Page 62 of Connected

“What the fuck?” she gasps, hardly able to believe he just said that. “You’re deluded. You want me to live here in the spare room… like some pet dog? Perhaps you could take me for walks around the base? Maybe I’ll buy you a pooper-scoop… or perhaps you just want to cage me up like Alvarez did—like he did to those other wolves. Is that what you want? Oh yeah, I bet you’d love it, me being in your control. Stuck here as—as a wolf. Yeah, that’s your dream come true. No Kat; just the wolf.”

“Kat, please…” he takes a breath, trying not to get angry; hard as it is with her being so poisonous towards him. It’s obvious from the vitriol in her words that she blames him. “No, that’s not what I’m sayin’. I just… Oh hell, I don’t know what I’m sayin’ anymore,” he sighs, dragging his hand through his hair. “Kat, I don’t know what to do. Fuck… this is a total mess.”

“Ryan, we need to be realistic. We can’t have a pup. I mean, not with our—my—job. Hell, my entire career is gonna be out the window.”

“Doesn’t have to be. Lots of women work and have kids. Hell, most of my exes have jobs and they use day-care.”

“They have jobs. Doing what exactly? Oh yeah, let me remind you… hairstylist, part-time in a store… healthcare worker, stay-at-home-mom. Yeah, I don’t see any of them bein’ special forces operators, do you? Oh, get fuckin’ real Digby, how the fuck is that even gonna work? So, what… we just leave the pup here when we get spun up, or what are your plans for that scenario? How… how does this even equate to working out?”

“I don’t know,” he swallows anxiously. “Hell, I hadn’t really thought that far—I hadn’t thought very far at all. But we could get some childcare or somethin’ like that?”

“Oh yeah, what on twenty-four-hour call? Will you wake the fuck up? We cannot have a pup. There is no way this can happen.”

“Well, we could get a live-in au pair. That could work. Some… you know, a young girl that likes kids, wants to learn English, somethin’ like that? Maybe a young wolf-girl; we could give her a home and even get somewhere off base? Rhys might know someone who wants a job?”

“Rhys? Rhys might know someone. What the fuck… Are you serious? Oh… oh, I see, you wanna get some whore to live in the house? You’ve got a little fantasy going on in your head that you’re gonna fuck the sitter, or maybe you wanna see me and her get it on—how about that?” she stares at him and he can see the flickers of anger in the deep green of her eyes. “No Ryan that’s not happening.”

“Kat, you know that’s not what I meant. I just… Oh hell, you know what, forget it,” he sighs, “I can’t discuss this with you when you’re bein’ like this. Maybe you need some time-out and cool off. You know if you just tried to think outta the box you might see this may not be such a terrible thing. Hell, you could get a desk job for the Navy or one at the hospital? You wanted to do that before and that would fit perfectly. You would get to see more of Riley then. Maybe he can get you somethin’ where he works? Then I could take care of the pup while you’re at work, and if I get spun up, you wouldn’t be far away. See that could work out, right?”

“Oh, yeah great, you get to keepyourcareer and do whatyouwant. But I have to give up mine? Well, how aboutyouget a new job? Or you stay here and take care of the yappy little thing and I could stay with the team. After all, Darius said he needs a medic more than he needs a dumbass operator like you?” she sneers with a kind of contempt he’s not seen from her before.

“Now you’re just bein’ pure nasty.”

“Oh, go fuck yourself. What, you come up with some wacko solution and what I’m supposed to gooh yeah great idea Ryan… swoon.Yeah, I’ll stay home and bake cookies, right? Bring it on I can’t wait.”

“Fuck you, Kat! All right, I know it’s not ideal, but if it hasn’t escaped your attention… I can’t give birth. So, it’s you, you that has to decide what you’re gonna do.”

“Well, I know one thing, I’m not shifting. That is one thing I will not be doing. I’m never giving Luna that much control over me. I don’t want to be a wolf—and I won’t!”

“Okay, well, that’s fine. You’ve decided and I guess it’s your right. Just… well, you may wanna think about the pup, perhaps put it first. Think how it might be better for it?”

“I told you that’s bullshit. That’s some old wolf’s tale. What, you think it makes a wolf more powerful or stronger? You think it’ll be more wolf? Well, fuck you and your archaic bull-crap.”

She closes her eyes to catch a breath; taking a minute as she waits for the pain between her legs to ease. “I need to get dressed; I have a few things I need to take care of.”

“Kat… Kat, please don’t go. We need to talk about this. Hell, we need to behave like grown-ups and talk it through properly.”

“Yeah, maybe we should, but I don’t want to right now. I’m done talking so just leave me the hell alone. Actually, I need to go lie down for a while.”

“Kat, please don’t be like this. We’ll sort it, I promise. Shit…” he sighs, watching as she disappears into the hallway. “All right, well if you’re gonna be like this then I’m gonna go to the gym for a while—work out some of this testosterone. I feel like I’m gonna explode.”

“Yeah… go be a good wolf boy. I mean, you’ve done youralphapart now—adding to the wolf gene pool—again!Now I guess you’re all pumped about that,” she snarls. “Well, I swear to God, if you tell anyone, and I meananyone,then you better sleep with your eyes open because I will cut your fuckin’ balls off the next time you fall asleep. Do you understand me?”

“Yeah, I hear you.”

“Good, because I mean it.” A tear of anger trickles down her cheek and she takes a breath. Looking at his bewildered face, she can hear Luna snarl in anger for her speaking to him like that. “Ryan… Ryan, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take it out on you, it’s just… I can’t deal with this right now.”

“It’s okay, I understand. Now come here. Kat, please come here.” He wraps his arms around her, holding her tight. “I get it, really I do. It’s a lot to take in and feelings are runnin’ high. Why don’t you go take a bath and relax for a while—watch some trashy TV? I’ll tell Darius you’re feelin’ sick or you ate some of Bud’s cookin’,” he laughs. “I don’t know, but I’ll think of somethin’. Just stay here and unwind. We’ll talk about this when I get back and we’ve both had some time to get our head around it.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I need some time to work out a plan.”

“And it will—work out. It’s gonna be fine, you’ll see. Kat, we’ll get through this, I promise.”

He leaves, and she takes a deep breath. Stifling her cries, she wipes the tears from her face and heads to the bathroom.

Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she takes a deep breath. “Oh Kat, what a fucking mess.”

Washing her face, she strips. Then, listening, she hears the beep of a text on her phone. Wrapping herself in a large fluffy towel, she heads back to the living room and checks the message. It’s from Riley, he’s asking about the previous night. If she had a good time and if she’s all right.

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