Page 24 of False Start

“No.” He stands up, getting into my space, his big body making me feel small, but I’m not scared of Vaughn—at least not physically. “We can’t just drop it. Tell me why. I know you’re keeping something else from me. I can feel it. I may be dumb, but I’m not that dumb.”

“You’re not fucking dumb at all,” I grit out, hating that he thinks of himself that way. “Please just drop it,” I say, the words actually painful.

“No.” He steps even closer to me, his hands going to my shoulders and holding on so I can’t escape. “Tell me.”

“You really want to know?” I look up into his soulful eyes, wearing every emotion he’s feeling. “You think it will make anything better? Because it won’t. It’ll make it worse.”

“No. It won’t. The truth is never wrong. Tell me, Austin. Tell me why you’re trying like hell to get away from me.”

“Because I’m in love with you!” I shout and then pull away from him, watching his body morph into frozen fear and shock because, of course, he’s surprised. He had no idea that’s how I felt about him, and I know I just made everything so much worse. Just like I said.

“Vaughn...” I place a careful hand on his shoulder, but he won’t look at me.

“You’re in love with me?” He says it with quiet wonder, looking down at the ground. “That’s why you don’t want to be near me?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to be around you at all. I’m not cutting you out of my life. I just need some...”—I try to be careful with my words because I’ve done enough damage—“distance.”

He slowly turns his head, and his eyes are watery as they meet mine. It’s a punch to the gut. I did that to him. I broke one of the happiest guys I know. I hurt him. “Distance.”

He says it quietly, and I feel a tear of my own slide down my cheek. “Just for a while. Maybe I’ll meet someone great, and I’ll decide this wasn’t actually love. Maybe my brain is just confusing the nicest, best guy I know and being in love.”

“And totally the hottest guy you know, right?” he says, a tiny little smile on his face.

I grin at that, another tear falling as I try to choke back a sob. “Yeah, and not at all modest.”

He smiles, and I watch his Adam’s apple bob with sorrow. “I’m so sorry, Austin. I didn’t know.”

“How could you know? I didn’t tell you, and I hid it as much as I could.”

“But...” he starts but is interrupted by the sound of tires on gravel, and we both turn to see Vanessa’s car coming down the path to the campsite.

I pull him into a hug. “Your ride’s here.”

He squeezes me back so tightly, I can barely breathe, but I don’t care at all. “Promise me, you won’t try to ditch me. That you’ll answer when I call, and we’ll see each other.” He pulls back but just enough to look into my eyes. “Promise me, or I won’t let you go.”

I smile, the emotions clogging my throat, and part of me wants to make him promise not to let me go either, but instead, I nod my head. “I promise. Go and be great, Montgomery.”

I wink at him, and he hugs me one last time before shoving me playfully away with a laugh. “That’s Vaughn to you.”

I smile. “Go be great, Vaughn.”

He looks like he’s going to cry, and I, for sure, know I will be as soon as he and Vanessa leave. But we manage to hang on until I give Vanessa and him a final hug, and then they drive off.

I know this is for the best.

I know this is right.

But goddamn, if it doesn’t still feel completely wrong too.

13

VAUGHN

“Hey you.” Vanessa wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a kiss before we start our walk from where we met after class. Hers was in the building next to mine. It’s so good to see her face because I’m in a shitty mood.

We’ve been in college for a little over two weeks, and it’s been miserable. I mean, classes are fine. I like my new teammates—the ones I’ve talked to anyway—it’s a really big team, and I’m not a starting player yet.

So far, the classes haven’t been anything I can’t handle. But there’s one thing looming over my head nonstop—Austin.

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