Page 38 of False Start

I actually do a littlewhoopsound and fist-pump at that before undressing down to my boxer briefs and climbing into bed with him to not kiss.

Because I can wait a week. There’s no doubt in my mind I’m going to want to kiss him next weekend and every one after that, if he’ll let me.

It sounds like I’m going to have to convince him of that though.

Challenge. Accepted.

18

AUSTIN

Okay, this is no big deal. Not at all. Just my best friend, who I’ve been in love with forever, is coming to my dorm tonight to maybe kiss me again. No reason to be freaking the fuck out.

Right?

I think I might have hit my head or something last week and I’m just imagining it. That has to be it. But when I talked to Vaughn this week—and I mean every single time I talked to him, whether it was a video chat or texting—he mentioned how much he couldn’t wait to kiss me again.

He has to be messing with me, except Vaughn doesn’t do that. He’s not one to play games—ever. He wears his heart on his sleeve. That’s just the way he is, but I still can’t seem to grasp that he wants to kiss me. Maybe even more than kiss me.

I saw the anger on his face when I suggested maybe this was a rebound or he was just lonely, but maybe he doesn’t even realize that’s what this is. Can I really go along with this if it is?

Can I kiss him and touch him? Have him for a brief moment in time before he moves on to his actual happily ever after?

I’m a selfish idiot because I think I can. I mean, it’ll absolutely kill me—no doubt about it. But I don’t think I’m strong enough to turn down this opportunity. One thing I know for sure though is I can’t get lost in it.

In the fantasy that he’s in love with me too. I swear that’s actually what he was going to say before I stopped him, and I just can’t let that happen. It’s a rule I have to stick to. No great declarations of love. And even though I’m even more sure, now that we’ve been apart, that I’m actually in love with him, I can’t let him say that to me.

I can’t get swept up, or I’ll never come back from it.

This is just me being selfish—indulging—and maybe we’ll both get something great from it. He’ll get his rebound and his confidence back. And maybe I’ll gain some confidence and get to explore my sexuality with someone I love and trust.

It’s a win-win really.

I hope.

I don’t get to sit and think too much longer about it, thank God, because there’s an excited knock on my door, and I leap off my bed to answer it. Vaughn is standing there, his bag over his shoulder, a State hoodie covering his long torso. That beautiful grin on his face. “Still want to kiss me?” I ask, my voice hoarse.

His grin kicks up even more as he moves gracefully inside my dorm, letting the door fall closed behind him and wrapping his arms around my waist. His lips meet mine with a hunger and intensity I never could have imagined.

I moan into his mouth, opening for him, letting his tongue sweep inside and own me as I wrap my arms around his neck. “I’ve missed you,” he says against my lips and then goes right back to kissing me so hard, I’m left breathless and aching.

He clings to me, turning his head to look around the room. “Evan already left for the weekend,” I supply.”

“Good.” He drops his bag and then lifts me up without much warning, and I wrap my legs around him, ready to let him do whatever he wants to me. I revel in his strength as he carries me to my bed, letting me fall onto it but covering my body with his, never breaking the kiss.

I rush to get his hoodie off over his head and toss it to the floor, my hands roaming all over his body, under his t-shirt and over the muscles of his back. I need to talk to him. We should use words, but I can’t think.

He really does make me dumber. I wish that bothered me more.

I’m thinking of words to say, but then he sucks on my tongue so hard, it makes my cock jerk against the denim of my jeans... and this is fine. We can talk later.

I rip his shirt off and start kissing down his neck to his chest, while my hands run over his insane torso. “God, you’re too perfect.”

“Have you seen you?” he pants as he moves his hands down to the hem of my shirt, guiding it up and off me. He leans back on his shins, looking at me like he could eat me alive.

“You’re really not freaked-out, are you?”

He cocks a brow at me, his big hand sweeping down over my chest, swirling his fingers over my belly button and down the light trail of hair there. “Why would I be?”

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