Page 94 of Homecoming

“No,” Alana smiles. “Kat… How do you manage it? It has to be hard juggling three men. All those emotions, feelings… their jealousy?”

“Yeah, sometimes it’s hard. I never planned for it to end up like this. And I most certainly did not plan to fall for Digby like that on the first night I arrived. But…oh man, the moment he opened that door, it was like… like someone smacked me in the chest with a baseball bat. I felt all the breath leave my body, my head went dizzy, and I was just overwhelmed with... with lust. For so long, I’d kept my Luna wolf shut away, scared that she might one day consume me, but in that very moment, it was like she had woken from a long hibernation. The roar of her cry in my head… was deafening, and I swear if she could, she would have burst from my body just to have had sex with him. Fate… kismet, I don’t know what it was. Then there was Darius…

Kat closes her eyes and takes a breath.

... Oh, the smell of him—that aftershave. Of course, I tried to tell myself I hated him. Those first few days when he’d yell and treat me like crap. When he took away my security pass because I wouldn’t do what he said. Now I can see it for what it was. He wanted to dominate me—wanted me to submit. I resisted until that night we were alone and then… then I was putty in his hands. I would have let him do anything he wanted. I couldn’t get enough of his touch, his hand on my throat as he brushed against my cheek, whispering about what he was going to do to me. The woman that I am yearned for him. Digby had my wolf, but Darius had me.”

“And what about Noah? How does he fit into this relationship?”

“Noah…” Kat sighs, “he saved me. He dragged me from a hunter’s trap and saved my life. There was something so very special about him that both Luna and I just fell in love with. He is so different from anyone I’ve ever met before. He’s kind, gentle, with an innocence to him, but there's also a strength. I don't just mean physically, I mean emotionally too.” Kat suddenly smiles. “You may not remember my telling you this, but Noah was a virgin when I met him. He lived up there all alone on the mountain and then one day along comes this over-sexed she-wolf that literally falls into his world. I remember vividly this one night, we made love outside—the two of us alone, the moon, the mountain, the stars—and something happened. We connected that night and it was like he touched my soul. Suddenly I felt bound to him. I’ll tell you another secret. I lost his pup… his child… I miscarried it. Oh, it was a very early pregnancy, and Noah will tell you it just wasn’t meant to be. But I ache for him. I can feel his hurt. The pain of how much he wants a child. Me doing this—going back on the team—I’m denying him the chance to be a father and I still feel like I owe him a child.”

“But you don’t.” Alana rests her hand on Kat’s as she trembles. “You don’t owe anyone a child. It was a tragic loss. You know that fact because you’re a medic.” She smiles reassuringly. “Kat, can I ask you something personal? You don’t have to answer, but do you think you’ll ever choose—between them? Choose just one of them to be with?”

“I don’t know. Sure, I’ve thought about it. But how? How would I choose? I mean, I feel like I should. Like that’s what they’re all waiting for—for me to choosethe one. But I ask myself ‘how’ when I love them all? I can’t imagine losing even one of them. Do you think I should choose? Do you think that it would make things better? Would it be easier for me if I chose to be with one of them—give my whole self to just one?”

“Kat, I really can’t answer that for you. Only you know how you feel. That’s a decision that can only be yours. But I will say, if being with them all makes you truly happy, then why choose? Who says you have to? I’ve told you this before, people live in all kinds of relationships. It’s not for me to judge. I’m just here to help make sense of your thoughts.”

“I know.” Kat sighs and takes a deep breath, looking up at the family pictures in silver frames displayed proudly on the shelves around the office. “Do you think you’ll ever tell Darius about Riley?”

“No.”

“That was a very certain reply. Don’t you think he should know he’s a father?”

“As I’ve already stated, Matthew is Riley’s father and will be his father until the day he dies. I don’t want it any other way. It would hurt Matthew so very much and I would never want to do that to him.”

“But have you never wanted Darius to know? You didn’t ever think you should tell him? And what about Riley, doesn’t he deserve to know the truth of who his real father is? That he’s really part wolf? Is that not important?”

“What good would it do to tell him, apart from making his whole life feel like a lie? And what would he gain from that? Like you said, Darius has Evelyn, and he won’t even acknowledge her for you. What would make Riley different?”

“I suppose you’re right.” Kat looks at the time on her watch and notices two texts on her phone. “I should go. I’m meeting Darius for dinner. He’s waiting and patience is definitely not one of his virtues.” Kat smiles as she quickly answers the text with a short reply.

“Kat…” Alana stands and holds the door open, “you’ll do fine at the assessment. Just don’t overthink it and answer the questions honestly. Really, you’re good to go.”

“I hope so. And thank you. I’ve never had anyone listen to me like this before. I know I’m paying for it but still… I appreciate it,” she smiles.

“You’re welcome to schedule a session anytime you want if anything comes up or you want to talk something through. And maybe we could catch up for a coffee—off the clock as friends sometime soon.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Kat smiles and picks up her jacket from the back of the chair. “Alana, thank you.” She brushes a kiss on her cheek before she leaves the office and heads down the corridor.

As the door clicks shut, Alana sighs loudly, and sitting herself at the desk, she looks at the many photographs surrounding her office of the four of them: her, Matthew Riley, and Quinn in the posed photo session they treated her to for her birthday.

The peaceful silence is suddenly broken by the familiar sound of her cell phone.

“So hey there, my gorgeously sexy husband…” Greeted by the voice of a stranger, Alana's smile drops to a frown. “Oh my God. Uh… yeah. Yeah sure. Okay, I… I’m coming now. Sorry, which hospital did you say? Sure… I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Alana scrambles to gather her possessions, purse, and keys as she bolts for the door, slamming it shut behind her.

“Mr.Darius,sir,welcomeback.” The Maître d’ smiles and as he rings a bell, another waiter appears from across the room.

“Miss Morgan, would you like some champagne?”

“Please…” Kat smiles and whispers to Darius, “he remembered my name.”

“Why wouldn’t he? That’s his job.” Darius smiles, reaching his hand across the table. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get a reservation at Exclusives. It would seem the owner is in town and he has the entire restaurant booked out.”

“It’s okay,” Kat strokes his arm. “This was all very last minute and so I didn’t really expect you’d be able to get a table there. Anyway, I love this place and they have my favorite cheesecake, but I can’t believe you booked the penthouse again.”

“Still, I’m sorry. I want to give you what you asked for and I let you down. I will make it up to you later.”

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