Page 12 of False Start

Why won’t he look at me?

“I don’t care that you’re gay. Do you really think that matters to me? Who cares if you’re into guys instead of girls? I should have picked up on that. But why didn’t you tell me?”

It’s not fair to feel so betrayed, I’m sure, but I do. We tell each other everything.

“It’s Big Bend,” he says as if it’s an answer, and he still won’t look at me. It’s bothering me more than it should. What other secrets is he keeping?

“So? I don’t care about that shit. Benny’s my friend.”

“Not your best friend.” His eyes finally meet mine, and I can see they’re shimmering with tears he hasn’t shed. “Your friend who you cuddle with and sleep in bed with. Who you tell everything to. It’s different.”

“Yeah. It is.” He looks hurt for a moment, and I kind of want to strangle him. “That means I’ll have your back, no matter what, and you can trust me. Always. You know that. How could you keep this from me?”

“I didn’t want you to hate me.” His voice is so quiet, I nearly miss it.

I pull him into a hug, holding him tight. “And I thought I was the moron in this friendship.”

That finally gets a little laugh from him, and I smile. He hugs me back, and I hear him sniffle. “It changes things.”

“No.” I hug him tighter, breathing in his familiar scent, letting it ground me. “It doesn’t.” I pull back enough to look into his eyes. “It doesn’t, Austin.”

“I’m gay, Vaughn. You’re really going to tell me you’re fine sleeping in the same bed with me? Calvin is a ticking timebomb. It’s only a matter of time before the rest of the town knows. You think it won’t be embarrassing for you to hug me in public? People will talk.”

“Let them,” I say firmly because I really don’t give a shit about that. I’m not gay. I have a girlfriend. But if people want to talk, it’s not really my problem.

He pushes out of my hold and takes a step back, looking at me like I’m naive. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. You don’t see the world...” He stops, and I take a step closer.

“Like what? I don’t see the real world?”

He sighs. “No. You see the best. You’re an optimist, and I like that about you, but sometimes that’s dangerous. It wasn’t easy for Dallas. He ran, and he was right to. Benny—he’s something else entirely.”

“Benny is fine and happy. I just want you to be happy. It’s clear that keeping this secret was making you miserable. I don’t get it.”

“I know you don’t.”

“So tell me,” I say, finding a large tree trunk that fell over at some point. It’s sturdy enough to sit down on, so I do, and I patthe spot next to me for him to join. Thankfully, he does. “What happened with Calvin?”

“He kissed me.” I grimace, and Austin picks up on it. “Seriously? Squeamish already, hearing about two guys kissing?”

I shove his arm but grab him when he nearly falls over the large tree. “I made that face because it’s Calvin. Fucking gross. You can do better.”

He studies me carefully, looking into my eyes, and then seems satisfied that I’m not lying to him. I’m not, for the record. I don’t care about two dudes kissing. Kiss who you want, when you want, I say. I just can’t believe he doesn’t know me better than that.

“It was once. I was waiting for you after football practice and got mouthy with him. Wanted him to go the fuck away, but he got worked up and wound up kissing me.”

Hot rage flows through my blood, thinking about Calvin’s lips on Austin. “I’ll kill him.”

“Jesus.” He shoves my arm, but I don’t move, thanks to hours of lifting weights and years of sports. “You have learned nothing.”

“Not true. Learned my best friend is gay and apparently has terrible taste in men tonight. I think I learned a lot.”

“Shut. Up.” He smiles—and it feels like I can actually breathe again when I see that. He nudges me, and I pull him into me, letting his head rest on my shoulder.

“Nothing changes,” I say firmly and hold onto him just as hard.

“Vaughn . . .”

“No,” I say quickly. I guess I can understand why he’d think I’d want things to change. That I’d be freaked-out about being half naked and sharing a bed with him when I know he’s intoguys. But even being a meathead, I know gay guys don’t want to bang every guy they see.

---