“Open the barrel.” She glances up at me, uncertainty dancing in her dark eyes. “Just open it.”
She opens the little buckle latch, and the barrel opens to expose a bunch of pregnancy tests. She takes them out, and stares up at me. “What are these for?”
“I want to make a baby with you,” I explain quickly. “I want us to be a family. I want a future with you, and our new dog, who has yet to be named.” She continues to blink up at me and I hurry on. “I know you said you wanted to get a pup when you got pregnant, but don’t worry, I’m determined to make that happen very soon, too. If…if it’s still what you want.”
She stares at me for a second, like she’s trying to wrap her brain around that, when the pup gives her a big lick on the lips. She chuckles, picks him up and wipes her face. He snuggles right in with her, and the warmth in her eyes tells me it’s love at first sight, for both of them. I get it, little doggy. Trust me, I get it.
Hugging the puppy, she steps into the house, and I say, “I’ll be right back.” I run to the car and grab the supplies and big, comfy doggy bed. I come back and stand on the steps.
“Can I come in?” She nods. “Good because we really need to talk.”
“I know.” She blinks rapidly. “I called and texted you. But then I saw your car…” Her words fall off, and my blood drains.
“You saw me at Summer’s today?” She nods and inches back to let me in. “It’s not what you think.”
“That’s not the first time you’ve said that, Conner.” The door clicks shut and she follows me into the living room. I set the dog bed down and when the pup yawns, she places him in the middle of the bed. I don’t sit—I’m too antsy—and neither does she.
I shift from one foot to the other, fear of hurting her making what I have to say so hard. “Summer wanted me there when she explained things to Knox.” Confusion moves over her face and of course she’s in the dark. She has no idea that Summer had an affair with Alec and the boy she saw me with is his. “I’ll get to that, but you need to know that I’m not with Summer. I haven’t been with her for a very long time.”
“Okay.”
Good, at least she believes that much. “It’s you I love. It’s you I’ve always loved.” She remains quiet, her eyes sad as she continues to focus on me, clearly needing to hear more. “I thought I was responsible for Alec’s death,” I begin and her eyes go wide. “I held that pain close to my heart. I didn’t want to hurt you because I always thought Alec was the love of your life, and you asked me for my DNA so it could help you keep a piece of Alec with you.”
“That’s not why I asked, Conner.” I blink at her, and she continues. “I asked because I loved you. I’ve always loved you.”
“I know…the letter.”
“You found it in Alec’s box.” It’s a statement not a question, and while I want to lie and protect her, there can be no more lies. My loyalties are with her, and if she loves me, and I know she does, my brother’s indiscretion will hurt her, but I’m here now, here to help her put her life back together again.
“Yes.”
“The boy…he’s Alec’s,” she says again, and my head rears back. Holy shit, she knows…everything.
“Yes.”
She nods, and her reaction isn’t at all what I expected. Then again, I suspect she’s been sitting with this knowledge for a while now.
“I didn’t know about him until a little over a week ago,” I explain.
“You knew about the affair?”
I exhale, my shoulders drooping and I hope she doesn’t hate me for this but here I go. “I kept his secret to protect you. I was torn between loyalties, but now I know where my loyalties stand. With you. Always with you. I’d never do anything to hurt you, Dani. Not purposely. You have my word on that.”
“I know that,” she murmurs quietly, her voice low and shaky.
“There’s something else you need to know. Something that I’ve kept close to my heart for a long time.”
She swallows, her eyes moving over my face cautiously. “We need honesty, Conner.”
“You’re right.” I run my hand through my hair, hoping she doesn’t hate me.
She comes closer, and puts her hands on my shoulders. “Now tell me why you thought you were responsible for Alec’s death?” she asks, knowing exactly what I wanted to talk about. My God, this woman might know me better than I know myself.
“The day…” I stop when I’m about to choke on my words. “The day you lost your baby…That was the day Alec was with Summer.” I pause to let her absorb that. When I finally get a nod, I continue. “As you know, he called me and asked me to take you to the clinic. I knew he was with someone. I didn’t know it was Summer. After…you lost…the baby. I called him and told him to get home. I was so fucking angry, Dani.” I hold her gaze, as her eyes water. “I told him if he didn’t come home right now, he was dead to me.”
She slides her arms around me, and I pull her close. We hold onto one another like our lives depend on it. Her touch comforts me, gives me the strength to continue. “I’m superstitious and I believe in karma. I figured I was responsible for his death. I was terrified to say anything. I didn’t want you to hate me.”
She inches back to see me. “I could never hate you, Conner. I can be mad, or upset, but never hate. I don’t have hate in me.”