Page 37 of False Start

My anger starts to rise a little bit because that’s why he thinks I kissed him? “You know I’ve had three girls, this week alone, hit on me. And that’s not even the most in a week since I’ve been here.”

I can see he’s a little pissed-off now, his scowl deepening. “Why are you telling me that?”

I try to return his scowl but fail. “Because if I was just lonely, I could hook up. I don’t want that.” I really, really don’t. I’m not a player. I never have been, and he should know better.

“But . . .”

“But what?” I ask, my tone a little sharper than I meant it to be.

“You’re not gay, Vaughn.”

“And since you’re the one who goes to the more liberal college, shouldn’t you know that there are many sexualities out there?” I know because I started researching more and more when he came out. I didn’t want to be an ignorant asshole.

“But . . .” He opens his mouth and then closes it. “But . . .”

I can’t help but laugh at him being speechless, it doesn’t happen often. I nudge him with my arm and roll my eyes dramatically. “Jeez. I guess I’m going to have to teach you some things. Sexuality isn’t fixed. I don’t think so anyway. I think it’sfluid. And while no, I’ve never been attracted to another guy before, lately, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am very,”—I turn to look him right in the eyes—“very attracted to you.”

He gulps. And I mean actually full-on gulps. “You are?”

I nod with a smile, then push my hand through his thick hair and lean my forehead against his. “Very.”

“When did this happen?”

I grin. “I don’t know. I think it’s been there, under the surface, for a long time.” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to not be a coward right now. “I think I’m in l?—.”

He covers my mouth with his hand and shakes his head before I can get the rest out. His eyes are wide, and he looks terrified. I frown beneath his palm. “Don’t. Please don’t.”

“What?” The sound is still muffled by his hand, and I reach up to remove it. “You don’t want me to say it?”

He shakes his head and then stands up, walking away from me but turning to look at me. “This is...” He’s breathing hard. “This is a lot. Something I never thought could ever...” He shakes his head and stops himself. “Look, I can’t be a rebound for you after Vanessa or some kind of experiment.” I start to argue with him, more anger bubbling up, but he holds up a hand to stop me. “If you really...” He stops again and puffs out a ton of air before looking back at me. “If you really want to kiss me again and maybe even more?—”

“So much more,” I cut in emphatically because I want it all. That kiss was epic. I want to do it again and again, and I can’t even imagine what it’ll be like when I get my hands on him.

He smiles shyly at me but then quells it. “Maybe even more, then we need to take it slow.”

“You know we’ve been together for a long time, right?” I stand up, stalking toward him, but as I reach him, he puts his hands on my chest, keeping me from kissing him.

“Not like this, we haven’t. I need . . .”

“Please tell me you don’t need more space.” I think it will kill me.

He shakes his head. “No, but I just...” He sighs. “I need to take it slowly. I need this to be real if it’s going to happen.”

I grasp his chin and tilt it up so he’s looking into my eyes. “It’s very real. I’ll never hurt you. You know that.”

“Not on purpose, you won’t, but Vaughn...” His eyes are watery, and shit, I don’t want to make him cry. How did I mess this up? “You’re everything to me. I don’t want to lose that.”

“You won’t.” That much I’m sure of. He can’t ever get rid of me.

He smiles at that and pats my chest with his hand before moving back. “We should sleep. I have to get out of here tomorrow before the crowd comes in for the game.”

I frown. “So no more kissing?”

He grins, shaking his head at me fondly, and I can never tire of that look on his face. “Not tonight.”

“But maybe next weekend?” I sound like a hopeful idiot, but I couldn’t care less as long as he says yes.

“If you still want to kiss me next weekend, yeah. More kissing next weekend.”

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