Page 25 of Sticking Out

“What are you doing?”

His head lifts, and the lines in his forehead smooth out as his soft gaze settles on mine. “I got this baby proofing list from the store.”

I look at the list in his hand, although I’m thinking about his frown. Was he frowning because this is all real to him now, and he’s having second thoughts? Because he really looks upset about something. He holds a sheet out to me and I take it, giving it a quick read.

“You were out already?”

“Some of us don’t sleep until noon,” he teases. “I even got a run in and I picked up some of your favorite bagels and that…” He pauses to make a face like he’d just eaten something vile. “…vegetable cream cheese that tastes like dirty feet.”

“It’s delicious and how do you know what dirty feet taste like?” He arches a brow and I shake my head. “Never mind.” I fold my arms and lean against the wall. “Seriously though, you did a lot this morning and now I feel like a lazy oaf.”

He winks at me. “Your body is busy making a baby. You need to be lazy.”

A measure of unease grips me as I get another cramp, because I suddenly think I’m going to disappoint the man who was reluctant to get involved in my crazy hairbrained scheme. Maybe I should have left him out of this because dammit, he’s really committing to the job.

I glance at the baby proofing list again. “It’s a bit early for this.”

He shrugs. “Maybe, but once the season starts again in the fall, I’ll be on the road a lot and I just want to make sure this is all done.”

He almost looks a little sad that I’m not all that happy about this. I squat down, cup his face and kiss him. “This was really sweet.” He shrugs like it’s nothing, but I know it’s not. I’m just a bit worried that I’ll never be able to get pregnant, and now that I’ve involved him, this isn’t just about me anymore. Why didn’t I consider that? Dammit, how could I have been so selfish?

“Conner, it might not happen.”

“Yeah, I know but I like to be prepared just in case.” He jumps to his feet, opens the cabinet and produces the pregnancy test, and I’m a little surprised—although I shouldn’t be—that he remembered today was testing day. “And there is only one way to find out if it did happen.”

I take it from him, and that’s when I notice the plastic pieces on the floor. “What were you doing down there anyway?”

“Trying to put the safety lock on the cabinet.”

I bend and pick up the plastic lock and instructions, giving them a quick read. “This doesn’t seem too hard.” He goes quiet, something troubling on his mind, judging by his frown. “Conner?”

He puts one hand on the counter, and glances at the cabinet doors. “What if…my DNA isn’t up to snuff with my brother’s?”

“Conner,” I begin quickly. “You are an NHL superstar. Any child would be so lucky to have your DNA.” He glances at the instructions as I set them on the counter, and that’s when I realize he was having trouble with them. “I know how to do this because I helped my sister baby-proof her house years ago.”

He nods. “I just don’t want our child to have a hard time, or get picked on.”

“A hard time with school, you mean?” What is it he’s not telling me?

“Yeah.” He forces a smile.

“I had a hard time in school too, you know.”

His brow bunches. “You did?”

I nod, and continue. “One of the reasons I started learning a new language was because it came easy to me, and I wanted something to make me feel more educated. All the people we hang out with, they’re all so educated and I just take care of dogs.”

He touches my face. “It’s a very important job.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do. I just knew college wasn’t for me, and no one has ever made me feel inferior, but sometimes I just feel less than when I’m around highly educated people who seem like they’re good at everything. So instead of letting those feelings overtake me, I embraced them and try to conquer them by learning a new language. It gives me confidence. Does that sound silly?”

“Not at all, and I didn’t know that, Dani.” I wait for him to tell me what’s going on inside his brain. He finally opens his mouth and asks, “Do you want me to leave while you pee on that stick?”

Clearly, he doesn’t want to talk about what’s really upsetting him. “Why don’t you go put a bagel in the toaster for me, and I’m sure we’ll have the results when it pops.”

“Okay.” He bends and gives me a soft kiss. Even though it seemed like he wanted to stay, I’m going to need a minute with the results, no matter what they are.

“Wait, can I have your phone? I need the time.”

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