Page 45 of Sticking Out

“The world can be so tough on you if you’re different,” I say under my breath. What would I have done without Alec there to protect me? I was a scrawny kid, which is probably why I was fast on the ice.

“I know, and I just think kids need to know they’re not alone. I’m sure you felt you were the only one having a hard time reading and learning. Lecturing in schools can make a world of difference, and a lecture by the great Conner Birch will show these kids how they can succeed.”

I drop the brochures as I listen to her reasoning. She stares at me through worried eyes, because yes, she knows she’s touching on a sore spot. “I can’t believe you did this.”

“I just thought… You’re a smart guy, Conner. A very fast thinker. Which is why you’re such a great hockey player. I know how much you love to give back to the community, and I also think if you open up, get it off your chest, and share your stories, not only will it be good for you to stop hiding it, it will be good for the kids who need help.”

I angle my head. “Why do I get the sense you’re talking from experience? Is there something you want to get off your chest, Dani?”

She shakes her head fast. “No. I’m just saying you could be an advocate. Do something positive with a disorder that you’ve always kept hidden. We’re all adults now, no one is going to call you names or look down on you and you can make a difference for the next generation. Plus, it’s good karma.”

“You believe in karma?” I ask.

“Yeah, I do. Do you?”

I nod. “I could use some good karma.” My brother is gone because of me, and that’s some pretty bad fucking karma right there.

“We all could, and I think you players are all pretty superstitious too.”

She’s right we are, and I believe bad things come in threes and here I still am, wondering waiting for the shoe to drop. “We are.”

“I think becoming an advocate is a win-win, Conner.”

“Do you now?” I take a step toward her and her body tightens, concern all over her face. Does she think I’m mad?

“I’m sorry if you thought I went behind your back.” She holds her hands out to me, wanting me close and I want that too. “I only have your best interests at heart.”

I reach her, put my hands on her waist and lift her onto the island. I push her legs apart and slide between them. “How do you know what my best interests are?”

She brushes my hair from my forehead. “Because I know you, Conner.”

“What do you know?” My gaze drops to her perfect lips. I once again wonder why my brother was getting his sex elsewhere, from a girl who giggles no less, when he could have been getting it from his wife, a woman who is the epitome of perfection.

“I know that you’re a great guy with a big heart that had some hurts in the past. I know you offered to help a friend have a baby, even though you were battling a few demons about bringing a child into this world.”

“Go on.”

I laugh. “Now you’re just fishing. Maybe you should be called Coddy, like your Newfoundland fishing teammate Brady, instead of Wood.”

“Hey,” I say quietly and she falls silent. I press my forehead to hers. “I think that was very nice of you.”

She exhales. “I was worried that you were going to be upset.”

“How could I be upset when you only have my best interests at heart, and the best interests of the next generation of kids? Becoming an advocate and making change is exactly what I should be doing, instead of hiding it because I was picked on. I’m a grown-ass man. Let someone try to pick on me now.”

She squeezes my bicep. “You don’t need Alec fighting your battles anymore.” At the mention of Alec, my thoughts race back to the nursing home and that laugh I heard in the hallway. I left the lounge quickly, in search of the woman who made it but she was already gone. I briefly close my eyes. That sound has haunted me for two long years.

“Conner?”

I open my eyes and blink. “Yeah.”

“Where did you go there?”

I shake my head. “Nowhere. We should get working on the bed.” I pick her up and set her on the floor.

“You actually had that same look on your face at the nursing home, when we heard that laugh. Was it someone you knew?”

“I don’t know…I don’t think so.” I check the time. “It’s getting late. We should get the bed done, and get some sleep.” I playfully wave my eyebrows. “Tomorrow is ovulation day, so we’re going to be busy.”

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