Page 16 of My Heart To Heal

‘At home. I’m going to go to work for a bit, as we’ll still have a few recovering patients, so I’ll need to check in, feed, andmedicate them. It’s just another day for me.’

‘Nick.’

‘Doug, it’s fine. It’s not the same these days. I don’t have Clint, and I don’t have kids to make it all magical and shit, so it’s fine.’

‘Come eat with us.’ I shake my head, no, as I swallow the mouthful of beer I just took. ‘I’m serious, you can work around it, you don’t have to stay, just come for dinner, please. It’s Cara’s first Christmas here, and her dad can’t make it over until January, so she needs family around her.’

Family… Is that how he sees me — even after all this time? It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling I should be embarrassed about, but the Campbells were my escape when we were kids. The memories of those days make me smile.

The idea of seeing Bowie excited about her new toys, Harley following her around, and being in the house with other people instead of my own company is tempting, but it feels like a huge imposition.

‘Really, it’s fine. I’m good.’

‘Think about it, okay. The offer will stay open.’ He taps his bottle to mine, and I enjoy the satisfying sound of glass on glass. ‘Also, Missy will be there.’

I see his smirk and watch as he raises his bottle to his lips.

‘I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but she and I are not exactly the best of friends.’

He laughs loudly.

Over the past few weeks since work began on her apartment, tensions have been high between Missy and me. The noise and the dust from the work has pissed me off, and I know none of it is her fault, and I know she prewarned me, but every time I see her visit to check on progress, I find myself irritated.

Her life is moving forward, while mine is covered in dust. The metaphor isn’t lost on me. I’m sitting still, and I fucking hate it. I’m in the same small town I grew up in, in an apartment that’s been in my family for generations.

I’m still single, I haven’t had sex in two years, and I’ve been fighting with my dad for my entire life. All the while, she shows up with an excited smile on her face because she’s on the up. She’s moving to a town that comes with a whole new family and friends, she’s got a beautiful new apartment and her own business, and if all of the disruption to my life wasn’t enough to get on my nerves, seeing her showing my smiling father around the apartment and the shop, talking him through the changes she is making while he listens intently and happily, and wished her all the luck in the goddam world sealed the deal.

All in all, it’s led to a few frosty interactions between her and me, and Doug has witnessed most of them.

‘Y’all need to have sex.’

My beer comes out of my nose, and he laughs.

‘What the fuck, man.’

‘I’m serious. Watching you two fight is like watching the buildup to a sex scene in a movie. You need to get it out of your system and move on.’

‘You’re dead wrong.’

‘So, you don’t think she’s hot?’

‘I didn’t say that.’

He laughs again.

‘What’s your problem with her then? Why are you butting heads so much?’

I inhale deeply and try to pinpoint it. ‘I don’t know. Something about her just grinds my gears, and the feeling is mutual.’

‘You know how Cara and I started, right?’ I shrug, and he smiles. ‘I was a fuckin’ asshole to her because I wanted her so bad but was trying to resist.’ He laughs. ‘I pissed her off so bad.’

‘That’s different. You two are meant to be together.’

‘What’s to say you and Missy aren’t meant to have something special.’

‘Doug, I know you care about her and me, but we’re not you and Cara. Our frustrations with each other aren’t foreplay. We just don’t click.’

‘The first time we kissed,’ he says, ignoring my point and holding my gaze. ‘I thought the same thing until we kissed, then everything changed. Just keep it in mind.’

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