Page 46 of Sticking Out

She looks like she wants to say more, and maybe there are things I can’t answer, so I turn and head toward the stairs. She’s right about getting things off my chest, but there is one thing I know about Alec that I’ll never tell her, for her own good. He’s gone now and there’s no need for me to hurt her and I can’t have her hating me because I’m the reason he’s gone.

She follows me up the stairs and the hall is filled with a huge new mattress and the base and headboard. I stop outside the main room. I glance in, barely able to make my legs move. I eye the bed she shared with my brother. The bedding has been stripped, and all that’s left is to remove the mattress and disassemble the base.

“I’m going to need one of the guys to help me get this down the stairs. I don’t want you lifting anything. I should have thought of that.”

“We can ask my brother-in-law, Jared. He won’t mind.”

“He’s busy with three kids. I can get Ash to come help tomorrow. He’s handy and I can use his help putting the new frame together.” I give her a half smile. “I’m not so great with instructions.” She nods in agreement. “Do you want to head back to my place?”

“Yes, actually I need to grab some more clothes.” She heads to her closet and opens it, pulling a few things off hangers. I spot a few boxes and things of Alec’s there, and my chest constricts. “We, uh, should probably get on that.”

She nods. “Yeah, I know. I bet there’s things in here that I can donate. He was kind of a packrat.”

“Really? I didn’t know that about him.”

She laughs. “Oh, yeah. All these boxes here. I don’t even know what’s in them. Look at this huge one. It’s heavy too.”

I move toward her, a deep compelling need driving my actions. I can’t understand it, I only know I need to see what things were important to my brother. I never knew him to be a packrat at all. I’m beginning to believe there were a lot of things I never knew about my brother, and I have the weirdest feeling I’m not going to like what I find. I’ve never been intuitive, and I’ve always learned things the hard way, so I can’t really understand why my gut is in knots.

“Can I take a look?”

Her gaze goes from me to the box, back to me and with a shrug, she agrees, “Sure.”

I walk to the closet and even though it’s weird to go through my brother’s things, if I don’t do it now, I’ll have to do it eventually. I know Dani would like to donate what she can, which means we really have to open every box.

I carry the big box to the chair near the window and sit. Dani grabs a tote bag, and heads to her dresser and starts pulling things from the drawers. I guess she’s not as interested as I am. I slowly peel the lid off the box, and when I look inside, my heart stops beating, like really stops beating.

I try to suck in a breath, but can’t seem to get any air into my lungs as my gaze catalogues the contents of the box. I finally get air in, and a little sound escapes my throat.

“Conner?” Dani asks.

I lift my head, and as she comes toward me the room begins to close in on me. “Dani,” I murmur. “This…this is all my stuff. All the things I’ve lost over the years.”

She glances into the box. “Are you sure?”

My chest rises and falls rapidly, as hurt stings my eyes. “Why…why would he take my stuff?”

17

Dani

It’s been two weeks since Conner found all his missing things in a box in my closet. He’s been rather quiet, confused by his brother’s actions, and I have to say I am too. I always felt that Alec might harbor some jealousy, but then I would dismiss it as quickly as the thought would hit. What did he have to be jealous of? He was brilliant, the class valedictorian, popular, and had landed a great job at Harvard.

But he wasn’t Conner.

Did he take those things to hurt his brother? I actually can’t wrap my brain around that. When Conner was younger, Alec was always there for him. Conner adored his older brother, looked up to him. Conner told me that numerous times and never once did I hear Conner say a bad word about Alec, or vice versa. But the box…the things Conner treasured most over the years, things that he thought he’d misplaced and lost. Well, they weren’t misplaced or lost at all. They were taken by Alec, and now both Conner and I are quietly, in our own heads, trying to figure out why.

I glance at the camera in the dog’s playroom. I smile, not that I think Conner is watching me. He’s been so quiet lately, focusing on helping me fix the house, and every time I look at him, and see the pain and confusion on his face it hurts my heart. He could barely concentrate during French lessons the other night and he loves helping at the hockey camps, but when he was getting ready to leave this morning, he didn’t seem all that excited about it.

I know finding his things was odd and hurtful and confusing, but a part of me wonders if something more is going on inside his head. I don’t know what, but what I do know is that tonight, I’ll be taking another pregnancy test, and if it’s positive, hopefully that will give him something else to concentrate on.

Tomorrow is Saturday and we’re going to my parents’ place for a meal, and we’re going to have to tell them we’re dating. Sunday his parents’ are coming over. I’m a bit nervous about what they’ll all think. My folks love Conner, for sure, but are they going to think this is a mistake? What about if we actually get pregnant? I know they want more grandkids, and they know I want a child of my own, but how will they react when they find out it’s Conner’s baby, and then we have to part ways and co-parent? How the heck are Conner’s parents going to feel when we tell them on Sunday?

I take a fast breath and stop my chaotic racing thoughts. Right now, with a lot going on with Conner, I’m just going to take things one day at a time. I check the time and when Marley walks in, the dogs all run to her. She gives them love and those that are staying overnight are brought into another room while I get the others packed on the bus, for their trip home.

Most of them are tired after a long day of play as we lead them outside to the bus, but once they’re on, and know they’re going home to see their owners, they perk up. I wave to Marley and glance in the rearview mirror to spot Stallone trying to bite Ivy’s ear in the seat in front of him.

“Stallone, mind your business, or no treats for you.”

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