends saw all of that.

---