Page 63 of Connected

“Not exactly,” she sighs.

Holding the phone, she stares at the text wondering what to reply but deciding she won’t—for now—she drops the phone on the table and heads back to the refuge of the bathroom.

Chapter 19

Moon phase: waning

Day three after the full moon.

“Hey, are you gonna get dressed? I mean, are you goin’ into work today?”

“You know… could you put Darius off, just for one more day, without him asking too many questions? I’ll go in tomorrow, I swear. Only I have something I need to do today.”

“Uh yeah, sure. I already told him you had a stomach-flu and didn’t want anyone seein’ ya like that—that y’all needed to be near the bathroom; you get the picture. Sorry, I couldn’t think of anythin’ else. I guess one more day won’t hurt, but you know, he’s gonna start asking questions soon. Kat, you do know you only have until tonight to decide, for sure, about shiftin’. We’d still have time to plan if you wanted to change your mind?”

“I told you I’mnotdoing that, so please don’t ask me again.”

“Okay, decision noted. It’s just I checked it out and was told it was much better for the pup—and you. Some people say they might be lesswolfif you don’t.”

“What, why the hell does that matter? I mean, they’ve gotta exist in the real world, they can’t just go around being a wolf whenever they want. Maybe it would be for the best to tone it down, anyway?”

“What the hell? So, you don’t want them to be a wolf? To not embrace being a—”

“Digby, that’s not what I’m saying. Don’t you dare put words in my mouth. All I’m saying is, does it matter so much? And I have to say, you don’t seem that bothered about me, that I said I don’t want to be a wolf for five-months. Hell, I can’t even imagine living like that. The world moving on without me or worse, caged up here, not being able to go out—there’s no way Luna could stand that. No, I can’t do it. This is so shitty,” she curses, wiping frustrated tears from her cheek. “This is already fucking me up, so please don’t guilt trip me with that bullshit as well.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t mention it again. Please don’t get yourself stressed—it’s gonna be all right.”

“No, No, that’s just it, it’s not gonna be all right. Digby… Just go to work and leave me alone, I need some time to think.”

“I thought you’d done enough of that. Hell, you haven’t done much talkin’, just sittin’ there thinkin’. Sorry… sorry, I meant nothin’ by that. I’m just sayin’. Kat, I’m way outta my depth here. I’ve never had to deal with this before. Hell, everyone else… Kirstie, Diane, Michelle, Dominique… even Rosie, I didn’t have nothin’ to do with it after—I’m just the damn sperm donor, right?” His lip quivers as he struggles to contain the unusual emotions. “So, you’re gonna have to tell me what I need to do here, and I’ll do it. Just please don’t shut me out. Kat, I need this and I wanna be part of it.” He drops a quick kiss on her forehead, reassuring her. “I gotta go before Darius comes lookin’, but you just stay here and rest up.”

“Digby, wait… I’m sorry—really sorry, for everything. I mean that.” Kat takes a breath and hesitates as he heads to the door. “I… I might be out if you come back early, I have to go see Riley.”

“Riley? Can I ask why? I mean I assume it’s to talk to him but… Kat, why can you talk to him like you do but not me?”

“It’s not that, I just need to see him about something.”

“And you’re not gonna tell me what you need to see him about? Oh… oh, I get it, you’re gonna tell him, aren’t you? I don’t believe you… So, what, you won’t let me tell Zak… Darius—the team—but you can tell Riley? Fuck you, Kat. Why do you always have to have things your own damn way?”

“I’m not telling him as a friend, or even because I want to. If you must know, I’m telling him as a gynecologist. And because I’m sore and I need him to check that I don’t have an infection. So, if that’s not just a little embarrassing—I to have my friend look at me. I then have to put up with you whining that you’re pissed you can’t tell your friends.”

“Oh shit… Kat, I’m sorry. I didn’t think. But you’re okay, right? I mean, there’s nothing wrong… nothing I can do? No, I guess not—stupid question. I’ll um… I’ll leave you with it. Oh, and for what it’s worth, you’re not the only one in pain—my balls are still black and blue,” he smiles. “Oh… did you want me to come with you?”

“No. God no, that’s the last thing I need is you posturing around in front of him—so I don’t think so.”

“Kat c’mon please don’t keep blamin’ me for this. Hell, if I’d have even thought you were in heat, I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near you. It must’ve been why you were gettin’ all the attention—why the guys couldn’t get enough of ya?”

“Digby, I’m sorry, this is not your fault. It’s my own stupidity. My body, so my responsibility. I should have thought more carefully about the consequences, so this problem: it’s on me. You should go, get to training before Darius sends out a search party. I’m gonna be fine—we’ll be fine. Everything will work out, you’ll see.”

She reaches forward and for the first time in nearly three days, she touches him. Kissing his lips, as she stares him in the eyes and smiles. “I’m sorry but remember none of this is your fault.”

He wraps his arms around her and holds her tight, returning her kisses. “So, are you gonna think about tellin’ Darius? Only I thought he’d be able to talk Edwards around, maybe we’ll get a stand-in medic, just for a while.”

“No. No, not yet. We’ve got plenty of time for all that. Hell, I’m pregnant, not ill. Digby, I’ll quit when I feel I can’t do it anymore.”

“But if we get spun up, what then?”

“Well, so what? I’m strong. Hell, I’m a wolf—kinda; or kinda not as of now, I suppose? But just because I can’t shift doesn’t make any difference. I mean lots of women work right until they have their babies, so I can do the same. But if we tell Darius now, then he’ll have to tell Edwards, and then… then they’ll stand me down. Digby, I don’t want that. Hell, I’ll go stir crazy if I have to sit around here all day doing nothing. Please let me do this in my own time.”

---